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The Dreamcast Of Hip-Hop: Charles Hamilton. @CharlesHamilton

November 19, 2019 by Dan Stuckie 2 Comments

“They say I’m going crazy and we’ve seen this before, but I’m doing pretty good as far as geniuses go”. Kanye West rapped this line in 2007 on his track ‘Barry Bonds’ off of his third album, the omnipresent Graduation. Charles Hamilton would sample this song only one year later, in his barrage of unconventional mixtape releases during his break out XXL Freshmen cover year. In this issue XXL would describe Charles Hamilton’s sound and persona as a mix between ‘Eminem and Kanye West’, a tall comparison to live up to but also the most accurate description. At that time sampling a Hip-Hop song was rare, other than the occasional vocal snippets for a DJ scratched in hook, and sampling a current song was even more taboo. Charles Hamilton’s out-the-box thinking, his double edged sword, would break both these rules quite often- almost too often. The song ‘My Wonderful Pink Polo‘ also samples Kanye West’s song ‘I Wonder’ -or it’s original sample- doubling down on this disapproved technique. In his breakout year he would almost exclusively sample current or relatively recent songs for his beats which traditionalist would shun. The upside of this odd production quirk was that Charles Hamilton’s alternative sound now had a wing-man for listeners who would normally overlook the underground/alternative music he was offering. A memorable sample triggers something in a listener, it is a Trojan Horse into the ears of the reluctant, if you can crack the door open some way then you had an opportunity to connect with a new fan. Breaking the unwritten rule and sampling the obvious was Charles Hamilton’s way. His breakout major label single ‘Brooklyn Girls’ was the deepest crate digging he did, sampling K.P. & Envi’s hit 1998 single ‘Shorty Swing My Way‘.

This odd approach and unstructured thinking was the basis of Charles Hamilton’s raw talent and genius. Thelonious Monk once said ‘a genius is the one most like himself’ and Charles was the most unique artist of his class. Being ahead of your time can be a flaw depending on how far off your time period actually is in the future, or how well you navigate your current time period. Almost every major trend in Hip-Hop now is something Charles Hamilton did in 2008 and either was over looked , or worse, laughed at for it. The current Emo phase in Hip-Hop is now omnipresent, XXXTentacion had an image of a noose and a suicide note on the cover of his debut album, artist overdosing and succumbing to the pressures of life on social media is unfortunately too familiar. There were always depressed artists, the arts seem to attract those types, Kurt Cobain and Van Gogh are some of the iconic ones. Though in the social media era everyone statistically is more depressed and artists are now showing it openly. This was not the case in 2008, this was the tail end of the “Jiggy Era” where the life portrayed by commercial artists usually was a never ending success. Jim Jones’ ‘We Fly High’ (BALLIN’!!!) was a huge hit a few years prior and 50 Cent and Kanye West were going to war over who had it better with “I Get Money” and “Good Life”. Fast forward ten years to 2018 and now Kanye is opening his album up with “I Thought About Killing You” an ode to mental health and suicidal thoughts. Charles in 2008 was still ‘the most like himself’, his magnum opus The Pink Lavalamp had a song that was a subtle suicide note, which he stated that he planned on killing himself after the recording until he heard the reaction the song got from people in the studio. ‘Music (Intro)’ opens up the album and has the lyrics “No real family, no real friends, no real escape, no real end- so I’m gon’ die with my music.. No good liquor, no good bud, no good pussy, no good drugs- so music is the only love”, content much more 2018 than 2008. Though much brighter sonically XXXTentacion’s ‘SAD!‘ was a number one hit with similar dark subject matter. Even the handicap of having dark material crossover as a mainstream major label artist was acknowledged by Charles, his shelved major label debut This Perfect Life had the single ‘All Alone’ which was upbeat in feeling and sound but just as dark as X’s ‘SAD!’ in content.

Charles Hamilton’s genius was in his musical prowess, a self taught pianist who could solo on the piano as flawlessly as he could freestyle lyrics. His proficiency on the piano can be heard in songs like ‘Jesus For A Day’ and in many live performance recordings. A multi-instrumentalist, a rare feat for a Hip-Hop artist, that produced his own music. His ability to freestyle -truly freestyle- was ironically also a rare feat for a Hip-Hop artist. Going into radio interviews and freestyling longer than artist spit writtens was a regular thing for Charles. His eclectic taste in music from Rock, Punk, Pop and Electronic also made his sound unique, his influences were very distant from his genre. Most rappers now call themselves rock stars, or state they are Rock fans, even the ones where no non-Hip-Hop influence can be heard at all, state they are Rock fans. In 2008 this was not the norm, the ‘devil’s horns’ hand gesture is in every Instagram photo today but Charles can be seen awkwardly throwing it up in the inside photos of the XXL Freshmen cover surrounded by his peers ten years before it would be cool. Even his painted finger nails and nonstop trolling were laughable then when today they are common place. From the Rock aesthetic, diverse musical taste, multi-genre output, self depreciating content, raw and unforgiving lyrics, and online trolling for attention, Charles seemed to have every bullet point checked off for a successful career in 2018 and 2019.

His talent and genius were apparent, Jimmy Iovine the head of Interscope Records personally signed Charles Hamilton himself. Perhaps he too noticed the Eminem similarities, as his label helped break out the iconic star ten years prior. The Kanye similarities are also obvious, but a large portion of the Kanye traits fans detest Charles adopted. Kanye navigated fame rather delicately, his erratic behavior was curbed until he reached a steady level of fame where his public acts would just be headlines instead of career ending blunders, the bigger Kanye grows the bigger backlash his superstar status can absorb. Typical of any extremely creative person, Charles’ mind would sometimes wander to a career blundering idea, but then he would actually execute it without the substantial amount of fame and achievements to withstand it. Wearing a MAGA hat should kill anyone Hip-Hop artist’s career, or at least warrant huge shaming and an actual apology. Charles Hamilton would go on to do the 2008 equivalent of this many times over but take all the heat and repercussions a superstar would have been able to avoid. He thought and acted as if he was already a Grammy Award winning act. Being ahead of your time is also a flaw when the trait you are ahead of the game with is a negative trait: trolling for attention. From citing the late J Dilla as executive producer of his major label debut album, an odd way to pay homage to one of his idols, this move did not go over well with the public. On his blog, before the backlash, Charles explained how this was just his way of saying J Dilla’s sound was so influential in his own production that he felt off this influence alone J Dilla should be cited as executive producer. Surely an out the box way to pay homage to your idol. No one on the internet or in real life cared. No one was up to hearing his quirky reasoning, it was just blatant disrespect to a cultural icon. Though this one was more misinterpreted than anything, it seemed like trolling a community to go viral. During a freestyle session on camera after an interview with his girlfriend at the time Charles mentions a possible abortion and subsequently gets punched in the face. This was not on a major platform and an artist with Interscope-level power could have gotten this removed, Charles however stated on his blog that he let the footage come out as a way to potentially spread his name and build buzz. Not a good move. You want to go viral being a winner, not a loser. If you plan on going viral doing something the entire community of the genre you’re in hates it’s best to have Kanye-level accolades prior as protection. Perhaps his self confessed loser-mentality, stated in his song simply titled ‘Loser’, manifested certain situations into reality. In 2018 getting knocked out on camera or even putting a hit out on someone on camera just adds to your buzz, XXXTentacion and 6ix9ine would just go viral another time in the media cycle, in 2008 you just got clowned. Social media takes news to the highest of heights instantaneously, the luxury of this for artists today that make blunders is that a week or two later it won’t be news anymore and the public will be laughing at the next blunder someone else did instead.

Charles Hamilton’s strange religious beliefs also did not help, his love for the animated character Sonic The Hedgehog would have gone over better in 2018 where big name artists in Hip-Hop like Lil Uzi Vert and others have actual Anime characters as their twitter avatars. His professed interest in witchcraft and other occult teachings did not help, though in 2018 having an upside down cross or 666 tatted on your face is actually a good conversation starter. The satanic symbolism is so present today it’s not even shocking anymore. Charles Hamilton’s love for the color pink and his belief that God is a woman also fit better in 2018 than 2008, religion is now on it’s last leg and it is apparent in Hip-Hop by the shift in imagery and symbolism. In 2019 society is so past the constraints of religion that an album titled JESUS IS KING is more contrarian than anything else. In 2008 having an infatuation with SEGA and Sonic, and dabbling in witchcraft and the occult were to taboo for Hip-Hop, those influences were better left in Rock and Metal were they came from. The convergence of the genres now has led to a blending of sensibilities and it’s okay for a Hip-Hop artist to have painted fingernails, a love for Anime or animation, and an interest in the occult. The times always change, and what is furthest on the margins is usually a good indicator of whats to come. SEGA, Charles Hamilton’s church-like foundation, found itself in a similar dilemma. The SEGA Dreamcast at the time of it’s launch boasted many features that would become standards in the gaming world of the future. With features today we assume were standard, the Dreamcast ushered in without acknowledgement, in 1998 it was the first console to have online play, something at the time that seemed absurd (just the internet itself had people skeptical in 1998). In 2018 it would be strange if a game did not have online play. In-game voice chat, downloadable content, and second screen technology are all other features that are commonplace today in gaming but first introduced on the SEGA Dreamcast. Though innovative and technologically advanced the Dreamcast suffered to be success. Marketing and promotion among other factors led to the Dreamcast’s demise. If SEGA is Charles Hamilton’s church then their Christ figure that he embodies is their final console: The Dreamcast. SEGA is not gone though, they have a full feature length Sonic The Hedgehog movie coming -their flagship character and biggest mascot- and many games being made for other consoles. Charles Hamilton’s 2015 single ‘New York Raining’ with Rita Ora was a huge record and his following EP and album Hamilton, Charles continued his comeback success.

All the trends now in Hip-Hop were guaranteed to get you laughed at ten years ago, Charles Hamilton proved this. Trends always change and not being a part of what is current will only bring negativity your way. Now had Charles Hamilton not trolled online, made ridiculous claims, continued numerous beefs, and just generally rubbed people the wrong way would his anachronistic sensibilities that are more favorable in 2018 and 2019 been that much of a hindrance to him? Most likely not. But even his worst feats are more common today than 2008, from his strange infatuation with Rihanna, to alluding to a possible relationship, lying about making a beat that he didn’t, listing a past legend as a current collaborator, and releasing negative videos online just to go viral all seem a part of the current chaos of the social media era. In the era of Bonk Gang and 6ix9ine Charles Hamilton’s online antics seem minuscule. XXXTentacion uploaded a picture of Drake’s mother as his Twitter avatar once getting out of jail to accelerate their beef -one that may have been completely fabricated-, he got jumped by the “Migos” on Instagram, did a mock hanging of himself and posted it, and was also accused of pretty shocking domestic violence charges and in 2018 managed to have a number one album on the Billboard charts as an underground artist. Perhaps Charles Hamilton’s constant blogging may have been the nascent stages of a new era of artists growing up in the hyper connected time of social media. Charles may have understood internet culture, or where internet culture was going, and how to manipulate it. His positives and negatives both seem ten years ahead of their time. He may be the first true internet rapper, the internet in the sense we know of it today, omnipresent and ever available. There was a time when being an internet rapper was being an outlier or someone not accepted by the group, but when the internet is everywhere today and every rapper is on the internet today how can one not be an internet rapper today? Along with his Rock and Metal aesthetic and his alternative sensibilities, which are now the norm, his constant outbursts for internet attention are also current common place. Charles Hamilton, like the Dreamcast, may not get credit for current trends but the gaming company EDGE when asked about it’s poor performance once stated “Sega’s console was undoubtedly ahead of its time, and it suffered at retail for that reason… but its influence can still be felt today.”

Filed Under: Amongst The Myriad, Featured Tagged With: 2008, 2008 Hip-Hop, Brooklyn Girls, Charles Hamilton, SEGA, Sonic The Hamilton, Sonic The Hedgehog

Is Black Thought The #1 Mumble Rapper??

March 31, 2019 by Dan Stuckie 2 Comments

The number one scorer in any athletic sport is the person who has simply scored the most points at a professional level than all of the other players. After deep analysis Black Thought of the legendary Roots crew may be the number one Mumble Rapper, a term normally given as a derogatory classification for a certain type of modern rap that does not emphasize the once core component of lyricism. Is mumbling bad though? Spontaneity, rhythm and improvisation are key elements in music and specifically in black music. The human voice, the first instrument discovered on planet Earth, most likely quickly followed by the drum or the concept of percussion, is just another layer of sound manipulated on top of a rhythm. You can’t mumble on an instrument because you can’t speak on an instrument but nonsensical lyrics are not foreign to music and where never looked down upon before. Jazz, and other highly rhythmic improvisational music, tends to naturally gravitate to this concept. Scatting supposedly goes back as early as 1911 though most credit Louis Armstrong’s 1926 single “Heebie Jeebies” for starting this trend, and off one listen one can hear how he is using his voice as if it is an instrument to ride the rhythm and improvise with.

Funk was no stranger to this innovation either, comedian Eddie Murphy has an entire bit in his Delirious special explaining how he has no idea “what the fuck James (Brown) is saying”. As upbeat, groove heavy and funky as James Brown’s band was it’s no wonder lyrics were an unnecessary after thought if an addition at all. Many James Brown tracks are just instrumentals with the band alone and some are even instrumentals with a repeating vamp or chant chimed in by James every few bars, not to mention the lack of clarity and pronunciation in his delivery anyway when he does decide to vocalize. For James Brown the show and stage was his main medium, he’s not the traditional song writer, song writing was just a piece of the puzzle. Most art in this arena of music -pure expression- did not over emphasize the intellectual aspect of the process like it would later be with artists like Bob Dylan, who lacked the other previous essential pieces of the puzzle. That’s not to say no thought is used, like a Jackson Pollock painting, the thought to create with the absent of thought is perhaps the most intellectual insight one can have when creating.

If we take the final product as a complete piece of art, one that does not have to follow a set criteria of a certain amount of snares, hooks, or lyrics with depth per song we can appreciate mumbling or songs without actual words. It’s no coincidence that Hip-Hop can travel and resonate with people all across the globe in countries that don’t even speak or understand the language the artists are rapping in. It connects at a deeper level. De La Soul were one of the first groups to recognize this and on their 1993 LP Buhloone Mindstate they bring in Japanese Hip-Hop guests Scha Dara Parr and Takagi Kan for their track “Long Island Wildin” to do guest verses in their native tongue (pun intended). Another Long Island Hip-Hop legend years earlier, Flavor Flav of Public Enemy, would bring in his own form of non-sequitur lyrics and mumbling on the 1987 LP It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back with his solo track ‘Cold Lampin With Flavor’. Lyrics like “We got magnum brown, shoothki, valoothki/ Super-calafraga-hestik-alagoothki/ You could put dat in ya don’t know what I said book/ Took-look-yuk-duk-wuk”not only rhythmically flow but more importantly they fit the image of Flavor.

None of this would compare to what the legendary MC Black Thought would do in 1999 on a bonus track for the Roots live album The Roots Come Alive. Before we go into Black Thought’s mysterious Mumble Rap Magnum Opus we must first dive into the mind of the master himself. By 2004’s The Tipping Point Black Thought was 10 years into his professional career, earlier videos show a High School aged Black Thought walking around Philly flawlessly incorporating whatever drummer Questlove points at in the surrounding scenery into his rhyme all while showing obvious signs of his Big Daddy Kane influence. When we arrive at “BOOM!” on The Tipping Point the BDK influence is gone and now has evolved into complete homage, Thought’s play with delivery unfolds on the last two verses into full musical method acting and the roles he’s playing are of two of Hip-Hop’s best: Big Daddy Kane and Kool G Rap (impressions done so well one may be confused as to why the guest features weren’t listed). On this same album Thought’s earlier Mumble Rap experiments hit their most acceptable and formatted version on “Don’t Say Nuthin'” with a hook that literally had a contest to figure out what he was saying (we still don’t know). Now to qualify as the number one Mumble Rapper you have to do it professionally -Lanze’s “Bring Me That Shit” single unfortunately is not eligible- 5 years prior to The Tipping Point The Roots put out a live album and on this album a hidden track birthed Mumble Rap. It is probably no coincidence that the track is produced by legendary Hip-Hop producer J Dilla (Jay Dee then) as his group at the time Slum Village was notorious for their winged verses and free form loosely structured lyrics, at times mumbling, stuttering or repeating themselves as if they had not even written down their lyrics. Thought takes this idea to the extreme on “New Years At Jay Dee’s”

Now we know Black Thought can be the most precise and technically proficient MC on the planet, which was never more obvious to the world than with his 10min one-take Funk Master Flex freestyle at Hot97’s radio studio in 2017, die-hard fans already knew of this caliber of skill with songs like “Thought @ Work” “Web” and “75 Bars”, but even lesser known is his ability to be the most abstract lyricist. Those who complain about “Mumble Rap” -newer Hip-Hop artists who clearly understand themselves and who are even less worried about listeners who don’t like them understanding them anyway- can lock in to “New Years At Jay Dee’s” a lot easier due to the BPM, the swing of J Dilla’s un-quantized drums, the low end, and the style in which Thought is “rhyming”. Most would not go to this song for any substance or to use it as an example of the depth of Hip-Hop but it says a lot that a band as artistically elite as The Roots not only recorded it but decided to put it out- almost 20 years before “Mumble Rap”. They recognized the artistic value of it and the true originality of it. This makes Black Thought the number one Mumble Rapper. Most fans would argue the fact that Black Thought being arguably one of the best MCs of all time is what allows songs like this to be accepted but the same creative genius that can beautifully assemble words or paint a portrait can also just as profoundly deconstruct language into rhythmic nonsense or abstract an image into nonuniform shapes and colors. It is all part of the same process and if you are discounting a song for mumbling then you are missing a large part of what it is to listen to a song.

 

 

Filed Under: Amongst The Myriad, Featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black Thought, Mumble Rap, The Roots

Reachin’ Track by Track

February 21, 2019 by Rob Parkour Leave a Comment

Digable Planets Track by Track
By Rob Parkour

Whether we admit it or not, we all judge things before we actually give them a shot. They
call it “judging a book by its cover.” Our instincts usually don’t fail us because we know what
we like. For example, I’m a reality-based person that doesn’t like fantasy. I see the hype around
Game of Thrones and know it’s not for me (it sucks). Adults flock to the latest Marvel comic
book movie and I know I will hate it. I don’t need to put myself through two hours of Marvel
hell to know this. I see Ali Wong’s face on Netflix and know she isn’t funny. I don’t have to
watch her make Asian jokes to confirm this.
Sometimes our instincts betray us and we write off something due to some association we
have in our minds that may or may not be founded on reality. This was me with the hip-hop trio
Digable Planets. I wrote them off as some type of Pharcyde/Souls of Mischief combination or B-
grade Native Tongues group. I’m not even sure what I based this off of. I knew they weren’t
hardcore NYC rap which is probably where the Native Tongue connection came from and their
trippy look and album cover made me associate them with other artists who seemed to prefer
psychedelics and jazz to Hennessy and mob flicks.
I was very wrong. Digable Planets are not only amazing but are right up my alley. Let’s
unpack the album track by track to figure out why.

“It’s Good to Be Here” – The sample starts off with a spacey 35 second clip of “Rain Dance” by
Herbie Hancock which wouldn’t pass today because people have musical ADD and can’t listen
to a song over 2 minutes, let alone 35 seconds of “nothing.” When the beat drops it’s a laid back,
smooth sample of Grant Green’s “Samba De Orpheus.” The drums used are from our guy Mike
Clark, aka the funkiest WASP of all-time that played drums on Herbie Hancock’s underrated
album Thrust.
Digable Planets is the brainchild of Butterfly (Ishmael Butler). Butterfly grew up in
Seattle during the Sir-Mix-A-Lot days and was weaned on Ice-T and Too $hort during his early
education of hip-hop. Butterfly’s parents were divorced and he spent a lot of time in New York
City with his father during the summer which provided the young aspiring MC/Producer with a
deep palette.
Butterfly received a scholarship to play basketball at UMASS in 1988, the same year
John Calipari started coaching the struggling program. The dates aren’t clear but there is a decent
chance that Butterfly was part of John Calipari’s first recruiting class at UMASS which if you
know me, almost made my head explode. Butterfly eventually dropped out of college and moved
to Brooklyn but had he stayed on for all five years of his eligibility at UMASS. There is a chance
that Butterfly, as a fifth-year Senior, would’ve played with Freshman Marcus Camby. There’s
also a chance that John Calipari is the reason that Butterfly dropped out of college and eventually
made this classic. I need to know these things.

Butterfly eventually met Doodlebug (Craig Irving) on a double date and the two
connected so much that they ended up talking the whole time and ignoring their dates. Butterfly
and Doodlebug complement each other very well, their voices sound similar but not in a generic
way. Ladybug Mecca (Mariana Vieira) is the third member and has one of the most unique
voices in hip-hop history. She raps smoother than a baby’s bottom and does not sound out of
place or over her head rapping alongside two stellar MC’s. It‘s easy to forget that hip-hop, like
sports, is a team effort. The sweet spot of rap occurs at the intersection of collaboration and
competition: that’s when the magic happens.
With emailing verses and how easy it is to record, hip-hop has lost that joint effort feeling
in the last two decades. This wasn’t the case in the early 90’s. The group took a dollar bus from
Brooklyn to Montclair, New Jersey at sunrise and wouldn’t come back until after sunset. The
three members spent over 12 hours in the studio every day bouncing ideas off each other and
trying to outdo one another. The result is the sum of the parts being greater than the whole. Being
in sync and on the same wavelength with one another pushes the album to a different level.
You’ve probably noticed that all the members are named after insects. It’s part of the
communal living/daisy age thing they were going for. Or it could be that they were doing lots of
psychedelics at the time. There is a “Cocoon Club” skit at the end that more or less lets you
know that the group is indeed dropping doses of LSD.

“Pacifics (Soundtrack to NY is Red Hot)” – Before Digable Planets, there were groups that
used and made references to jazz like De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest. Guru and DJ
Premier’s early Gang Starr albums also leaned on the jazz sound, but nobody and I mean nobody
in hip-hop loves jazz more than Butterfly. Like the “jazz-hop” artists before him he relies on
samples. The Lonnie Smith sample on this track is a stroke of genius. What separates Butterfly
is all the references he makes to jazz giants of yesteryear, he shouts them out
like Cam’ron shouts out Rich Porter.
In this song Butterfly starts off the song by “pulling from the jazz stacks cuz it’s Sunday”
and wondering what John Coltrane would say of the times. He continues to take us on a vivid
walk down the street in the West Indian section of Brooklyn on a hot, summer day. “But early
birds like me up checking out the scene/The early worms jog, forget about your job/Just come
dig the essence while the decadence is hidden” Butterly uses Greek Mythology to describe how
New York changes on the day of sabbath. “If you know the norm, (Sunday) is like Hades
transformed.”
After Doodlebug’s strong verse sets the scene, the three members go bar for bar with one
another, each only taking one line at a time. It’s here that you notice how remarkable their
chemistry truly is: it shouldn’t be possible to have 16 MC changes in one 16 bar verse but
Digable Planets pull it off in style. It’s like listening to a three-man weave.
Butterfly’s second solo verse on this song is an all-timer that starts with the opening two
lines: “Wake up, praying that the game’s on/maybe it’s the Runnin’ Rebs, maybe it’s The

Knicks.” There aren’t many sports references on this album but referring to Larry Johnson’s
UNLV and Pat Riley’s Knicks in one line makes up for it.
Butterfly continues his name checking fest by bringing up Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert
Camus: the latter made my eyes pop out when I first heard it. I’m sure he was the only rapper at
that point to name check Albert Camus. The very next line “Mingus’ Ah Um, damn Roach can
drum” references one of the best jazz albums and drummers of all time.

“Where I’m From” – The group takes a break from the jazz samples and uses KC & The
Sunshine Band’s song “Ain’t Nothin’ Wrong” to structure the beat around the song’s undeniable
horns. They used a jazz sample for the remix but the original is the superior version.
Each member of Digable Planets hails from a different area, giving the group a sound that
can’t be pinned down to a specific region. We discussed Butterfly’s Seattle/New York City roots.
Ladybug is from the DMV area, Maryland specifically. Doodlebug is from Philadelphia and the
son of a Black Panther History Professor who was obsessed with Jazz. His father was “around
people (Black Panthers and gangsters) that were in the street but who were down with
communist principles.” And I was just about to say Doodlebug’s father sounded like a great guy
to hang out with!
Jazz records weren’t the only thing Doodlebug and Butterfly had in common: they were
(are?) both socialists. In the previous song, Doodlebug talks about reading Erich Fromm right
before bringing up Camus. In this song Doodlebug has a line saying “We be reading Marx where
I’m from/The kids wear Clarks where I’m from.” Really, Doodlebug? What kid in the hood
is rockin’ Wallabee’s while reading fuckin’ Karl Marx? Go to China or North Korea with that
shit. I’m sure the Digable Planets don’t mind our capitalistic society when they cash their royalty
checks they rightfully deserve.

“What Cool Breezes Do” – Ladybug has the last verse on the previous song and the first song
on this one. She is a refreshing change-up to the similar sounding voices of Doodlebug and
Butterfly. Ladybug is far from a pushover but doesn’t sound unnecessarily aggressive. She has
remarkable control with her flow and always sounds confident in her abilities. It doesn’t matter
the tempo of the beat, her style is agile and nimble and can contort to whatever the beat is doing:
her timing is perfect and that of a ten-year veteran. An under-discussed part of rapping is the
little half second pauses rappers give before or during a bar: there’s no manual for how to do it,
you either have the rhythm for it or you don’t. Ladybug has this skill in spades: “Mecca, the
ladybug, changin’ like seasons/Moves I be seein, changin’ life’s reasons.”
Why doesn’t Ladybug get mentioned when people bring up the greatest female MC
debate? MC Lyte is my favorite female MC of all time but I can see why some would give
Queen Latifah that crown. Foxy Brown, Lil’ Kim and Eve are each talented but were propped up
by being in advantageous situations, their degree of difficulty was relatively low. Bahamadia and

Lauryn Hill are the backpack rapper’s answer to best female MC but listening Bahamadia isn’t
exactly fun. Lauryn Hill is smart, a legend, a Queen blah blah blah but I just don’t have the
desire to revisit her one solo album or the Fugees: I played them out. Monie Love is from
London so she’s disqualified. Roxanne Shante and Yo-Yo were important but not even the best
females out at the time. Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes is the coolest and prettiest of the bunch but I
consider TLC more R&B than rap. Salt n Pepa and Da Brat crossed over to big success but
objectively can’t rap as well as Remy Ma or Rah Digga. I grew up listening to Missy Elliot on
95.5 the Beat in Atlanta and I respect her skills as an MC but there’s always been something
holding me back from considering her in that true MC light: it’s the price she pays for making
catchy radio singles. I was about to bring up Mia X and Gangsta Boo but you get the point. After
you take MC Lyte and Queen Latifah out of the equation for respect, you can make a very strong
argument that Ladybug is the best female rapper ever. Doesn’t seem right to give that label
to someone who was one third of a group that released two albums and never released a solo
album until a decade after her prime.
That only leaves one female rapper eligible for the throne. Wait…is that “Afro Puffs” I
hear coming from a distance? Lady of Rage, come on down! Laugh all you want but Lady of
Rage is the hardest female rapper of all time, that is not up for debate. Her guest verses
on Doggystyle and The Chronic account for probably half of the greatest female verses of all
time. I’m very confident that had her album been released after Doggystyle and produced by Dr.
Dre like “Afro Puffs” was, then Lady of Rage would’ve have made the best female rap album of
all-time. Her album coming five years after her initial buzz is a textbook example of what
happens when you wait and don’t strike while the iron is hot. Waiting until Death Row was
burning to the ground in 1997 to release Lady of Rage’s debut is like if 50 Cent would’ve waited
until post-Curtis in 2007 to release Lloyd Banks’ solo debut. My Mount Rushmore of Female
MC’s: MC Lyte, Queen Latifah, Ladybug and Lady of Rage. Amil is definitely in Jay-Z’s female
Mount Rushmore.
The sample on this beat comes from a killer saxophone riff off “Superfluous” by
Eddie Harris. The beat also has a psychedelic haze to it. I say Doodlebug and Butterfly sound
similar and are close in skills but there’s songs like this where the difference is more
pronounced. Doodlebug mails in a verse and Butterfly come in with a laser focus. “Expressions,
sightings, scripting, taught/Finest status quo is being an artist in New York/Tongues be often
fought, clothes be often caught/If they call it a fad, we just ignore it, like its pork.” Butterfly has
a knack for taking common sayings and expressions and using them as a jump off point for an
interesting few bars: “They said the grass was greener so we snuck and hopped the fence/Landed
in a meadow, glimpsed and saw a shadow/Of brothers with guitars, common sense and puffy
afros.” How he goes from the starting point of those three bars to the end is magnificent.

“Time & Space (A New Refutation) – The album’s title is a reference to an essay by
Argentinian author Jorge Luis Borges. The “Reachin’” part pays homeage to the old Jazz albums
such as Art Blakey‘s Cookin and Miles Davis’ Smokin’, Walkin’, Relaxin’, Workin’ albums I
praised in my Jazz piece. They should’ve just titled the album Reachin’ but the trio has a

tendency for doing a little too much. They really wanted us to know they were into the whole
“space and time are conceptual and don’t actually exist” thing. Cool.
All the beats on the album are done by Butterfly who had the music pretty much set for
the debut, while their follow-up was more of a collaborative effort. This beat samples “Mamba
Bounce” by Sonny Rollins. The beat follows the album’s blueprint of chill, laidback beats you
can nod your head to. When someone says about a project “all the beats sound the same” we
think of that as a bad thing but here it is actually a good thing. The formula works for them so
there’s no reason to deviate from it. Sure, the beats are jazzy, but there’s enough funk in there to
make them pop. The three MC’s aren’t in a rush to get their rhymes off, they let the smooth beat
come to them which relaxes the listeners and puts them at ease.
There is a line referring to the late, great comedian Sam Kinison. Netflix recently added
his specials to streaming and I watched them for the first time and was amazed by how funny he
was and that I’d never seen a special of his before. Why had I seen all of Bill Hick’s stuff but
none of Sam Kinison’s? Call me stupid but when I hear Digable Planets namedrop
Sam Kinison it made me feel like there is larger things at play, too much of a coincidence, right?

“Psych-e-delic and fat/Flowers and beads and peaces and naps.” The peace-loving, hippy
Digable Planets are getting trippier by the track. The ending line is the best. “Ah yes, planets got
the blessed/Beats are played on Friday to get Monday off your chest.”

“Rebirth (Cook Like Dat)” – One of the most recognizable singles in the history of rap. This
single is to the Digable Planets what “The Choice is Yours” is to Black Sheep. Instead of being
cheapened by a rapping hamsters in a Kia commercial, this song gets cheapened by being
included in “Master of None” a series by Aziz Ansari who is not funny. There’s something
about Aziz Ansari thinking this song is “accessible yet cool” that really pisses me off.
This beat is actually from the group Dread Poets Society, a group Doodlebug was a
member of before joining Digable Planets. Side note: Dread Poets Society is an extremely corny
yet predictable name for a late 80’s/early 90’s rap group. Doodlebug’s former group didn’t care
that he wanted to use the track for his new group.
The sample is a monster, it’s taken from Art Blakey and the Jazz
Messengers’ “Stretchin.” The group gives the common line that they didn’t know they had a hit
and didn’t feel one way or another when the label chose the song as the first single. Usually, I
would call BS on that but in this particular case I believe them because this song doesn’t stand
out in comparison to the rest of the album. No doubt it’s a great song that deserves its elevated
status in the rap singles cannon, but at the same time, you could argue there’s six or seven songs
better than “Rebirth” on the album. Someone who woke up from a 26-year coma wouldn’t hear
this and be like oh, that’s a hit. The bass line (from the same Art Blakey song) must have
resonated deeply with listeners.

There are always larger factors at play when it comes to why singles get heavy airplay.
Rosie Perez chose the song for an episode of In Living Color and the group flew to LA in
January 1993 to record the episode. After the episode aired, the sales for the single went through
the roof and the radio started playing the song non-stop. The group’s album came out a month
later and the rest is history.
The group beat out Naughty by Nature, Arrested Development, Dre & Snoop, and
Cypress Hill to win the 1994 Grammy Award for best performance by a duo or group. The
decision caused some controversy at the time. KRS-One (surprise, surprise) was upset Digable
Planets won the award. Granted the Grammys was more reputable back then but why choose a
Grammy to get upset over? The wack part is I’m sure KRS would have been fine with Arrested
Development, who aren’t in the same league as Digable Planets, winning the award. Cypress Hill
is lame and I’m sure the whole country didn’t want to see them win. Naughty by Nature had an
argument for the best single but the song is so reliant on an Isley Brothers sample like Biggie’s
“Big Poppa” (released the following year). “Nothin’ But a G Thang” should’ve won the award
and is the best and most iconic song out of the bunch but Dre and Snoop losing is not a travesty.
Want to see a travesty? Look at the list of singles that were up for this same award the previous
year:
Beastie Boys: “Check Your Head”
House of Pain: “Jump Around” (Every Celtics fan favorite song)
Kris Kross: “Jump”
Arrested Development: “Tennessee” (won)
Digable Planets thought a song called “Brown Baby Funk” was going to be the single but
the song didn’t even make the album. The song sampled George Duke and he wanted a crazy
amount of money for the clearance so they just left it off. This reminded me of “Hard Like A
Criminal” being one of Das Efx’s best songs but being mysteriously left off of the duo’s
debut Dead Serious. At least “Hard Like A Criminal” exists on the internet, “Brown Baby Funk”
is nowhere to be found, release the track Butterfly, Loose Tracks Matter!
I saw this single referred to as a one-hit wonder. By definition that may be true, but when
I think of one-hit wonders I think of Vanilla Ice and J-Kwon, rappers who used a gimmick for
their single to become famous. There’s nothing gimmicky about Digable Planets and if you
release a classic album that plays all the way through you should not be considered a one-hit
wonder, that should be reserved for rappers that have albums with a popular single and filler
tracks no one wants to listen to. This is probably my nostalgia talking but my favorite rap one-hit
wonder is Cool Breeze’s “Watch for The Hook”.

“Last of the Spiddyocks” – The group avoids the common mistake of following their hit single
with a bland, low-tempo album cut. This track keeps the energy going high after the single. This

is actually the second Digable Planets song I ever heard. I’m embarrassed to say this now but for
a long time I was a fan of “Rebirth” even though I hadn’t heard any of their other songs. When I
bartended in Jersey City, I made a mix of golden age era rap songs that were classic but also
appropriate enough to play for hipsters who paid $9 for an IPA. Under those guidelines,
“Rebirth” was perfect, it was catchy and sure to not offend anyone. “The group is
too hipstery or backpacky to dig into further” I told myself which prevented me from digging
further into the group. Well one night in December, I had an urge to play “Rebirth” and I
couldn’t find the playlist I made so I just went directly to the album and played “Rebirth” while I
smoked out of my gravity bong. I was high so of course I forgot to change the album once the
song was over. This song came on and I found myself really digging it, something about it
happening unconsciously made it feel extra special. “Are all these songs this good?!” I asked
myself and spent the next week listening to the album over and over and wondering why I hadn’t
given the album a shot earlier.
Like I said earlier, there were rap groups by De La Soul and Tribe that were jazz
sounding but rarely did they ever name drop any jazz artists in their tracks. My jaw kept
dropping lower and lower after every Jazz reference in this song. “These guys love the same
guys I do!” I said excitingly to myself. When Butterfly rapped “I felt like Bird Parker when I
shot it in my vein/I toss these major losses on Mingus jazzy strum,” I felt a shot of adrenaline
going through my body. “This guy gets me” I thought in my head. Butterfly wished he was from
an earlier era like me. Butterfly goes on to mourn the loss of Bud Powell, Dizzy Gillespie and
Hank Mobley, as well as giving a shout out to The Cooker album by Lee Morgan which is very
underrated.
It’s not just the guys, Ladybug drops a bunch of jazz gems in her verse. “Dolphy’s
archetype for cool dudes/Or better still Trane usin’ Afro Blue.” That’s a great line but her best
jazz line of the album is, “My baby loves to kiss when Ornette just lays out.” Amazing. Dear
lord, please bless me with a woman who wants to hook up to Ornette Coleman! She also makes
a references to Thelonious Monk, Max Roach and (personal favorite) Philly Joe Jones. I
wouldn’t even know where to start looking if I wanted to find a woman that really knows old
school jazz. What up tho, Ladybug?
According to Butterfly, the term Spiddyock came from his dad’s era and was used to
describe a real jazzhead person: “You dressed a certain way and listened to a certain type of
music. It was just a type of socialite.” So Spiddyock’s were basically the coolest guys in the
world? I am leading a one-man charge to bring Spiddyock’s back into American vernacular and
will hereby refer to myself as a Spiddyock.
Butterfly’s father also had jazz connections. In Living Color took the group to another
level of game but it was the jazz clubs (remember those?) like Giant Step that played the group’s
records and provided them with the street buzz necessary to end up on the radar of TV shows and
radio stations. Butterfly’s father would visit the group in the studio and bring in famous jazz cats
who would sit, listen and chop it up with the trio. I wonder what Tekashi69’s favorite jazz
musician is.

“Jimmi Diggin’ Cats” – Butterfly: “Yo, everybody’s goin retro, right? And I was thinking if the
60’s and 70’s were now. Isaac Hayes would have his own 900 number.”
Mecca: “I know, and MC Hammer woulda been a pimp, right?”
Butterfly: “Word, and Jimmi woulda dug us right?”
The acid has officially been dropped, I repeat the acid has officially been dropped!
Instead of pining to live in a previous generation, the group imagines what icons of the 60’s and
70’s would do now if they were around in the early 90’s hip-hop climate. The Isaac Hayes line
isn’t funny but foreshadows Hayes becoming the voice actor for Chef on South Park. The MC
Hammer line is not only low-hanging fruit but doesn’t make sense. The logic is supposed to be
MC Hammer is a radio sellout that gets pimped out to do KFC and Taco Bell commercials. So
why would he be the one doing the pimping? Plus, MC Hammer is the only artist mentioned
from the current era, how does he apply? Also, why assume Jimi Hendrix would like Digable
Planets or any rap for that matter? Hendrix was a student of southern blues and a big Bob Dylan
fan, it’s presumptuous to assume he would like rap. Jim Morrison may not look like he’d be a rap
fan, but he had the soul of an MC more than Jimi Hendrix did. I’m sure Jim Morrison rolled over
in his grave when he heard “Five to One” being sampled for “Takeover”.
The song uses “Summer Madness” by the Kool & The Gang for the eighth great beat in a
row. The group’s sound is so smooth, all three rappers know this and are careful not to overstep
boundaries and bring an energy that is too hyped. Don’t get it twisted, the group is not boring.
They are smart, know their lane and are masters of their craft. The group fully understands the
concept of an album, how a concept is supposed to prevail through a project and how one track is
supposed to seamlessly lead into the next.
The group is really obsessed with Jimi Hendrix. They couldn’t clear the sample to use his
actual voice and it sounds like they used an actor pretending to be Jimi Hendrix. The fake Jimi
Hendrix applauds Digable Planets for being groovy cats and paying respect to the masters. More
outtakes from their LSD-fueled rant on retro icons being around in the early 90’s:
Butterfly: Yo The Black Panthers woulda had their own cartoon, right?
Ladybug: I know and 8-track Walkmans, right?
Doodlebug: True, The Jackson Five would’ve had dreads
Ladybug: Word my man Tito would look fly right?
Butterfly: Word and Jimmi would’ve dug Dig Planets forreal, word.

The Black Panthers would’ve made a great cartoon? Are you serious? Sounds like the
most depressing cartoon of all time.

Black mom in 1969: Son, tell me what happened in “Super Panthers” this week
Black child in 1969: Mommy, Huey Newton got arrested and charged with killing a police
officer and then Edgar Hoover said the Super Panthers are the greatest threat to the country!
Black mom in 1969: That’s just fine, Sonny. Now tell me what’s next week’s show going to be
about.
Black child in 1969: The Chicago police kill Fred Hampton while he sleeps next to his pregnant
fiancé!
8-Track Walkman line didn’t age well but makes more sense than a Black Panthers
cartoon. I’m almost positive Joe Jackson would not have let his sons wear dreads had the
Jackson 5 been around in 1991. I am even more positive that there is no situation where Tito
Jackson could look fly.

“La Femme Fatal” – The group finally crossed the limits and are too conscious on this song. I
should say Butterfly crosses the line because he is the only one on the song. He isn’t rapping on
the song: the track is an homage to the spoken word artists of yesteryear like Gil Scott-Heron and
our guy Lightning Rod. The track is Doodlebug doing a bad impression of The Last Poets. The
song messes up the flow of the album and has the most underwhelming beat on the project.
Butterfly is obviously a very smart dude but comes across as a 90’s version of someone
who has recently seen a bunch of Illuminati videos on YouTube. Which makes sense considering
he was in his mid 20’s at the time which is the perfect age to get into that stuff. The whole song
is one long pro-life argument: considering there’s a female in the group it’s a strange corner
for Butterfly to own. Butterfly points out the hypocrisy of men making the abortion laws but fails
to realize the irony of him (a man) saying that. Sure, have an opinion but why make a song about
a situation that would never happen to you? “They don’t really give a damn about life/They
just don‘t want a woman to control her body/or have the right to choose.”

“Escapism (Gettin’ Free)” – The song and beat gets my award for “song that bumps the most
in the car.” The beat has bounce to it without sounding heavy. More than any other track on this
album, the beat makes you want to get up and start doing the Deion Sanders touchdown dance.
The beat speeds up the drums from “Lillies of the Nile” by The Crusaders and takes the
often sampled “Watermelon Man” by Herbie Hancock and puts it on steroids. It’s just a fun
sounding beat that you never tire of listening to. All the members sound great over it, especially
Ladybug who gets busy in a span of 8 bars. Ladybug pays homage to the God MC by lifting the
“I came in the door, I said it before” from Eric B. & Rakim’s “Eric B for President.”

“Appointment at the Fat Clinic” – Who’s ready for more communist raps?! Butterfly’s first
verse ruins multiple great jazz lines by referring to his dad’s friends as “Chairman Mao’s
Comrades.” In Butterfly’s closing 8 bar verse he invites the listener to “read a little Marx.” How
many copies of the Communist Manifesto do you think Butterfly owns?
Ladybug comes on the track and gives us 8 solid bars before leading the way for
Doodlebug to give us a spoken word verse on the current state of jazz. As a self-appointed
“spiddyock,” I literally have no idea what the hell he is talking about here:
“Jazz, in the last 5 years has progressed in its fits
And starts of sudden discoveries and startled reactions.
New principles, new sounds
New rhythms and harmonies have been advanced with unusual frequency
Not surprisingly, many of the younger musicians have been quietly digesting
This information almost as quickly as it has appeared
As a result, they’ve acquired a degree of
Musical sophistication which supersedes many of the previous standards of excellence
So it’s no longer especially relevant to ask the young saxophone player
For example, to demonstrate his ability by running through all the Charlie Parker licks”
The acid must really be hitting if Doodlebug thinks jazz progressed from 1987-1992.
New principles, sounds, rhythms and harmonies have been advanced?! Please Doodlebug, tell
me what early 90’s jazz masterpieces have I been missing out on. Matter of fact, just name one
jazz album from that stretch that is on par with the classics. Doodlebug telling young saxophone
players to steer clear of proving yourself by playing the Godfather of the Saxophone’s licks is
hilarious and dumb.

“Nickel Bags” – Butterfly’s Ice-T influence is evident here as he uses music as a metaphor for
selling drugs. Selling “Nickel bags of funk” is similar to Ice-T on his hit single “I’m Your
Pusher.” “Nickel Bags” was the group’s second single from the album and unlike “I’m Your
Pusher” the single cover doesn’t feature Darlene Ortiz in a dental floss bikini. I had no idea this
song was a single until I did my research, there was nothing about the song that struck me as
mainstream or radio friendly. At this point in the album, there are no surprises. You’re getting
the same formula: three MC’s with buttery flows over a laid back, smooth jazz sample. This is
not meant as a knock, it’s an accomplishment to be able to stick to the same formula song after

song and the listener not only doesn’t tire of it but keeps coming back for more. Of all the
albums I’ve reviewed, this one took me the longest to get tired of. Part of that is because I had no
previous relationship to the album but the point remains: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Alas, Digable Planets couldn’t resist fixing their perfect formula. The group ended up
overthinking it and became more conscious and backpack rapper-y on their follow-up
album Blowout Comb. The group abandoned their radio-friendly style for a stripped down sound
inspired by albums the group listened to while on their world tour. I respect what they were
trying to do but sometimes an artist bites off more than they can chew. I’m all for artists
progressing and trying new things. Miles Davis is my favorite musical artist and he’s the king of
innovation and creating new styles. I get what they were trying to do but for me it just didn’t
work. I’ve only listened to the album once so I can’t have any concrete takes on it but one thing I
know is the first time I listened to Reachin’ from start to finish I was blown away and couldn’t
wait to listen to it more and lose myself in that world. I had no such desires after listening
to Blowout Comb, there are some solid tracks and some of the sounds are interesting but
personally it doesn’t come close to grabbing me by the collar which is what I want music to do:
good music is supposed to garner a reaction out of you and Blowout Comb left me dry after the
first spin. For what it’s worth, Blowout Comb is critically more successful than Reachin’ but that
strikes me as a case of music journalists trying to sound smart by appreciating something more
musically abstract. Put those loser music journalists on truth serum and I bet they don’t actually
like Blowout Comb more. At the very least, Reachin’ is much more re-listenable.

“Swoon Units” – One final banger for the album. The track takes the Saxophone from Earth,
Wind & Fire’s “They Don’t See” and marries it with Gylan Kain’s “Black Satin Amazon Fire
Engine Cry Baby” to make for an unlikely yet strong couple.
Butterfly got the saying “Swoon Units” from women he worked with in a kitchen at
Reading Terminal (yikes) and every time a good-looking guy would pass by they would yell
“Swoon Units!” Butterfly and Doodlebug adopted the saying and would use it for hot girls they
passed in the street. Butterfly has two very strong verses but Doodlebug’s 8 bar verse steals the
show: he hovers over the beat as the verse ends, right when you’re gearing up for more.
Ladybug is saying “Swoon Units!” on the hook but doesn’t have a verse on the song.
Prior to joining Digable Planets, Ladybug and Doodlebug were a couple. According to
Doodlebug in Brian Coleman’s book Check the Technique they “remained friends but decided to
not go out. That was one of the smartest things we ever did, considering how popular we got. If
we hadn’t done that, we would have hated each other!” Translation: if had we stayed a couple I
would have cheated on her as soon as we got famous and she would’ve hated me and that
would’ve broken up the group. When I found this out, I was fascinated by their dynamic. In the
beginning, did they continue to occasionally hook up on lonely nights on the road? Did Ladybug
secretly resent all the female groupies that were after Doodlebug? When they were a couple,
would their pillow talk be exchanging bars? Did Butterfly ever get caught in the middle of a
domestic dispute? Can a dope 16 turn somebody on? Were Ladybug and Doodlebug
rap’s Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm? There’s lot of questions I need answers for. I can’t

remember a situation where a female and male MC in the same group dated. Usually it’s a
Biggie/Lil’ Kim situation where the male rapper’s elevated status gives him the upper hand.
Here, it’s different because Ladybug and Doodlebug are on a similar playing field as far as MC
skills go. Don’t be surprised if I write a fictional TV show about a hip-hop couple based off my
weird fascination with Ladybug and Doodlebug going out.

“Examinatin of What” – The album’s last track starts with:
“One day while I was sipping some groove juice I realized/That in the span of time we’re just
babies…It’s all relative, time is unreal…we’re just babies, we’re just babies, man…”
The acid is officially peaking. I repeat the acid is officially peaking! If you weren’t
convinced the group was doing LSD before, that intro will convince you. If that isn’t enough,
Butterfly’s last “verse” will:
“Cause Butterfly is…baby, I’m just a baby, man
I’m a baby, I’m just a baby, man
And Mr. Doodle? (I’m just a baby too)
And Miss Mecca (I’m just a baby, man)”
Butterfly goes on to shout everyone out and call them all babies because thinking time is
unreal and adults are babies are thoughts that occur when you’re knee deep in an acid trip. All
jokes aside, the beat for this song is really simple but really good. The instrumental consists of
only The Crusaders’ song “Listen and You’ll See” sped way up. The keyboards on the track fit
perfect with the rhyming patters of Butterfly. The group and this album were born from Butterfly
so it makes sense and is fair that he has three verses on the last song on the album. Well, the last
verse isn’t actually a verse, it’s just him calling everyone he knows a baby because he’s high out
of his mind and can’t come up with anymore rhymes. The first two verses are two of the stronger
of the albums. On the first verse: “Life, it comes and goes and you do not punch a clock/I don’t
take shit for granted, I think of Scott La Rock.” On Butterfly’s second verse we get one last jazz
reference: “My father taught me jazz, all the people and the anthems/Ate peanuts with
the Diz and vibed with Lionel Hampton.” Can you imagine being in a smokey jazz club,
throwing peanut shells on the ground and chopping it up with Dizzy Gillespie?
Ladybug commits a party foul in her two-line spoken word part: “What is really what if I
can’t get comfortable because the Supreme Court is like, all up in my uterus.” Whoa! Holy
imagery Ladybug, chill out! Could you think of a more tactful way to let me know where you
stand on Abortion Rights? The Digable Planets are obsessed with: Communism, jazz and being
pro-choice!
The woke-ness and missteps are few and far between on this classic. Reachin’ is a top 50
rap album of all-time. It’s been awhile since I’ve listened to 3 Feet High and Rising and the first
three Tribe albums but based off memories this is right there with all four of those albums. It’s a
step above Black Sheep but not quite on the level of A Trible Called Quest at their absolute apex.

Before we leave, let’s see how Reachin’ stacks up against other rap albums released in 1993, one
of the best years in rap history.

Albums released in 1993 that are better than Reachin’:
Snoop Dogg – Doggystyle
Wu-Tang Clan- Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
2Pac – Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z.

Albums released in 1993 on the same level as Reachin’:
A Tribe Called Quest – Midnight Marauders
Black Moon – Enta Da Stage
Oynx – Bacdafucup

Albums released in 1993 that are one level below Reachin’:
KRS-One – Return of the Boom Bap
Lords of the Underground – Here Come the Lords
8Ball and MJG – Comin’ Out Hard
De La Soul – Buhloone Mindstate
Freestyle Fellowship – Innercity Griots
Naughty by Nature – 19 Naughty III
Brand Nubian – In God We Trust
Eazy-E – It’s On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa
Masta Ace – Slaughtahouse

Albums from 1993 that are good and deserve mention:
Spice 1 – 187 He Wrote
Tha Alkaholiks – 21 & Over
Del the Funky Homosapien – No Need for Alarm
The Roots – Organix
Too $hort – Get In Where You Fit In
Big Daddy Kane – Looks Like A Job For…
Fat Joe – Repersent
King Tee – Tha Trifilin’ Album
E-40 – Federal
Mac Dre – Young Black Brotha
Mobb Deep – Juvenile Hell
Queen Latifah – Black Reign

Filed Under: Featured, Reviews, Sub Features Tagged With: 90's Hip-Hop, Butterfly, Digable Planets, Doodlebug, East Coast Hip-Hop, Golden Age Hip-Hop, Jazz, Jazz-Hop, Ladybug Mecca, Reachin'

2006 Revisited: Hip Hop & Prison

February 10, 2019 by Rob Parkour Leave a Comment

2006 Revisited: Hip-Hop and Prison

By Rob Parkour

Spin back with me to Fall 2006 in hip-hop. The butts were smaller and the clothes were
baggier. Rick Ross had just released his debut album, Jay-Z was slated to release his comeback
album, and Beyonce’s fans hadn’t turned into a disturbing cult. People still bought CDs and fans
used Soundscan numbers to prove their point. This is before the days of people stalking
celebrities’ babies online. Saigon and Papoose were the next heirs to the throne and Autotune
was only used by T-Pain. Rap hadn’t become ubiquitous yet and rappers, you know, rapped.
These were better times.

Jail

In July 2006, I was arrested and charged with 2 nd degree Felony Distribution of
Cocaine charges. This happened weeks after turning 18 and graduating from Ridge High School
in suburban New Jersey. I did not have enough for bail and spent my first summer as an adult in
jail. I was the youngest person in the entire jail, and a room of black men in their mid to late
20’s took me under their wing, showed me right from wrong, and taught me the perils of jail. I
was introduced to these men by Steve, an older man who I had shared a room during the first 48
hours you spend in Medical before going to population. Steve saw I needed a group of like-
minded friends who could distract me from the years of time hanging over my head. When Steve
walked me up to a metal table where my future friends were playing Monopoly, I stood on the
outset nervously as Steve walked back to his room; he wanted me to introduce myself without
his help. These five black men were sitting on the table conversating back and forth and were

clearly the coolest guys in the entire pod. Similar to how you can walk into a high school
cafeteria and know who the popular kids are, you can tell off the bat who runs shit in jail.

I stood there anxiously waiting for my opening: sports and music are my go-to
conversation starters and the guys were talking about their respective hoods. T-Mac was talking
about Jamaica Queens, and I found my opening.

“Jamaica Queens? Like where G-Unit is from?” I was utterly obsessed with G-Unit
back then.

“Fuck that snitch, bitch ass nigga 50! Its Dipset all day!” G, the alpha of the group,
proclaimed. Just like that we started playing Monopoly and chopping it up and laughing.
The conversation continued with no lag and lasted until we were forced to go to our rooms for
dinner. The next part of the story I will copy and paste from my forthcoming memoir on my
time in the system:

Steve pushed me like a father telling a child to play, to room 3030 upstairs. That’s where
the guys lived. I nervously walked up to their room and stood in front, wondering if I should ask
to come in or just walk in. They were in a heated debate about who was to blame for the whole
Jay-Z/Dame Dash/Cam’ron beef. G was defending Cam’ron at the top of his lungs, while T-Mac
took the side of the legend Jay-Z. Country noticed me awkwardly standing, and ordered me to
come in and join the banter.

The rest of the guys were too heated in debate to acknowledge my appearance. I sat back
and listened to them go back and forth, waiting for my time to interject. “Well, it’d be one thing
if Cam’ron dissed Hov when he was hot, but he’s been puttin’ out some bullshit. I

mean Killa Season? Seriously, G? Dude fell off ever since Diplomatic Immunity 2,” I said,
putting my two cents in.

“Rob, I fuck with you already, but I can tell this is a debate that will never end. How the
fuck you gonna say Killa Season, Cam’ron’s last album, wasn’t hot?” And just like that the boys
and I embarked on a brotherhood that no man could come between. G explained to me that
rappers like 50 Cent and Jay-Z didn’t have any street cred. I was a bit perplexed by this.

“So, wait. You care more about a rapper’s street cred than the quality of their music?” I
asked.

“No, that ain’t what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that when someone’s a snitch like 50,
the hood ain’t gonna fuck with him. Would you listen to the faggot that snitched on you
if he made good music?” G said, countering with an excellent point.

“Hmmm, that’s a good point. I never thought about it like that,” I said, admitting I might
have been wrong on this one.

“Yeah, we’ve been conditioned our whole life to despise and completely distance
ourselves from anyone who snitches, and that nigga 50 is a rat, plain and simple.” This was
when I realized that I had a very different relationship with hip-hop than my new friends. I
certainly loved hip-hop. I was into the mixtape scene. I would download all the unreleased
songs, new mixtapes, and freestyles as soon as they came out.

Generally speaking, I was judging songs largely based on the swagger of the artist, the
beat, and how the rapper flowed over the beat. Everyone else in the room had a much

deeper, intimate relationship with hip-hop. They connected to the pain and the struggle that up-
and-coming artists rapped about. Hip-hop was rooted deeply in their culture. I was merely
observing their world when I listened to hip-hop. When they listened, they were hearing
observations of the world around them.

T-Mac interrupted G’s pro-Cam’ron rant to remind everyone that Jay-Z did in fact go on
record and diss Cam’ron on the remix of new artist Rick Ross’s mega-hit “Hustlin.” “We
don’t resort to violence. We resort to islands. Oh, shit!” T-Mac smiled from ear to ear,
reminiscing. “I remember bumpin’ that shit the day it came out with the windows down, wearing
the crispiest all-white outfit. Man, listen. Niggas in the street didn’t even know what to think.”
Hip-hop was so intertwined with their experiences that it served as a timeline for their lives.

The six hours between dinner and lights out that I spent with my new friends felt like six
minutes.

I was pleasantly surprised the entire room embraced me with open arms. They were as
shocked by my knowledge of hip-hop mixtapes as they were by my charges that didn’t fit my
appearance. Shortly after that night, I moved into their room and the music debates never ended.
I was a fan of the glossy gangsta rap of G-Unit/Game while G and the rest of 3030 preferred the
realism of Dipset’s street raps. 50 Cent being exposed as a snitch didn’t matter to a white kid
living in Basking Ridge but held larger implications for people who had a more intimate
relationship with hip-hop.Me trying to convince G that 50 Cent was fire was like Skip Bayless
trying to convince Stephen A. Smith every morning that Tim Tebow was good.

“Man, I don’t care how good 50’s music is, he’s a snitch and in the streets and you don’t
fuck with a snitch, PERIOD.”

“But have you heard Hustler’s Ambition, yo?”

It seemed like G and I had a form of this conversation daily. Unfortunately, we were in
County Jail so we couldn’t listen to music, only debate it. This made our music debates more
interesting and passionate, but going a whole summer without any music is soul depriving. I
remember nodding my head to G singing the hook to Biggie’s “You’re Nobody ‘Till Somebody
Kills You” and being horrified that he thought BIG was a better rapper than Pac.

The Program

In the fall, to shorten my overall time, I transferred to a program that allowed slightly
more freedoms but was a much darker experience. Long gone were my mature cellmates who
had my back. Instead, I was locked up with 16-20-year-olds from the inner city that had nothing
to lose. In jail, I could sleep all day and eat food from commissary whenever I pleased. In the
program, you had to be up at 6 am, clean and stand in line on demand, eat when and what they
gave you, and could only be in your room from 10:00 PM-6AM; the rest of the day you were at
the disposal of the staff. The only good parts were that our families could send us clothes to
wear and there would be music.

Disclaimer: I am referring to all the young men in the program as kids, not as a sign of
disrespect, but because that’s what we all were at the time and it’s easier to say ‘kid’ then type
young man every time. I remember me and a young Puerto Rican kid named Alan were waiting

in the lobby on our first day, eating Tuna sandwiches and waiting to get admitted to our new
home. Alan was wearing Jean Shorts 6 sizes too big that ended right above his ankle and a 3XL
white T-Shirt that said “What’s Really Good?” in purple font with a huge Dipset logo on the
back.

“Do you like G-Unit?”

Alan scrunched his eyebrows and shot me a cold star as if I asked for his tray. “I like the
LOX”. Alrighty then…

My first night in the program was visitation night and any kid who didn’t have any
visitors was allowed to hang out in the back room, play ping pong and listen to music. “Ten
Hut” by Sheek Louch ft. Jadakiss was the first song I heard since my freedom was stripped.
When Jadakiss rapped “the white tee is 4x cuz I be tuckin’ the gat” I felt a shot of adrenalin
similar to a junkie having his first hit in a long time.

Omavis & Timbs

For context, I’ll paint a picture of the mid 00’s for perspective of the people I shared the
next year of my life with. My unit in the program consisted of about 30 kids that ranged from
the ages of 16-20 and came from as far south as Camden to as far north as Jersey City. The
majority were from the Newark area. Kids cycled in and out and there were usually two other
white guys besides me. The other white kids didn’t share interests with the black kids so their
interactions were limited compared to mine. Insecure, scared and wanting to fit in, I tried my
best to assimilate myself with the young gangsters from Newark like I had in Jail with my OG’s.

Unlike my brothers in Jail, these kids had no interest in making me feel at home and resented me
from the first day. This is how they looked at it: “We share the same space but we were forced
into the revolving door of the system because we lacked the structure and opportunity that
you clearly wasted since you’re in no better position than us.” The fact that I was trying so hard
to fit in made me that much easier of a target: they could see the fear and desire for acceptance in
my eyes.

“You weren’t a drug dealer you were a cokehead! Look at your dirty kicks
and wack clothes, no way you were getting money!” In jail people looked at me like a
wunderkind who “got it”, in the program people called me a “gay, virgin cokehead.” “Gay,
Virgin Cokehead”, the latest single from Lil’ Xan!

Streetwear in the mid 00’s was more than a fashion statement. It was a status
symbol: dressing fresh meant you got money, if you didn’t dress in the latest gear you didn’t get
money, it was that simple. Back then, Omavi Jeans were the coolest jeans in the world, they were
extremely baggy, had straps and buttons that weren’t necessary and a brown tag in the back that
said “Den ‘Em Jenz”.My favorite Omavis were the lighter blue ones that faded into an even
lighter blue towards the center. It didn’t matter how skinny you were, you bought jeans that had
at least a 38-inch waist. Pepe Jeans, Savoors, Akademiks, LRG and Coogi Jeans were dope and
if you didn’t have a Miskeen Hoodie with the graffiti like print on the back you were doing it
wrong. Enyce, Ecko, Rocawear, Girbaud and Sean John were acceptable but a step down from
the aforementioned brands. All White Nike Air Force One’s were mandatory as were Timberland
Constructs in Butter or Black. Nike Shox weren’t lame, Gore Tex boots were the go-to winter
boot, Beef & Broc Timberlands were in, and wearing the current model of Jordans was still

cool. I remember my roommate from Camden, Ronny, showing me where he hid heroin in the
tongue of his Air Jordan 21’s. Retro sneakers were cool but there were less models and colors
out. OG Colorways of Bo Jacksons, Barkelys and Jordans dominated the retro sneaker scene.

If a kid had visit or a court date, he’d spend the whole morning picking out an outfit like
Kelly Kapowski on the first day of school. They would usually settle for a Black Label shirt with
skulls over a thermo, a fitted two sizes too big, Gore-Tex boots, puffy North Face jacket and very
baggy Omavi jeans.

When I lived in Atlanta from 99-02, I attended a middle school that participated in the
bussing program and my classes were half filled with kids from College Park. They
wore Fubu, Platinum Fubu, all white Reeboks, and more Fubu. The south is always years behind
New York as far as fashion and music goes. The kids I was locked up with would refer to the
Southern style of dressing as “country bandit.” I‘m unaware of the orgin of the phrase, but it’s a
great expression that I’m going to start using again.

I was completely out the loop of urban fashion from when I moved to the suburbs of New
Jersey in 2003 until Fall 2006. The kids from Newark would spend hundreds of their street
money on clothes and sneakers. That was radically different from my high school in the suburbs
of New Jersey: the idea of using your own money to buy clothes was ludicrous. My classmates
would simply tell their parents what they wanted from Hollister and their parents would buy it
for them. I lived with just my dad and we would go to the Polo or Nautica outlets a couple times
of year, spend a couple hundred dollars and those would be my clothes until the next year. In
high school, the clothes my friends wore didn’t matter, and they didn’t care or remark on the
clothes that I wore. We were always conversating but never about clothes. In high school, I loved

smoking pot more than I loved my family, so all of my money went to smoking as much weed as
possible. “You know what, let me not buy a quarter of weed and use that $100 on some
sneakers” is something my friends and I never would’ve said. The only reason I hustled drugs
was so I could smoke as much as I wanted and have enough left over to get some boneless
buffalo wings at Cluck-U Chicken.

You can’t tell the story of hip-hop in the mid-00’s without urban fashion and its impact
on the culture. If you dressed like a bum no one would respect your opinion about anything,
especially music. Nowadays, if you wear dirty sneakers and dress like a homeless person you’ll
be considered high-fashion and deep, your opinion will be valued more. In 2006, my opinion on
rap was null and void because a white kid in busted up Red Dunks couldn’t possibly be getting
money and know what’s up. Let me be clear about something before I move forward: I don’t
hold any type of grudge towards the kids for resenting me and giving me a hard time at first. In
their shoes, I would’ve treated me the same way. Those kids, who are now men, were the
coolest kids I had ever met and I wanted to be just like them. I’m grateful that they toughened
me up, I wouldn’t trade my experiences with that group of young men for anything, it made me
the man I am today. They’ll never know how much they shaped me, and it would be a thrill to
see any of them again.

Radio

Back to the music. The gray stereo our unit had was one of those early 00’s boom boxes
that had a CD, tape player and radio all in one. The stereo was only supposed to be pulled out
during visits, detailing our rooms on Saturday, holidays and special occasions. The TV had a

DVD player that we would occasionally use to play CD’s if the counselor’s overseeing us were
in a good mood. Families would bring their kids mixtapes during visits and the kids would
smuggle them back into their rooms.

Each bedroom contained three bunk beds which made a total of six juveniles in one
room. One of my roommates was a Crip from Elizabeth nicknamed Loose. Loose had the
cockiness of a prize fighter and had already been through one stretch at the program so he had
connections and walked around like he owned the place. The nighttime staff would often let him
take the radio late at night. The other kids in the room would tell war stories about their hoods
and gangs while Hot 97 played in the background. I would lay in silence and picture in my head
the stories I was hearing that seemed to come straight from the urban fiction novels I read in jail.
I remember one fun night, we snuck the radio into our room without permission and stayed up
until 5 in the morning laughing, listening to music, and shooting the shit. We woke up an hour
later feeling like complete shit. Unlike my roommates, I didn’t have the balls to come up with a
sick excuse to stay in bed so I charged ahead on one hour of sleep in one of the longest days of
my life.

Loose would crack open the door after they did head count and do whatever
the hell he did to get the stereo. In the beginning, it seemed like we had the radio every night.
They say smells ignite your memory more than anything else but I disagree. I think music can
transform you back to a time, place and feeling quicker than anything else.

The rap on the radio at the time was beginning to favor gimmicks over substance.
“It’s Goin’ Down” by Yung Joc spawned a Soulja boy-esque dance. “Snap Yo Fingers” by Lil
Jon, “LaffyTaffy” by D4L and “Walk It Out” by Unk were all equally catchy and mindless. At

least “Walk It Out” provided us with a worthwhile remix featuring Jim Jones and one of the last
great Andre 3000 verses. Jim Jones and Andre 3000 were featured on another remix together that
fall, this time combining forces on Rich Boy’s “Throw Some D’s” Remix, another 2006 radio
hit. The remix also features Murphy Lee, Nelly and Game who sounds incredible on it.

In late 2006, there was no shortage of finger snapping, sing-along southern rap singles.
Instead of the previous three songs, I could’ve used “A Bay Bay” by Hurricane Chris, “Chain
Hang Low” by Chibbs, “Pop, Lock & Drop It” by Huey and “Chicken Noodle Soup”
by Webstar, all of which followed a similar formula and got heavy airplay that year. “Chicken
Noodle Soup” provided America with an amazing dance that the kids would mock when the
song played on the radio. I didn’t realize until today that the guy (DJ Webstar) who made
“Chicken Noodle Soup” is the same person who made “Dancin’ On Me.” “Party Like a
Rockstar” isn’t made with the same formula but seems related to all these tracks. We all knew
some lame person who had “Party Like a Rockstar” as their ringtone in 2007.

“This Is Why I’m Hot” by Mims followed the gimmick formula and skyrocketed from
#32 on the Billboard Charts to #1 in one week, the third largest single week jump in music
history. For years Alex Rodriguez used this song as a batter box’s approach music, did anyone in
his camp tell him corny that was? I suppose part of A-Rod’s charm is his complete lack of self-
awareness.

“Make it Rain” by Fat Joe featuring Lil’ Wayne was on the radio all the time which
I approved of. I love this beat which was made by our guy Scott Storch before his infamous coke
binge. Is it a coincidence that Scott Storch made full albums with Paris Hilton and Brooke Hogan
the same year his drug addiction spiraled out of control? I would love to make a movie based on

Scott Storch’s epic yearlong coke debauchery. Check out this quote from his manager: “It was
just a wonderful year, but I think it was defined by the magic month of August.” The magic
month of August? What the hell happened in August?! Seriously, who wouldn’t watch a movie
about a rap producer going through $70 million worth of coke in less than a year? Scott, contact
me and we can make “Magic Month of August: The Scott Storch Coke Binge” a hit!

Fall 2006 had many high-profile album releases and most of them disappointed. Let’s
look into them one by one.

Fall 2006 Rap Releases

September 19th – Lupe Fiasco – Food &Liquor: Lupe Fiasco got mad love from the backpack
rap community and the radio with the breakout singles “Kick Push” and “Daydreamin.” One of
the weekend staff members used to try to get the kids into this album and they’d immediately
take it out the CD player like a child throwing away his vegetables. Does anyone listen to Lupe
in 2019?

October 10th – Lloyd Banks – Rotten Apple: I have a personal story with this album later in the
piece. The music on this album is very disappointing. In 2006, Lloyd Banks was the boy wonder
of rap, the punchline and mixtape king that was everyone’s favorite rapper at one point. Lloyd
Banks had the most street cred of the group during a time where it was becoming less cool to like
G-Unit. Fans should have realized the album was going to be a disappointment when the first
single “Cake” failed to pick up any steam as did the follow up single “Hands Up.” Both singles
had released before I became locked up and I remember talking myself into them being decent

but deep down knowing it was a bad sign for Banks’ sophomore album. The second single
“Help” featuring a young Keri Hilson is actually really good and a good example of a 00’s R&B
featured rap single done right: hearing it come on the radio was always nice but sadly it is
one of the better tracks on the album. The feature list is very impressive and includes legends
Rakim, Prodigy, Scarface and 8Ball, as well as the usual suspects of Buck, Yayo & 50. The star-
studded supporting cast isn’t enough to overcome the lackluster production; it’s hard to believe
50, who has such a good ear for beats, approved any of these. Banks doesn’t need chipmunk
sounding, sample heavy beats necessarily but you don’t do him any favors by giving
him grimy, low energy “street” beats.

October 17th – Diddy – Press Play: Diddy’s first album in five years came out is him trying to
jack Timbaland’s sound. Seriously, listen to “Last Night” and “Tell Me” and tell me both of
those singles don’t sound like bootleg versions of Timbaland’s Keri Hilson featured single “The
Way I Are.” This album is so bad it makes Diddy’s follow-up, 2010’s Last Train to Paris,
seem great in comparison. Similar to Aerosmith’s 2001 album Just Push Play, Diddy’s Press
Play instructs you to do something no sane person would do.

October 31st – Birdman & Lil’ Wayne – Like Father, Like Son: “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy”
was all over the radio that fall and winter and has become an underrated single over the years. In
fact, this whole album is underrated. You are getting prime Lil’ Wayne and Birdman may not be
the best MC but he has a good voice, solid flow, and doesn’t take much if anything off the table.
It’s not like Birdman comes on and you want to skip the song. “You Ain’t Know” and “Leather
So Soft” are also solid singles. “Army Gunz” and the cult classic Pimp C sampled “1st Key” are
just two examples of the many great album cuts. Scott Storch removed himself from a mountain

of cocaine to produce “You Ain’t Know,” but the majority of the album is produced by former
8Ball & MJG producer T-Mix who gives the album a fun bounce that matches the subject matter.
“Neighborhood Superstar” is a bonus track and one of my favorite songs. “Wait, one of your
favorite songs is a solo Birdman song that’s on the bonus disc of a Lil’ Wayne & Birdman
collaboration album?” How many white people have had sex to “Neighborhood Superstar”?
This is getting weird, let’s just move on.

November 7th – Jim Jones – Hustler’s P.O.M.E. (Product of My Environment): “We Fly High”
became a mega hit that fall that crossed over to mainstream society. G sent me a letter in the
program telling me his Giants were doing the “Fadeaway” Ballin’ dance as a sack celebration. In
the midst of his comeback/beef with Cam, Jay-Z dropped a remix where he yelled “Brooklyn!”
instead of “Ballin!” which was as cringeworthy as it sounds. I remembered lying in my bunk
hearing Juelz Santana and Jim Jones freestyle over the beat in retaliation and wondering how
many other artists were rapping over the amazing “We Fly High” beat. All these songs I talk
about spin me back to my time being locked up but “We Fly High” was everywhere at the time,
you couldn’t escape it. “Reppin’ Time” was also on the radio and was a good single but the
album cuts that don’t feature Max B are on the weak side. It’s entirely possible, even likely, that
Jim Jones was making way too much music during this time. This album is a clear drop-off from
Jim Jones debut and a step down from the previous year’s Harlem: Diary of a Summer.

November 14th – The Game – Doctor’s Advocate: This album, even more than Jay-Z’s
comeback album, was the album I was most curious to listen to. Game’s debut The
Documentary was a very important album to my friends and I. If you didn’t listen to Game

with me in 2005 then you didn’t know me back then, my friends and I listened to that album with
everyone like we were trying to get Game signed. “Have you heard ‘Church for Thugs’, yo?”

The Game’s run from ‘04-’05 is one of the most prolific in history. His flow, voice and
command were all A+’s; every single Game verse from that period was fire even if it was over a
weak beat. It was clear from his early 2006 work that he was still scarred and hurt from the G-
Unit fallout. G-Unit beef aside, Game’s flow was still tight and his single “One Blood” was a
banger, it seemed that his inevitable Sophomore slump would be small. Wrong. The album is a
big drop off from Game’s previous work. You know how you can see someone for the first time
in a while and they look and sound the same but you can just feel something is off? That’s
what Doctor’s Advocate is: from a distance it seems like the same ol’ Game but any true fan can
tell you it lacks the energy that made The Documentary irresistible. Whether you liked it or
not The Documentary went under your skin, Game made you feel his wrath. Doctor’s
Advocate comes up flat in that regard, it doesn’t make you feel anything which is a death
sentence in hip-hop. Game’s Dr. Dre complex becomes even weirder on a project named after
Dre that doesn’t feature Dr. Dre’s “protege” rapping over his beats.

“Wouldn’t Get Far” was on the radio a lot that fall but doesn’t sound nearly as
good as Game rapping over a soul sounding Kanye beat should be. The numerous “One Blood”
remixes were a better listen than the rest of the singles. “Is that Ja Rule on the One Blood
Remix?!” I said to myself lying in the bunk with my eyes closed.

It’s painfully obvious Game misses and needs 50’s songwriting skills. Doctor’s
Advocate is a textbook example of the “second novel syndrome,” which makes it that much more
confusing that the majority of music journalists, including one of the best Jeff Weiss, claim it’s a

great album that’s an improvement over The Documentary. Right, why would anyone want to
listen to actual Dr. Dre beats when you can listen to the bootleg Dre beats by people not named
Dr. Dre?

November 21 st – Snoop Dogg – Tha Blue Carpet Treatment: I included this album because I
wanted to talk about “Sexual Seduction”, the catchy auto-tuned R&B style track that played on
the radio all winter. It turns out that single is from his 2008 album Ego Trippin’. I can’t find any
evidence to support my claim that this single was on the radio in winter 2006 all the time, just
take my word for it. The radio would sometimes play “I Wanna Love You” featuring Akon and
“Sexual Seduction” back to back. “Sexual Seduction” charted on Billboard in 2008 but that
doesn’t mean it wasn’t around in 2006, it’s possible Snoop Dogg had too many singles and
figured he should save one for his next album. “That’s That Shit” featuring R. Kelly which is on
this album was also on the radio a ton also but it seemed “Sexual Seduction” was on the radio
even more. I’m chalking it up to the landscape at the time: a dozen years ago you could release a
single, test it on the radio and then re-release it a year later without people noticing.

November 21st – Jay-Z – Kingdom Come: A Grammy award winning Jay-Z comeback album
produced by Just Blaze and Dr. Dre, what could go wrong? Almost everything you say? During
Sunday Night Football the Budweiser commercial where Hov pretends he’s James Bond would
come on while “Show Me What You Got” played in the background. I remember thinking “it’s
not a good sign if Budweiser thinks this Jay-Z single is good for business”.

On Kingdom Come, Jay-Z opts for “grown man raps” over his usual subject matter.
There’s a few decent tracks but the album as a whole is a dud. Jay-Z went back to basics for
the follow-up and redeemed himself on 2007’s American Gangster which proved to be his last

great album. Hov himself ranked Kingdom Come as his worst album but he also put Blueprint
3 over Dynasty and Vol. 3 so what the fuck does he know?

November 28th – Clipse – Hell Hath No Fury: I don’t remember “Mr. Me Too” being on the
radio too often and I don’t remember the kids ever talking about the duo from Virginia. I’m
including the album because critically it is the best album of all the albums released in the Fall of
2006. The sentiment online and throughout hip-hop is that this is the Clipse’s best project and
I’m here to disagree with that. This is not an indictment on Hell Hath No Fury, it speaks more to
the excellence of their debut Lord Willin’. It’s very hard to top an album that starts with “Young
Boy” and “Virginia.” Malice being better than Pusha T is another strange Clipse opinion that’s
become popular online. Malice is clearly the Havoc to Pusha T’s Prodigy, how could anyone
think differently? Am I listening to the Clipse wrong?

December 12 th – Young Jeezy – The Inspiration: It was funny to see Zay, the program’s alpha
dog and biggest Young Jeezy fan, try to talk himself into The Inspiration not being a
disappointment like I did when I heard the latest G-Unit or Game on the radio. Zay preferred
listening to the Can’t Ban the Snowman mixtape or, when he craved new Jeezy, the I Am A Street
Dream DJ Drama mixtape. The first single “I Luv It” was your typical single from the time but
played on MTV more than New York radio. The second single “Go Getta” featuring R. Kelly
was also a very mid 00’s rap single that managed to get more run on New York radio. The album
is more forgettable than bad. The fact that this album got much better reviews than Jeezy’s last
great studio album, 2008’s The Recession proves these hip-hop journalists don’t know shit.

December 19th – Nas – Hip-Hop Is Dead: Nas, always looking for new and innovate ways to
take an L, found a funny, new way to take a loss. Nas has a reputation for wasting his album

budget on god knows what and having to hit the bargain bin for beats when his advance money
dries up. This is how Salaam Remi (who’s actually not as bad as people say) ended up producing
eight songs on Nas’ previous album.

Having soon to be retired NBA Power Forward Chris Webber produce a song (“Blunt
Ashes”) on your album is a loss, regardless of how good the beat is (it’s not). I’m not sure if
having an NBA player produce a song on your album is more or
less embarrassing than Nas starting off said song by asking, “Yo, I wonder if Langston Hughes
and Alex Haley got blazed before they wrote stories.” Uh, no Nas, Langston Hughes wasn’t a
member of Dipset, he didn’t get high before creating his poetry. Before Alex Haley began
writing Roots, he spent some time in the dark interior of a ship, trying to re-create the
claustrophobic horror slaves must have experienced. It’s safe to say Alex Haley also didn’t
smoke cess before writing.

Nas doubled down on his Chris Webber bet by having him produce the only previously
unreleased track (“Surviving the Times”) on his 2007 Greatest Hits album. The beat is a lot
better on this one but imagine you’re pumped and ready to listen to a well put together mix
of Nas’ mid-90’s classics and instead of hearing “N.Y. State of Mind” when you press play, you
are treated with a song produced by a man who’s most famous for the biggest choke job
in NCAA Championship Game history. Nas could’ve had any producer in the world give him a
beat for the token new track that Greatest Hits albums had and he chose Chris Webber. I need
answers: why am I the only one who cares about Chris Webber and Nas’ artistic relationship?

The title track produced by will.i.am. was the first single of the album and was good at
the time but hasn’t aged well. It’s ironic, funny and cruel that Game rapped over a Dre beat
on Nas’ album but not on Doctor’s Advocate. “Black Republican” is okay but doesn’t come close
to living up to the hype of the first post-beef Jay-Z-Nas collaboration. Nas claiming hip-hop was
dead was a shot at Southern rappers of the time. Does this mean Nas was ahead of the time with
his claim that hip-hop died? You could say that, but rap wasn’t on life support in 2006 like it is
now. Hip-hop’s corpse is rotting as we speak but no rapper dares to speak to truly speak on it.
The best rapper alive would rather make trap albums with his 37-year-old auto-tune
using wife than make a defiant statement on the death of hip-hop. Now I’m sad.

New R&B

“Be Without You” by Mary J. Blige and “Call on Me” by Janet Jackson featuring Nelly
are two great R&B singles by two legends in their late 30’s that dominated the airways that
winter. I heard “Irreplacable” by Beyonce so many times on the radio that fall and winter that I
get Vietnam like flashbacks every time it randomly comes on in public. “Deja Vu” and “Upgrade
U” by Beyonce & Jay-Z turned out to be a preview of the shitty music those two would make in
the years to come. The scary part is that those songs aren’t good but are still miles better than
any Beyonce/Jay-Z collab in the past decade. “Me & U” by Cassie & “Show Stopper”
by Danity Kane were hits by new female R&B/Pop voices that didn’t hold up to the better R&B
of the time but is much better than TheWeeknd. Female R&B singers on their second albums had
chart toppers, Ciara’s “Promise” and “When I See U” by America’s favorite functional illiterate,
Fantasia.

If you see an R&B feature on a new rap project nowadays you know the song is going to
be some depressing, auto-tuned hook bullshit. But this wasn’t the case in the mid-00’s even with
mainstream songs. “Pullin Me Back” by Chingy featuring Tyrese isn’t as fun as “Holidae Inn”
but is still a solid single with a good beat and great hook. “You” by Lloyd featuring Lil’ Wayne
played every half an hour on Power 105: the song is a best-case scenario for having a rapper
featured on your R&B single. “You” was Lil” Wayne’s first chart topping feature and propelled
him to be featured on approximately 200 singles in the next two years. “Buy U A Drink” by T-
Pain featuring Yung Joc is an R&B version of the finger snapping Southern rap songs that were
so popular at the time. “Shortie Like Mine” by Bow Wow featuring Chris Brown is a rapper
featuring an R&B artist but it’s more R&B sounding than rap. I didn’t mind this song then and it
hasn’t aged as poorly as you would assume a Bow Wow single would. “I’m a Flirt” featuring R.
Kelly is another Bow Wow single that aged well, at the time we didn’t know the R. Kelly
featuring T.I. & T-Pain version of “I’m a Flirt” would be remembered most. “My Love” by
Justin Timberlake featuring T.I. crossed over more than any other R&B featuring Rapper single.
The best thing about “My Love” is it’s not “Sexy Back” which also played on the radio non-stop
that fall and winter. “What Goes Around” was the third single from that Justin Timberlake album
and is much better than those two singles but not good enough to take Justin Timberlake
seriously as an artist. His music isn’t offensively bad but it also isn’t good. Timberlake’s voice is
not great, Bob.

We didn’t know it at the time but R&B was about to experience an even quicker death
than rap. By 2010 there was almost no good new R&B. We grasped for anything that seemed to
have potential, people with good taste tried to convince themselves that PartyNextDoor was
good. We were ignorant of R&B’s impending death at the dawn of 2007 and it seemed that the

new king of R&B would be either Ne-Yo or Akon, two very different artists. Ne-Yo broke
through in 2006 with the mega hits “Sexy Love” and “So Sick.” It was rare for an R&B artist in
that era to be a critical and commercial success which Ne-Yo undeniably was. His biggest
competitor at the time, Akon, was a completely different artist whose music didn’t fit the molds
of traditional R&B yet wasn’t hip-hop enough to be considered Bone Thugz. “Smack That” was
a huge single that was on the radio all the time but was too gimicky to be considered good.
“I Wanna Love You” featuring Snoop Dogg was a number one hit and a very enjoyable single to
this day. I love the fact that Akon had chart toppers like Eminem and Snoop Dogg featured on
his singles but the only rapper Ne-Yo worked with for his singles was State Property’s
own Peedi Crack on “Stay.” Ne-Yo skipped right over Beanie Sigel, Freeway, Young Chris and
Neef Buck right to Peedi. Do you think Ne-Yo considered Oschino or Omillio Sparks
before settling on Peedi Crack?

Ne-Yo ended up winning the battle for the R&B crown, releasing two more modern
classics with Because of You and Year of the Gentleman which not only kill Akon’s next (and
last) album but also serve as the last great R&B albums. Sure, it’s been over ten years since a
decent R&B album but things are just fine!

I went into jail and the program knowing a lot about rap but very little about modern
R&B. I loved and grew up on Motown and all the other great Soul and R&B acts of 60’s & 70’s.
I had a healthy appreciation for 90’s R&B groups like TLC and Boyz II Men based on what I’d
heard on Atlanta Radio Stations and seen on music videos on MTV. My group of friends in High
School all had very eclectic taste in music: we were light-years ahead of everyone else we went
to school with. We listened to Velvet Underground, Joy Division, Love and the Elephant Six

Collective and knew we had better taste than the writers of Blender. You know what we didn’t
think was cool? New R&B. If I would have arrived at my friend’s house with the new Bobby
Valentino album, I would have gotten clowned just like I did in the program for
my wack wardrobe. Similar to fashion, we never even talked about new R&B.

My exposure to R&B at the program wasn’t limited to whatever single happened to play
on Hot 97 or Power 105 on nights we had the stereo. One of the kids begged one of the female
employees to bring in a copy of Usher’s album Confessions. I sat back on the couch as he
begged for an Usher album that went 10x platinum and thought, ‘Sure, you guys are way cooler
than me, dress better than me and have better taste in rap but at least I don’t beg to listen to
Usher’s sellout album!’ The female employee eventually brought in a copy of Confessions and
we listened to it while we cleaned and had a good two week stretch where the album was in
rotation as much as the rap we listened to. Listening to an R&B album was a changeup from the
usual hood mixtapes we listened to. When the Usher album played all the gangsters I was locked
up with turned soft as hell. “Yo, I remember listening to this when my chick caught me
cheating.” One of them would say shaking his head, “man, when she told me she was pregnant I
listened to this joint non-stop.” These extremely tough young men turned soft from an album I
considered a commercial sellout.

Atlanta’s 95.5 The Beat gave me my education in rap during the late 90’s and early 00’s
so I already had a healthy appreciation for Usher but assumed he sold out and crossed over in a
bad way when I saw him on MTV doing “Yeah!” with Lil’ Jon. That song was more of a joke to
my friends and I than a song. Slowly but surely Confessions started to grow on me as did the new

R&B on the radio. I began to look forward to hearing “On the Hotline” by Pretty Ricky in the
Power 105 rotation and I no longer viewed “Icebox” as a lame song by a B2K flunkie.

When you are insecure and young, you unconsciously let your peers decide what music is
cool enough to give a chance to. The fact these kids, who I looked up to and thought were cool,
liked new R&B subconsciously ‘gave me permission’ to give it a chance, open my mind and
judge new R&B on a blank slate. It turns out I do like new R&B! Obviously, Usher doesn’t have
the voice of Sam Cooke or the capability to make an important album like Rhythm Nation but
that doesn’t mean you write off his discography. As much as I love old R&B, it’s refreshing to
listen to 90’s and early 00’s R&B as a changeup in the same way it’s invigorating to listen to G-
Unit or Dipset if you’ve been listening to nothing but Rakim and KRS-One.

Streets Wanna Know

4,000+ words constitute enough foreplay, let’s get down to the real rap. Just like in jail, I
was the only G-Unit fan in the program. Zay was the program’s 19-year-old alpha dog, he was
tough, cool and smart. I heard his girlfriend give him a shoutout on “Love Lockdown” on Hot 97
during a late-night radio session, all the kids would wait to hear if their girl called into the radio
to shout them out on “Love Lockdown” but Zay’s girl was the one I heard go through.

If Zay said something was wack, it was wack. If he said something was dope, it was
dope. Zay slapped me on the chest to get my attention while “Reservoir Dogs” by Jay-Z played,
“I know pop you can’t stand us cause we cock them hammers/Run in your crib, no prisoners, pop
your grandma/Locked in the slammer?Nope, popped up in Atlanta/Crossed up in a drop, I

popped up the antenna.” Zay slapped me in the chest again to make sure I was paying attention,
“Niggas don’t know man. They really don’t know that Jay-Z invented this talking greezy shit.”
For whatever reason, I’ll never forget him saying that about Hov. Obviously Zay was aware of
other Mafioso/street rappers like Kool G Rap that influenced Jay-Z, but there’s something to
what Zay said. Jay-Z had a certain slick talk to his raps that no rapper had before. He was
murdering you but calmly and coolly, the slickest rapper ever.

Zay was the ultimate authority when it came to what was real, grimy street rap. Pause, he
always knew what was hardest. He didn’t always control the radio, but when he spoke up people
listened and put what he wanted on. His favorite rappers were Hell Rell and Young Jeezy. He
entered the program days after I did and somehow secured a burned copy of Hell
Rell’s Streets Wanna Know mixtape. Zay and I started talking about sports during our downtime
in the first week. “Put my shit on” he ordered one of the younger kids from his seat on the
wooden couch. That day was the first of the 943 times I listened to Hell Rell’s
Streets Wanna Know mixtape while locked up in the program. That mixtape was Zay’s bible and
therefore became all of our bibles. It’s too important of a mixtape/moment in my life to not do a
short Track by Track breakdown of:

“Rap Sheet” – Cam’ron’s only appearance on the tape is him telling us Hell Rell is home and
instructing Hell Rell to give us his Rap Sheet. The beat is hard as hell and abrasive like most of
Hell Rell’s beats. “Me and my man Bucks went on a string of armed robberies, then I got
knocked for them string of armed robberies/Fast forward ‘96 I’m back on the strip/It’s looking
good niggas in the hood fucking with them bricks/Copped the Tech and the .380 like who want

it?” Being locked up listening to Hell Rell rap about being locked up made his music resonate
more.

“Shoot to Kill” – “I write rhymes and push weight, one bitch doing my nails, the other feeding
me grapes” is a great Hell Rell line that resonated with me more than I realized. In my memoir, I
use the line “women feeding me grapes” to explain a fantasy I was having. There’s a 99.9%
chance that I used that phrase because of this song.

“Die Muthafuckas” – Maybe the Hell Relliest song of the whole mixtape. The star of the track
is Freaky Zeeky who spends a minute mumbling a pep talk to Hell Rell via Clinton Correctional
Facility’s pay phone.

“On My Block” – “My nigga this Hell/Rell just got the jail cell/gun on my Pel Pel down to get
it poppin” Hell Rell raps over 50 Cent’s “In My Hood” and uses his flow better than 50 did. For
the second song in a row Rell takes a call from Clinton Correction Facility, this time from an
inmate who tries to G check Rell who tells the hater that “his pass in jail is stamp and certified”.
Did I mention this is the perfect mixtape to listen to while locked up?

“Bang Out” – More jail rhymes. “A killer with straight intentions of mashin ‘em wit
vengeance/Put me back in, go to the box, finish my sentence/I don’t wanna be around
nobody/I’m stabbin so they don’t put me around nobody.” As far as hard street rhymes there’s
not many rappers in history that can keep up with Hell Rell. Beanie Sigel and Scarface were hard
rappers that made better music but were they harder than Hell Rell? “You wanna test the rocket
launcher? Well c’mon/A hundred shots’ll go off and watch your family mourn/And one
phone call’ll make your whole family gone/Leave your family tree burnt down, y’all sittin in urns
now/Bangin out like a nigga got money on my head/Kill a hit man so he don’t collect the
bread/Bangin out like I’m in a stash house full of bricks/And it’s comin to get robbed by some
niggas with some fifths.” If your Aunt Sally heard you listening to lyrics like this she’d tell her
sister to send you to boot camp.

The song starts out with a hilarious skit. In it one of Hell Rell’s youngin’s excitingly tells
a recently released Hell Rell that he sends youngin’s to the store for dutches just like Hell Rell
used to do to him. The kid is obviously dying for Rell’s approval, Hell Rell’s response?

“Lil’ nigga, I don’t give a fuck/I just got my hand on two AR-15’s, and a pump with a
pistol grip, what’s good?” Incredible. I usually hate skits but all of Hell Rell’s skits on this tape
are amazing and good for a laugh. I would not be opposed to a Hell Rell album full of skits of
him taking phone calls from various prisons and shooting down wide-eyed teenagers searching
for his approval. Give me a Hell Rell comedy album, spoken word album, motivational speeches,
anything: I am all the way in on any form of Hell Rell recording. I would start listening to
audiobooks if they were narrated by Hell Rell.

“Shots Fired” ft. Juelz Santana – Uh oh, get the yellow tape. Hell Rell absolutely murders
Juelz Santana who seems confused on how to rap over the track. This was Juelz’s first guest
appearance since releasing Back Like Cooked Crack Pt. 2 and What The Game’s Been Missing!
Sadly, the weak verse was a sign of the fall Juelz was about to endure. Juelz still hasn’t released
the follow up to What The Game’s Been Missing!

“Y’all Don’t Want War” – The most non-descript song on the mixtape. It’s fine but
doesn’t elicit much of a response either way from me. Another funny skit exchange at the end of
the song has a woman telling Hell Rell to take care of his kids. “What kids mayne? I ain’t even
got no kids….I don’t even have kids! What the fuck are you talking about?” Could I interest you
in Hell Rell and a hoodrat from the Bronx starring in a paternity episode of Maury?

“Jesus In My Life” – The beat is low key, relying on a haunting piano and simple drum track.
Hell Rell sounds magnificent on the track but unfortunately the song’s only 85 seconds long.
Add “rappers choosing one of the best beats to be one of the shortest songs on the project” to my
growing list of hip-hop pet peeves. It’d take anyone five seconds of listening to Hell Rell float
over this track to realize he was born to rap on this type of beat, but somehow they chose to
make it the shortest song on the mixtape. There are multiple Freaky Zeeky Phone Calls from
Prison interludes that last longer than this song.

“Killa, what’s good? Why’d you take my second verse off of ‘Jesus In My Life?”

“Remember that fifth voicemail Freaky Zeeky left us last night at 2 in the morning? Yeah you
killed that shit Rell but there’s NO way I can leave that voicemail out.”

“Dreams” – Hell Rell raps over a Kanye (remember when he was an amazing producer?) beat
that was the third single on Game’s classic debut The Documentary. Hell Rell would’ve been
better served using any of The Documentary’s other singles, specifically “Higher” or “Westside
Story.” The freestyle is fine but for some reason only an edited version of this song exists. You’ll
never believe this but a Hell Rell song that skips over the curses fucks up the flow of the song.

“Ruger Rell & Writer” ft. JR Writer – The beat is underwhelming but JR Writer and Hell Rell
make up for it. JR Writer and 40 Cal are a much cleaner fit than JR and Rell. Out of all the
members of Dipset I think Hell Rell had the best chemistry with Cam’ron who didn’t appear on
this project. I suppose Cam’ron took the four Hell Rell collaborations he had and used them all
for Killa Season. Speaking of Killa Season, Hell Rell does a magnificent job as a supporting
actor in the film Killa Season which is one of America’s biggest cinematic accomplishments of
the 21 st century. It’s Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men or Hell Rell in Killa Season as the
best supporting actor roles since the 90’s.

“Monsters Pt. 2” ft. JR Writer – Now we’re talking, this is more like it! This track beats the
previous JR Writer collaboration but I have a problem with it being on the mixtape. Not to

get geeky/A&R guy on you but Monsters Pt. 1 has a better beat and is an overall better
song but it’s a loose track that has never featured on any official project. Loose Tracks Matter!

“Keep It Thoro” – Rell freestyles over the popular instrumental from Prodigy’s solo debut.

“Grand Finale” ft. 40 Cal & JR Writer – My favorite track on the mixtape. I remember
watching Zay rap Hell Rell’s verse and thinking to myself, “I had this tape but never noticed how
good the project and this particular song were.” The beat takes a sample from an unlikely source,
He-Man’s theme song. The sample only lasts two seconds but whoever produced it did a great
job of looping it and making it sound so catchy. One of the more fun things about researching
rap is finding out the origins of your favorite beats. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked
up the sample to one of my favorite beats and was in utter shock by how absurd, random or bad
some of the artists getting sampled are. Before I looked up the sample for the song, I assumed it
was from some obscure disco song or something. Hell Rell leads off the song and sounds great.
JR Writer is up next and he gives his best verse of the album and also sounds great over the beat.
40 Cal takes the body on this track, coming on to the track with the energy of a sixth man.

This is the third-best song the trio every released together behind “The Pit” and the Jay
Bezel assisted “Best Out” both of which came off of More Than Music Vol. 1. Dipset’s bench
mob of JR Writer, Hell Rell & 40 Cal had great chemistry together that rivaled the chemistry
of Dipset’s starting lineup of Cam’ron, Juelz Santana and Jim Jones. There was a time in 2007
when Dipset’s roster included: Cam’ron, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones, Hell Rell, 40 Cal, JR Writer,

Max B, Stack Bundles, Jay Bezel, Purple City, S.A.S. and Un Kasa. Look at that lineup, it’s like
the 1927 Yankees! That deep of a roster has only been seen in Wu-Tang Clan.

“What I’m About” – Rell had great success when he used “In My Hood” from The
Massacre earlier on the tape but this time he uses “Gunz Come Out” from The Massacre, a beat
that was blah at the time and has aged even worse. Dr. Dre produced “Gunz Come Out” and the
original “Outta Control” for The Massacre. It’s crazy how Get Rich or Die Tryin is considered a
Dre produced album despite only producing four songs off it, granted three of those songs are
“In Da Club”, “Heat” and “If I Can’t” but it seems like that number should be higher. It’s even
crazier that he only produced two songs on The Massacre and both beats suck. It wasn’t until the
Remix of “Outta Control” that Dr. Dre redeemed himself for the crappy tracks he gave 50 for his
follow up. Dr. Dre releasing every unreleased song he ever did with 50 Cent and The Game
would be a thousand times better than Detox or that crappy Compton OST. Just give me all the
loose tracks that didn’t make the cut for Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and The Documentary. Old
rappers and producers need to understand: us fans would rather hear the unreleased material from
your golden age then you trying to recreate that same sound during a midlife crisis.

“Hell Rell” – A great Hell Rell song where Hell Rell does Hell Rell things. It always cracks me
up that Hell Rell named a song after himself.

“Gangstas & Murders” ft. Bezel – Hell Rell is on top of his game on this track that I always
thought would’ve been a good street single. “I carry one for the beef, one for the haters and this
other chrome and black one just match my Bo Jacksons.” Rell is just cold, man.

“Ran with the best niggas, slept in the best villas, 5-star restaurants that served me the
best dinners!” is hilarious in a way I can’t properly explain. Per usual, Jay Bezel provides the
listeners with a flawless hook. If you need evidence that Jay Bezel is good listen to him catch
the body over Hell Rell, JR Writer, 40 Cal and Juelz Santana on “The Gladiators” off More Than
the Music Vol. 2.

“Uh Uh” ft. Juelz Santana – Finally Juelz Santana redeems himself for mailing in his first guest
verse. This is a great Dipset collaboration but as I said earlier the memorable Hell Rell collabs
typically involve Cam’ron. Killa Season was a staple in the program and contains four Hell Rell
verses. None more memorable than “War”. The shit talk before his verse is so memorable I can
quote it word for word without having to play it, “heard these niggas wanted war, I’m good
at those….I’m fuckin great at those.” Hell Rell doesn’t get enough credit for being funny. The
“War” beat is some hood superhero shit that suits Rell perfect, Cam’ron can only pray to keep up
with Hell Rell’s energy. “You procrastinated so I got you assassinated” was a Hell Rell line
from “War” that Zay would always say out of nowhere.

Hell Rell proves his versatility; “Something New” and “He Tried to Play Me”
from Killa Season are two light beats that have a nursery rhyme piano vibe.

Freestyle 1-3 – There are three unremarkable freestyles over forgettable beats. The songs are
so forgettable that Hell Rell doesn’t even bother giving them titles. Rather than forcing a
conversation about those three freestyles let’s talk about the three most important Hell Rell solo
records from this era.

Hell Rell’s first official appearance on a Dipset project is on “This Is What I Do,” a
banger from Diplomatic Immunity Vol. 1 that was produced by Heatmakerz. The song is very
catchy and easy to like. If you were trying to turn someone into a Hell Rell fan (a great thing to
do) I would suggest showing them this song first. So many quotables in this
song from “all my guerillas gonna come through and get you and merk off in the double nickel
the color of pickles” to “you and your mans getting it, where’s our
portion? Yo Killa, only reason they killers/When they bust in the hoes they
make em get abortions”.

Hell Rell’s second solo appearance came on Diplomatic Immunity Vol. 2 on “Wouldn’t
You Like to Be a Gangster Too.” Rell raps so filthy on the track that they couldn’t have put
anyone else on the song. “My gun bust need I say more, now I have my mom telling me I need to
pray more/ Mommy please, I don’t get on my knees that shit ain’t for G’s, I’m about to take my
ass to hell for all the triggers I squeezed”. Man, listen.

“Back in the Building” is the final solo Hell Rell track that completes the Holy Trinity.
Later that year Hell Rell finally gave us his solo mixtape.

“What You Into” ft. Ash & Sin – I refuse to comment on a song that features Ash OR Sin.
Instead let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

I’ve been out the loop of hip-hop news for the past three years. Before writing this
article, I was completely unaware of the trials and tribulations Hell Rell has faced the past year.
There’s the video of him getting jumped at a Buffet which seems like a dangerous place to fight
with all the hot food and obese people around. Then there’s the video of him laying knocked out
on the street after either getting knocked out or being so pissy drunk that he turned into a New
York City hobo. There’s the audio recording of Hell Rell arguing with some dude from Newark
over a feature and demanding he Western Union him $50 that day. The dude from Newark
proceeds to diss Hell Rell’s entire family including his daughters and recently deceased parents.
Umm, bad times for Hell Rell. Cam’ron was on some IG story radio show (when did that
become a thing?) and, in a tone as serious as Cam can get, told Hell Rell to get Karate lessons.
Joe Budden went on his podcast and jailed off it all, especially for choosing to eat at a buffet.
Maino took a dig at the videos on a Funk Flex freestyle which made Funk Flex get so excited it
sounded like he needed CPR. Hell Rell replied with a few interviews and his own IG stories
where he compares himself to President Trump, “billionaire” Jay-Z and talks with the same slick
talk straight out of 2006 that we’ve always loved him for. Usually I’m turned off when I watch a
rapper stick up for themselves in interviews after something like this happened, typically it
comes off desperate. Not Hell Rell: he’s as cool, calm and collective as ever as he debunks
anyone who thinks he’s a cardboard gangster. Hell Rell being obsessed with telling his rivals to
get life insurance is the most ridiculous and funny thing he said in all of his interviews and
Instagram posts. Someone on YouTube mashed up his Life Insurance rant
with a MetLife commercial. I think I’m responsible for over half of the 43 views the video has.

“I gotta half amillion dollar fuckin’ life insurance policy on me nigga….I can recommend a few
policies if you niggas is lookin for one. Get off a nigga dick and get some life
insurance, ya heard?” Never change Hell Rell.

His reputation has been tarnished and it’s officially not cool to like Hell Rell. Guess
what? I got Hell Rell’s back! I’m taking his word on everything because he’s one of those cats
that are so authentic you can’t help but believe him. At the very least he would make a great
debater and politician. When it comes down to it, most rappers remind me of actors but Hell Rell
reminds me of the street cats I was locked up with. After listening to over an hour of Hell Rell
interviews I am starting a petition for a Hell Rell podcast. I could listen to Hell Rell talk about
any subject. Hell Rell, if you’re reading this let’s start a podcast called “Suburbs Wanna Know”
and change the world.

Prime Weezy

Streets Wanna Know was the most indelible mixtape of my time in the program
but Dedication 2 by Lil’ Wayne was a close second. The mixtape released in May 2006, five
months after the universally approved Tha Carter II. People argue that 07-08 “mixtape Weezy”
is the best Lil Wayne era but they are wrong, 2007’s Da Drought 3 is the best Lil’ Wayne
mixtape for people not familiar with his previous work. Tha Carter 3, which marked the end of
that Lil’ Wayne guest/mixtape run, is a big dropoff from the first two entries in
the Tha Carter series.

Lil’ Wayne’s apex came during a one-month stretch at the end of 2005. On November
20 th Lil’ Wayne dropped The Suffix, his most underrated and my personal favorite mixtape of his.
On December 6 th Lil’ Wayne released Tha Carter II, which is great but I prefer Tha Carter 1 in
large part because of Mannie Fresh but it’s close. On December 13 th , a mere one week after
releasing his biggest album, Wayne drops his biggest mixtape to date, Dedication with DJ
Drama, an underrated tape that gets lost in the sauce due to all the music he dropped over the
next two years. To review: In the span of 23 days, from November 20 th to December 13 th , Lil
Wayne dropped his biggest album to that point (Carter II), his best mixtape (The Suffix) and his
most important mixtape (Dedication). Wow.

Dedication 2 reminds me of a ballyhooed athlete who has finally learned how to harness
their prodigious talents. Like LeBron in Miami, Weezy has figured it out and there’s no one that
can stop him. Lil’ Wayne called himself The Best Rapper Alive on Tha Carter
II, but it’s on Dedication 2 where you really hear him believe it. While the whole rap game was
arguing about New York based hip-hop collectives, the best rapper in the world was not so
quietly carving his lane in ravaged post-Katrina New Orleans. Wayne still had the respect of the
streets, this is before Wayne watered down his value by being featured on everyone’s project and
freestyling over every beat. Fall 2006 is long before Wayne’s embarrassing contract situation and
the even more embarrassing “rock” phase that gave the world the piece of shit known as Rebirth.

Wayne chooses “Get From Round Me” by Dipset as his first beat to freestyle over, it’s
not the most fun beat to start a tape off with but Lil’ Wayne was clearly obsessed
with Dipset back then. Remember when he was an honorary member of Dipset? Wayne was

featured on Jim Jones’, Juelz and Cam’ron’s album as well as the legendary song and video for
JR Writer’s “Byrd Call.” We think of Lil’ Wayne as the guy featured on everything but back
in 2005, he had only been on Cash Money albums and a handful of southern rappers. Dipset was
the first New York group to spotlight Wayne. Weezy returned the favor on Dedication 2 by
rapping over “Ground Zero” for the title track and having Juelz Santana featured on “Concrete
Jungle”, one of the few original tracks, and “No Other” which uses the famous Jay-Z beat from
the Intro to the Dynasty album. Side note: The Intro from the Dynasty album is the most Roc-A-
Fella beat ever, close your eyes and you can see Jay-Z and Dame Dash popping champagne
bottles while plotting on ways to stab the other in the back.

Wayne has a knack for taking commercial sounding singles and remaking them
into street songs. He does this by putting his spin on Dem Franchise Boys’ “Oh, I Think They
Like Me”, “GettinSome” by Shawna and Rick Ross’ introduction to the game “Hustlin.” His
only miss was trying “What You Know” by T.I., that song was so T.I.’s that it doesn’t seem right
to hear anyone else over it plus the beat was played out by then. Wayne sounds great over Three
Six Mafia’s “Poppin’ My Collar” but then Mack Maine comes on the track and takes a big dump.
Lil’ Wayne finally released Carter V in 2018 and to no one’s surprise Mack Maine is the one
friend from Wayne’s apex who survived the entire decade. Cockroaches, E-Coli and Mack
Maine’s guest verses are the only things that could survive a nuclear apocalypse.

The song that has the loudest echo of the mixtape is “Cannon.” The beat takes Wu-Tang
affiliate Sunz of Man song “Banksta’z” and puts it on steroids. Don Cannon and DJ Drama make
the beat come alive and scream. The ol’ “run back the song after the first minute” mixtape trick
is usually annoying but is totally necessary here. If you haven’t heard the “Cannon” beat before

you really needed the extra 90 seconds to fully prepare yourself for it. Countless times on
weekends we would come up from the lunch and a kid had already ran upstairs and started
playing “Cannon” by the time I reached the top of the stairs. The song became such a street hit
that DJ Drama put it on his first album, swapping out Detroit Red and Juice’s verses for T.I. but
this will always be the version.

My friends and I driving around Basking Ridge listening to “Georgia….Bush” is tied with
knowing all the words to Saigon’s “Impeach the President” for the whitest, fake-woke thing my
friends and I did in high school. I miss the days where fake-woke songs actually sounded good.

Lil’ Wayne has always had a great ear for beats. I heard in an interview that he listens to
a beat for ten seconds and if it doesn’t grab him, he moves on to the next beat until he finds one
that grabs his attention. That may sound simplistic for a seasoned musician like Wayne but it
forces him to rely on his intuition that happens to be great. He grabs the “Spit Your Game” beat
from the Biggie Duets album and murders it, saving the beat from dying an anonymous death.
Years before Lil’ Wayne’s protégé Drake took Phonte from Little Brother’s flow and style, Lil’
Wayne took the beat from the unheralded North Carolina Duo Little Brother and placed it smack
dab in the middle of the tape, giving the listeners a needed break from thumping beats. The most
interesting beat choice is Wayne turning back the clock on “Walk It Off” and using “Don’t U Be
Greedy,” an album cut from his mid 90’s Cash Money teammates U.N.L.V. There was beef
going at the time but the only thing that would’ve made Lil’ Wayne’s mid-00’s run better
would’ve been working with more of his old Cash Money mates like Juvenile and Mannie
Fresh. That or someone taking the lean away before Wayne developed an opiate addiction.

Sidenote: If you’re curious about Dedication 3 just know that there are
eight Gudda Gudda features on it. Good luck.

Lil’ Wayne also had an ear for up and coming rappers. The obvious examples are Drake
and Nicki Minaj, but those two had the machine behind them so it’s safe to say they would’ve
made it regardless. Lil’ Wayne aligning himself with Currensy in the mid-00’s was
genius. Gillie Da Kid gets street cred for allegedly writing Tha Carter and I’d bet
that Currensy picked up where Gillie DaKid left off and ghostwrote Tha Carter
II (included Currensy’s first guest verse). It’s easy to forget with Currensy’s oversaturation
but his pen game is very nice. Currensy is featured on three songs on the album and sounds
amazing on all of them. None better than his verse that kicks off “Ridin’ Wit’ the
AK”, Currensy’s laid back and fly Ma$e flow sounds incredible over Big Boi’s “Kyrptonite”
(another amazing beat choice). There’s an alternative world where Currensy got Wayne
to substitute lean for weed and Wayne helped propel Currensy to stardom. Currensy went on to
have a solid career without Wayne, dropping the Pilot Talk series and numerous mixtapes that
are simultaneously solid and forgettable. The fact that the entire hip-hop community got bored of
Currency at the same time is sad, he’s a cool dude that deserves better. With that said, who the
hell would get excited for a new Currency project in 2019?

Dedication 2 is regularly included in the Greatest Mixtape of All-Time debate and it
wasn’t just white kids that liked him either. Lil’ Wayne was so respected in the streets that they
all turned a blind eye to his line “I got a bitch with a mouth like that boy Ken Griffey” on
“Gettin’ Some.” Nearly a decade has passed since Lil’ Wayne’s last great project, No Ceilings,
but the New Orleans rapper’s shadow is over all of the trap/mumble/emo rap that is popular now.

Young Jeezy, T.I. and Gucci Mane rightfully get credit for creating the original form of trap
music but you could put all three of them together and their influence still wouldn’t be as large as
Wayne’s. Ask any of the pink dread rappers who their favorite rappers are and watch them
say Weezy without blinking. Wayne is their biggest influence, he’s their god, 2pac and Biggie
rolled into one. Lil’ Wayne is about as far back as they go in their hip-hop history which is
terrifying and also explains why the soul is completely drained from rap. Young Thug is a
disturbing example of Weezy’s influence. Lil Wayne’s music doesn’t necessarily sound
like what’s out now but you can hear the influence. New rap is like Rebirth era Lil’ Wayne on his
worst, drugged up day.

Max & Stack

Jim Jones Presents M.O.B. (Members of ByrdGang) is the third of the four mixtapes that
defined my time in the program. The mixtape was released in July while I was in jail so my first
time hearing it was in the program. Max B is one of my favorite rappers now but back in 2006 he
was merely known as the guy who sung the hooks on “Baby Girl” and the classic “G’s Up.” 50
Cent is the only other rapper I can think of that has even close to an understanding for rhythms
and melodies that Max does. The mixtape is supposed to be Jim Jones mixtape but Max B and
Stack Bundles steal the show and make the tape their own. Stack Bundles has talent oozing from
his pores, there’s no beat he can’t rap on and no flow he can’t tackle. Stack could do the street
rhymes but also be introspective, he had a great voice for rap and a cocky disposition that stood
out in a genre dominated by alpha males. Losing Stack Bundles isn’t remembered in hip-hop the
same way Biggie, 2pac and Big L are but there is no doubt in my mind that he would’ve had the

career of an all-time great. It’s stereotypical to say but they don’t make rappers like Stack
anymore.

Stack Bundles and Max B complement each other in ways few rappers do. Their
chemistry is right up there with Ghost & Rae, Pimp C & Bun B, Jadakiss & Styles, Game & 50
Cent and all the other rapper classic combos. You have to go outside of rap to find two musicians
who complement each other so perfectly like Max and Stack do. Comparing Marvin Gaye and
Tammi Terrell to Max B and Stack Bundles may sound like a reach but their chemistry is really
that good. Like Marvin and Tammi, Max and Stack left us with albums worth of classic material
that showed how cohesive the duo was and how tragic it is that they were taken from us before
their peaks. Max B, like Marvin in the 70’s, made classic material after Stack Bundles passed but
never found the peanut butter to his jelly.

“Fucks Wit You” takes you by the collar and shakes you until you start loving it. “Can’t
judge a book by it’s cover/Comes to yay you can’t trust a brick from it’s color” is Stack Bundles
just warming up on his first verse. Max B isn’t only hooks, just when you think Stack is going to
drop a second verse Biggavelli slides through the door with 16 hard hitting bars. Jim Jones falls
very flat when you compare his verse to his two understudies. Jim Jones being outclassed on his
own mixtape by the younger Max and Stack reminds me of an older athlete coming to terms with
his athletic mortality when seeing how strong and powerful the newest hotshot rookie is.

“My Life’s Like A Movie” was one of the most played songs of my time at the program.
It’s an amazing song that should have been a street single. “My life’s like
a moooovie cuz imma keep falling in loveee, my life’s like a moooovieeee , I’m gonna keep
smoking them drugs….” was a hook that SK and all the other kids would sing to themselves

throughout the day. Jim Jones steps his game up on this one and doesn’t get murdered. The beat
sounds like a happy drunk and samples “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” which is a Billy Joel
song but sounds like the Bergman/Fellini film we never got.

Warning: there is a lot of Mel Matrix here. Mel Matrix is featured on seven songs and is
just good enough to not take away anything from the song, you’re not happy his verse is on but
you’re not upset either. In sports these average joes are called “replacement level players”, in
baseball they judge you as a player based on a stat called Wins Above Replacement (WAR)
which shows how many extra wins you’d bring to a team based in comparison to
a league average player. Mel Matrix is perfect for this exercise, if you score a 0.1 that means
you’re slightly better than Mel Matrix and are barely bringing something to the table, if
you’re a –0.1 that means you’re slightly worse than Mel Matrix and the listener would be better
off if you sat verse out. Only Mel Matrix scores a perfect0.0. We’ll call it the WAMM: Wins
Above Mel Matrix. Don’t confuse this with the Mendoza line which is the threshold for
incompetent hitting which in baseball means hitting .200. In that analogy, Group Home’s
Nutcracker would be rap’s Mario Mendoza.

A weird quirk on the features list: Hell Rell is absent from the tape but gets credited for
being on “Chalk Lined.” The singer Rell, of Roc-A-Fella fame, is on the hook, not our guy Hell
Rell. It doesn’t seem right that JR Writer and 40 Cal are on this project and not Hell Rell.

There are two guest features on here that have negative WAMM’s. Jha Jha pukes up a
terrible verse on “What It Do” that features JR Writer. “Testify” chooses a great AZ beat but Jim
Jones allows NOE on the song. For those of you who don’t know, NOE is a Jay-Z clone
that Dipset ironically brought into the fold during the height of the Dipset/Jay-Z beef. NOE

sounds like Jay-Z in the same way that Guerilla Black sounds like Biggie. The only scenario I’d
want to hear Guerilla Black or NOE is if they did an EP where they covered every Jay-Z and
Biggie collaboration. Is there such a thing as hip-hop cover bands or did I
just inadvertently make that up?

In all seriousness, this mixtape is an all-timer. Max B is at the top of his game with his
melodic sing-songy hooks, Stack Bundles kills everything moving and Jim Jones ties it all
together. “15 Minutes of Fame” is pure ecstasy. There are certain beats no one should rap over
and Dogg Pound’s “New York, New York” should be one those beats. Nope, an unphased Max
B unleashes his twang on the hook and makes it his own while saying “there’s only one LeBron
in this league.” Stack Bundles comes up next and sounds like he feels bad for what he’s about to
do to the famous DJ Pooh beat. Nearly any rapper can sound good over beats like “New York,
New York”, Biggie’s career isn’t as compelling to me because he rapped over amazing Bad Boy
beats for his entire discography. What’s more interesting to me is when a rapper is so good over
a bad beat that you end up liking a song you never thought you’d like. “Dope Game, Coke
Game” is a really weak beat but Stack’s imagery and storytelling engage me and keep me locked
in. At the time of his untimely 2007 death, Stack Bundles’ career was rising at the same time all
of his peers were falling off while rap moved in a new direction. The argument that Stack
Bundles would’ve been the best MC from 2009 on is an easy one to make.

Streets Wanna Know has a very special place in my heart but M.O.B. Members
of Byrdgang is a better mixtape. Ditto for Dedication 2. M.O.B. is a tour de force starring two
of hip-hop’s most unheralded stars. It is a Top 5 All-Time mixtape. There was no better time
than 2006 for two rising Dipset disciples to release a genre bending tape for the

ages. There are certain projects in music history where the timing is perfect and everything
comes together just right, Purple Rain and What’s Goin’ On are two prime examples of the
expression ‘right time, right place.’ You are goddamn right I just compared Max B and Stack
Bundles to Prince and Marvin Gaye.

The Snowman

Can’t Ban the Snowman mixtape by Young Jeezy is the final of the four mixtapes that
stood out the most from my time. Zay was a huge fan of Jeezy and the driving force behind us
listening to it as often as we did. Zay didn’t have to do much convincing and besides if Zay liked
it it had to be fire. Jeezy wasn’t as agressive as Hell Rell but nonetheless put Zay in that money-
making mindset. Jeezy to Zay and the rest of the juveniles was “spend 9 hours bagging drugs and
counting money in an abandoned apartment” music. Zay was such a big Jeezy fan that he had us
listening to Boyz n da Hood.

Listen, I love Can’t Ban the Snowman but it’s the weakest of the four tapes. There is a
LOT of Slick Pulla, like a dangerous amount. There’re also unsafe amounts of Blood Raw.
Having those two scattered on the tape fucks up the flow. The instrumental for “Bonafide
Hustler” comes on and you get excited only to have that excitement drained from you after
listening to Blood Raw stumbling over himself for the entire song. Young Jeezy never shows up
but there’s plenty of Blood Raw!

There’s only two solo Jeezy songs on here that last over three minutes. The first is the
amazing 5-minute intro “I’m Back” which is the best song on the project. The second is

“Ya Dig” which is good but sounds like a song that was left on the cutting room floor during the
making of Jeezy’s debut. The biggest problem with the tape is there’s too many USDA flunkies
and not enough Jeezy.

Jeezy’s beat selection is interesting, he seems to really like G-Unit. I mentioned
“Bonafide Hustler” but he also raps over “Have a Party”, “Window Shopper” and “I Know You
Don’t Love Me.” He raps over the posthumous Biggie and Eminem track “Dead Wrong” which
was a good beat at the time but aged poorly like all things Eminem related. Jeezy also likes Jay-Z
beats, using the popular instrumentals for “U Don’t Know” and “Public Service Announcement”
but those choices aren’t the ones that impress me. I love that Jeezy choose the
“Imaginary Player” beat for “Better than Ever,” that beat and song are one of my favorites from
Jay-Z and hearing Jeezy rap over it in his prime is a treat. Choosing the “Verbal Intercourse”
beat makes for a good surprise and Slick Pulla being the only rapper on it makes for a terrible
surprise.

Can’t Ban the Snowman was one of the few tapes we had in the program where we
actually had the bootleg CD case with the cover that was printed out on somebody’s color printer
in East Orange. We eventually got a copy of the Young Jeezy’s second LP The Inspiration and
the follow-up mixtape I Am the Street Dream! but Can’t Ban the Snowman was in the
rotation the most.

“G-G-G-G-G-Unit!!!!”

When I got locked up in July of 2006, G-Unit wasn’t in their 02-04 prime but they were
still consistently putting out really good projects. Just in my senior year alone G-Unit released
three very solid G-Unit group G-Unit Radio mixtapes (vol. 13-15), a guilty pleasure Ma$e G-
Unit Radio tape (vol. 16), two Mobb Deep G-Unit Radio tapes (vol. 17 & 20), a Spider Loc(!) G-
Unit Radio mixtape (vol. 18), a good Freeway G-Unit radio mixtape (vol. 19) and weeks before I
got arrested 50 released his first solo G-Unit Radio mixtape (vol. 21) tape since February 2005.
50’s G-Unit Radio Pt. 21 was especially good. It was 50’s retaliation mixtape to Game but unlike
all of Game’s G-Unot mixtapes, the G-Unit Radio Pt. 21 mixtape had disses that resembled
actual songs that you wanted to revisit. During the Fall 2005, 50 and G-Unit released the
underrated Get Rich or Dyin’ Soundtrack that you could argue aged better than The
Massacre and Beg for Mercy. If you judged the health of 50 from G-Unit Radio Pt.
21 and the Get Rich or Die Tryin’ Soundtrack, it seemed that the Queens rapper hadn’t lost a
step.

In May 2006, Lloyd Banks released the fourth installment of his Money in the
Bank mixtape series, Vol. 4 was a small step below the first three but still very good.
Tony Yayo’s Thoughts of a Predicate Felon ended G-Unit’s streak of classic platinum debuts.
Yayo’s debut disappointed compared to Banks and Buck’s debuts but still provided us with two
classic singles (“So Seductive” & “I Know You Don’t Love Me”) and some solid album cuts
(“We Don’t Give a Fuck About You” & “It Is What It Is”). Mobb Deep’s G-Unit released
album Blood Money dropped in the Spring of 2006 and of course fails in comparison to the duo’s
90’s work but gets unjustly vilified. Blood Money provided us with one of the best singles of the
decade in “Pearly Gates.” Sure, the warning signs for a G-Unit drop-off were there but if you just
based it off production and closed one eye you could argue they were still on top.

Like G, the kids in the program did not think G-Unit was cool. When I would talk about
how much I liked them they would mock me by saying “G-G-G-G-G-Unit!!!” in the same valley
girl tone as the woman who does the “Maybach Music!” drop. In the program we had folders
that held all of our paperwork and information, the kids from the hood would draw gang stuff or
write Free such and such on their folders. Since I didn’t belong in a gang and didn’t know
anyone else locked up, I decided to own my lame G-Unit fandom and write ‘Free Yayo’ on my
folder as a homage to the Free Yayo shirts hip-hop was wearing in 2003 when the G-Unit
member was locked up. Of course, all the kids thought that was the gayest shit ever and laughed
and ridiculed me for it. My counselor at the program saw my folder and thought it was a drug
reference and wouldn’t hear my explanation of “Tony Yayo is just a rapper, he’s the Ringo of G-
Unit! He’s not actually locked up now!” In her eyes I was promoting drugs and she punished me
by putting me on “contract” which at the program is like being grounded, you have to wake up
earlier, clean even more and wear a white t-shirt tucked into your sweats. I was shocked she took
such drastic measures for a simple joke considering I hadn’t been put on contract for throwing
Fruit Punch on a guy and getting kicked out the cafeteria. Nearly starting a riot in the cafeteria?
No problem! Advocate for the worst member of a rap group to be freed years after he’s actually
free? Trouble! As I was standing in line for the ritual of getting put on contract, all the kids
started yelling the girly “G-G-G-G-G-Unit!” which had become my catcall.

Despite being made fun of for liking G-Unit, I still craved to hear what new music they
were releasing while I was locked up. I was unaware their downfall was happening in the free
world. During DJ’s late night sets on Hot 97, I would hear a Lloyd Banks or 50 Cent song here
and there that would hardly scratch my itch. “You Don’t Know” by Eminem was on the
radio and hearing 50 Cent and Banks featured on the Eminem single was better than nothing.

I would see the cool looking blue cover of Lloyd Banks sophomore album Rotten
Apple advertised in XXL and stare off into space during line time and imagine myself smoking
and listening to it. I got cool with one of the weekend staff guys and after weeks of begging I
convinced him to sneak me in a copy of Rotten Apple. The day finally came, the staff member
met me in a side room and slid me the copy of the burned CD. I begged and begged Loose to let
me borrow the stereo for 40 minutes and he let me probably because he saw the kid on
Christmas morning look in my eyes. I put on the CD and the familiar sound of a money machine
on the beginning of “Ain’t No Click” from Banks’ 2004 debut caught me off guard. Maybe he
accidently put that one song on there? Nope, I skipped through the album and realized that the
staff member burned me Lloyd Bank’s 2004 debut The Hunger For More instead of the
sophomore Lloyd Banks album I so eagerly wanted to hear. This may not seem like a big deal in
the Smartphone era where everything is at your fingertips but at the time, I felt that was my one
chance to hear the new Lloyd Banks album and it could be years before I had another chance. I
told the staff member his mistake but he gave me a look that said ‘be glad you even got that’ and
I didn’t bring it back up. The ironic part of this situation is Rotten Apple flopped commercially
and critically. Had I been free at the time, I would’ve spent days talking myself into the album
being good.

In February of 2007, back when beefs unfolded live on radio instead of social
media, Cam’ron and 50 Cent had an argument on Hot 97 about album sales, Koch vs. Major
Labels and money — it was the most mid 00’s rap argument possible with the most mid 00’s
rappers ever. It was snowing outside when I heard the interview and I stared at the snowflakes
dropping on the window sill and thought the G-Unit and Dipset beef mirrored my living
situation. 50 Cent and I were both being called fake and corny, the difference being 50 was being

dissed by Cam’ron whereas I was getting dissed by Cam’ron fans. Weeks later during a late-night
radio listening session I finally heard Cam’ron’s 50 Cent diss “Curtis” and 50
Cent’s Cam’ron diss “Funeral Music.” I enjoyed both records.

The funny thing about the kids not liking G-Unit was that they actually did like G-Unit,
they just didn’t want to be referred to as a G-Unit fan. At the very least they all appreciated the
pre-Massacre era G-Unit. They looked at G-Unit in 2006 the same way a too cool for school
basketball fan in 2019 resents the G-Rated, mainstream accessibility of Steph Curry and assume
all of his diehard fans are children who don’t know what ‘real basketball’ is. Guess what’s really
fun? Listening to peak era G-Unit. Guess what else is really fun? Watching Steph Curry launch
35 footers off the dribble. Don’t overthink it, things can be very mainstream and very good at the
same time.

When you’re young you feel like you’ll never get old and your favorite groups will never
break up. In 2006 I assumed 50 Cent would continue to make hits through 2020. It’s
upsetting that no member of Dipset or G-Unit has released a great project since I came home
from being locked up in the fall of 2007.

Zay

Remember Zay? The alpha male of the program and Hell Rell superfan? A month or so
after we listened to the Streets Wanna Know mixtape together on the couch during our first
week, I got on Zay’s bad side in a misguided attempt to stand up for myself in one of daily
jailing sessions where everyone would be in a room and make fun of each other to pass time. I

crossed a line and said something to Zay I shouldn’t have, we didn’t fight but let’s just say he put
me in my place. I didn’t dare speak a word to him during that time. When the counselors
announced during the room changes that Zay and I would be rooming together, the whole
program erupted in laughter at the thought of us sharing a room in silence. All of the other
rooms had 4-6 juveniles in them but for some reason Zay and I had a room to ourselves which
made the silence deafening.

On a Saturday night in January 2007, the weekend staff (knowing Zay and I were big
sports fans) snuck us out of our room after lights out and allowed us to watch the end of the
Seahawks vs. Cowboys Wild Card game, the infamous Tony Romo botched extra point hold
game. I remember Zay and I walking back to our room in a daze after the ridiculous ending.

“Who you think’s going to the Super Bowl?” Zay finally broke the silence and talked to
me.

“Everybody is sleeping on the Patriots….” I responded and we ended up talking about
football for hours, the beef was over. Usually sports functions as a topic that gives men a
common ground in the beginning and serves as a launching pad to start a friendship. This was
the first time in my life that sports helped mend a relationship.

“What you know about G-Unit Radio Pt. 10?” Zay asked the next night

“Oh, that’s my shit. ‘My Downfall’, ‘Bitch What You Know About’ and ‘Gotta Get
Mine’ are all classics.” I responded rattling off some of my favorite tracks off the mixtape.

“Man, me and my boy K used to ride around listening to that shit, makin’ fetti. That was
his favorite mixtape. All he would do is put that tape on.” Zay’s tone got low and sad, “I miss
my man K, rest in peace”

I thought it was interesting that Zay and I had such different reasons for remembering the
mixtape so fondly. I was listening to it in the suburbs with my buddies as we drove around trying
to find empty parking lots to smoke in. Zay, on the other hand, had a much more intimate
relationship with the project. It was the soundtrack to his life. The lyrics ran true to him and his
culture. He was really living the lyrics, whereas I enjoyed it simply because of the sound of the
music. No matter how much rap I listened to, I would never understand the life-or-death aspect
of Zay’s life he went through every day on the streets. There were no guns in the Basking Ridge
drug trade, just a bunch of snotty-nosed preppy kids trying to rip each other off. I would never be
able to comprehend the idea of a mixtape reminding me of one of my dead friends, and I didn’t
try.

Living Off Xperience

Every Saturday morning, we would spend two hours cleaning our rooms. That meant
moving the bunk beds and cheap wooden closets out of the room, sweeping, mopping, dusting
and all that good stuff. The weekend staff was more lenient so they would let us take the stereo
into the hallway and blast whatever we wanted to. Loose, the unofficial DJ of the program, was
always the first one to grab the stereo and Styles P was his go-to cleaning music. Cleaning your
cell to Styles P was the 00’s Crip version of black moms in the 70’s spraying Lysol in the air and
cleaning the house to Curtis Mayfield.

Style P’s official mixtapes Ghost in a Shell and Ghost in the Machine were
in rotation but an unofficial Styles P mixtape was Loose’s favorite and he would play it all the
time. It was one of those 37 track mixtapes that compiled verses, freestyles and unreleased
tracks. Styles P’s second LP released that winter but I don’t remember listening to it other than
the songs that were on the radio like “I’m Black”.

Being locked up and listening to Styles P featured on the Akon single “Locked Up” was
a compelling experience. This was the first time I listened to a rap song and could relate to the
content, I was living what Styles P was rapping about…two toothbrushes up!

We had a burned copy of the LOX’s second LP We Are the Streets which served as a 00’s
street bible. You’ll never believe this but listening to “Wild Out” made juvenile gang members
act crazy. There was an unofficial (literally every LOX mixtape from that era is ‘unofficial’)
LOX mixtape that had the group on the cover in a cartoon that made them look like the Fantastic
Four. I can’t remember the title of the tape or any songs off of it but I know it was the best
unofficial mixtape of all time. The LOX were the street kids’ version of G-Unit all the way
down to convincing themselves that J-Hood was good like my friends and I did with Hot Rod or
Spider Loc.

Any song that featured the LOX was played over and over again. We listened to DMX’s
“Niggaz Done Started Somethin’” featuring the LOX and Mase (what a
combo) approximately 396 times. The kids would mutter “So you got what you came
for…surgery with the chainsaw!!” all day and crack up every single time like it was the first time
they heard it.

“Kiss Your Ass Goodbye Remix” was played all the time. The hook was made for
juvenile gang bangers to sing along with: “You can kiss yo ass goodbye.. D-Block, D-Block, D-
Block!” Beanie Sigel catches the body on the remix. The kids were unaware of AllMusic’s
ratings for Sheek Louch’s solo albums. I admired the fact that they held Sheek Louch’s solo
albums close to their heart as if they were Plastic Ono Band.

In high school I really liked Jadakiss and had the LOX’s debut Money, Power &
Respect on my iPod but I wasn’t very familiar with Styles P or Sheek Louch’s solo work. Other
than being the most recognizable member of the LOX, part of the reason I was familiar
with Jadakiss was because he did have a popular official mixtape (The Champ Is
Here). Jadakiss is obviously more accessible than Styles or Sheek but his discography was also
easier to sort through for a white kid in the suburbs.

In high school, I acquired my music in a different way than the juveniles I was living
with. I would spend my nights high as hell listening to G-Unit, downloading freestyles
on Limewire and surfing MixUnit and DatPiff for mixtapes. This was before the torrent/file
sharing days so if you wanted to download Get Rich or Die Tryin’ you had to download every
song individually then sort the track listing on your iTunes. The street kids I was locked up with
would buy mixtapes from dudes on the block for around $5 a pop, these are the same mixtapes I
would see on DatPiff but never actually hold in my hand. On these unofficial mixtapes, DJ’s
were able to compile all of the LOX’s soundtrack songs, features and loose tracks in one place.
The LOX had hundreds of classic songs from that era and these kids knew every damn last song
despite the majority of these street classics not appearing on an official project. The LOX’s
catalog is a musical completist’s dream. Hearing Styles P and other LOX mixtapes on the stereo

so often while locked up turned me into a diehard Styles P fan. It was like being a huge Miles
Davis fan and discovering that his bandmate John Coltrane had his own music that was equally
good in a different way.

The LOX aka D-Block had (and still does) a more wholesome relationship with the
streets than G-Unit or even Dipset: they are the people’s champ. The LOX’s music resonates
with the hood in a much deeper way, if G-Unit’s music is cut with baking soda than the LOX’s
music is pure, uncut dope. Loyalty is everything in the streets and the LOX’s bond to each
other is second to none, they are the only great hip-hop group/collective to never have a public
falling out, even Wu-Tang can’t say that.

SK

I did have one friend, SK, in the program who had my back from the get go. SK was a
17-year-old blood from Newark that looked like Lorenz Tate. SK didn’t respect the social
hierarchy of the program and disliked and fought kids with no regard for their status. SK was a
little strange and had a different sense of humor which rubbed people the wrong way but made
him and I get along very well. Here is a typical exchange between SK and I:

SK: “You said you’re German, right?

Me: “Uhhh yeah, why?”

SK: “So every time dinner is ready yo family yells ‘Supper is ready!’

Me: *squints my eyes and stares at SK in silence wondering if he’s serious before we both start
dying laughing*

SK still had an aura of cool about him despite being different from the other gang bangers
we were locked up with. You know those people that truly don’t care what other people think of
them? That was SK, he was a teenager who had the world against him but was so secure of
himself. At the end of my time in the program, SK and I became roommates and he would find
ways to sneak the stereo into our room. Indulge with me as I relive some of my favorite SK
music moments.

While rooming we would listen to JR Writer’s mixtape Writers Block Vol. 1 and every
time “Venting” would come on he would get so into it like he’d never listened to it
before. “Dipset we too much to stop, suit up with glocks/You’ll shoot up the block when I shoot
up the block.” SK would rewind it to the beginning, “Son, did you hear what he said? You’ll
shoot up the block when I shoot up the block.” SK would say shaking his head and repeating the
line as if I hadn’t been paying attention. SK also loved Jay Bezel and would play “Air ‘Em Out”
repeatedly. Whenever SK would get super into a song, he would nod his head and start moving
his arm over his head in a motion that looked like a drunk hitchiker trying to catch a ride.
Zay would also do this drunk hitchhiker thing when he really got into a song. When the kids
would get into that listening zone it was like they were having a religious experience. “Y’all high
as fuck, I’m sober on point for shooting” SK would rap while listening to the 98-second-
long song “The Return” off of Freeway’s G-Unit Radio mixtape.

SK and Zay had a bumpy relationship, SK was the only person to ever
embarrass Zay but this particular time it had nothing to do with the streets. They were in the

middle of a heated music debate and SK, who knew of Zay from the streets, called Zay out for
being an ex-Shyne fan, not even a Shyne fan, an ex-Shyne fan. “I know you aren’t talking,
weren’t you a huge Shyne fan back in the day?” SK employed his loud cackle of a laugh that
he used to further pour salt into the wound. It was the only time I saw Zay speechless and
embarrassed. The combination of Zay being ashamed for liking Shyne and trying to figure out
why liking Shyne is humiliating provided me with much comedic joy. Zay being embarrassed for
listening to Shyne in the early 00’s was the black version of one of my indie high school friends
being embarrassed for having The Decemberists on their iTunes. I am certain this is the first and
only time that Shyne and The Decemberists will ever be put in the same sentence.

The Shyne incident wasn’t the only music interaction that SK and Zay had. One Sunday
afternoon over the winter the weekend staff let us play Jim Jones’ On My Way To Church album
on the DVD player which transformed the group room into a church, the sermon delivered by
Reverend Jim Jones (no, not that one).

“This album is like a real classic like I don’t think niggas gonna realize it till later.” SK
said to Zay as “Lovely Daze” played on the TV.

“Word, like you going to be able to put this on 15-20 years from now and you still not
going to skip a track.” Zay replied, agreeing with SK’s sentiment.

There’s a lot going on there. First of all, nearly 15 years after On My Way to
Church released, I can confirm that it is still a classic, the rare 00’s album you don’t have to
press the skip button on. Second, I love that SK and Zay were talking about Jim Jones’ debut like
it was Are You Experienced or Off the Wall. Not only is the On My Way To Church a classic, it’s

also one of the most underrated albums of the 00’s. Obviously, Cam’ron is a better rapper but
there’s an argument to be made that On My Way to Church is the best Dipset solo record ever.
Come Home With Me has better singles and is Cam’ron at the height of his lyrical powers with
something to prove. Purple Haze is a sweet spot for all Dipset fans but the tracklist is clunky and
cluttered. There’s just something about On My Way to Church that speaks to the ethos
of Dipset more than those two projects, it’s a more cohesive album, you wouldn’t think Jim
Jones could shoulder the burden of an album (his debut at that) but he does. On My Way to
Church combines my favorite things of Come Home With Me (rapper in his absolute prime with
killer production and features) and Purple Haze (the most Dipset-y album of them all)

SK had hot takes before that was even a thing. I brought up Wu-Tang in conversation one
day and he gave me a weird look so I asked if he listened to them and he looked at me like I had
two heads. “Wu-Tang’s for the faggots,” SK responded with the utmost certainty. That was that,
Wu-Tang was not cool! In high school I liked Wu-Tang’s 36 Chambers and Ghostface and
Raekwon’s solo work but never delved deeper, SK’s biting criticism was definitely part of the
reason I didn’t get into Wu-Tang Forever and the other members’ solo work until 2009. It wasn’t
just a SK thing, none of the other kids ever requested or put on Wu-Tang the entire time I was
there, it was like the Wu didn’t exist. For the record, I love Wu-Tang.

SK and I were chopping it up in the front group room listening to Diplomatic Immunity
2 with everyone else. “Dutty Clap” came on and SK did an incredible impression of the British
rap duo S.A.S. that was so funny he could hardly contain his laughter. I know S.A.S. is better
than The Streets despite having never listened to The Streets.

After 8 months in the program, I transferred to the halfway house and was granted a
furlough. Before I left, I asked SK if he wanted me to burn him any CD’s, he had two requests.
“Get me AWOL and Decade by AZ.” I thought, isn’t AZ the guy from the Firm that’s featured
on Illmatic? At the time, this was the only connection I had with AZ.

Eventually, I was able to listen to AWOL with SK, “Up in Nordstroms for a fresh pair to
floss ’em/Of course with footwear I be that first nigga that sport ’em/Caught ’em before the
salesmen even had time to assort ’em/Bought ’em before any celeb stylist ever saw ’em/Wore
’em soon as I copped ’em in the spot playing possum” AZ rapped on “Never Change.” I was
taken aback by SK’s reaction to the hook, he started to explain why the song was so good but got
caught up in the lyrics and starting rapping along with the hook “though we homies and we no
longer hang/You know you know me and that love still remains/So through the fame, through the
fire and the flames/I adapt to the pain, real niggas do the same/And though we homies and we no
longer hang/You know you know me and that love still remains.” It was like he was having a
conversation with all his homies on the street he hadn’t seen and didn’t know if he ever would
again. You don’t have to be from the streets to relate to the feeling of having love for a friend
that’s not in your life anymore due to whatever circumstances.

I haven’t seen or talked to SK since I left the halfway house in Fall 2007. I often think
about the times we had together and how he was my only friend in the darkest period of my
life. I get teary eyed when I listen to the hook on “Never Change” and the line on the hook “and
though we homies and we no longer hang/you still my homie and that love still remains.”
It’s corny but I feel like I’m hanging with SK anytime I listen to AWOL and especially when
“Never Change” comes up. There’s certain albums and songs that are elevated in your mind due

to your personal relationship with the album. Doe or Die is AZ’s best album but AWOL is the
most important one to me.

As a 30-year-old in 2019, part of the fun of this piece is looking back in hindsight and
evaluating the hip-hop landscape in 2006 when I was 18. Despite being locked up 10 minutes
away from Jersey City — home of the 00’s best New Jersey rapper Joe Budden who had just
released Mood Muzik 2 which is one of if not the greatest mixtape of all time — we didn’t listen
to it once. Like Wu-Tang, we didn’t even talk about Joe Budden. I had Mood Muzik 2 on my
iPod in high school and (stupidly) never gave it a real shot due to my favorite rappers beefing
with Joe Budden. “If Lloyd Banks and Game don’t like Joe Budden why should I listen to him?”
That was my lame excuse but what’s interesting to me is why didn’t any of the street cats I was
locked up with like him? We listened to a fuckin’ J-Hood solo mixtape but never listened to Joe
Budden. Part of the reason they didn’t like Budden was because of the “Pump it Up”/Def Jam
stigma but I think the bigger reason is the vulnerability of Joe Budden’s music, which is his
greatest strength, isn’t appreciated as much in their culture, especially during that era. Joe
Budden’s music wasn’t the place if you were looking street rappers who let you know their
insecurities. In 2009, Joe Budden became my one of my biggest “how the fuck did I never get
into him before?” artists I’ve ever had and is now one of my favorite all-time rappers. What
separates Joe Budden is his ability to let you into the deepest, darkest recesses of his soul but
still maintaining that edge and energy that makes records bump.

When you reached the final stage of the program (A Group) they allowed you a few extra
rights. Your parents were allowed to bring your iPod/mp3/CD player and dry food which you
were allowed to use every weekday for one hour. I had my dad bring my iPod and most the times

the kids would hijack my iPod and find an old song they hadn’t heard in years that brought them
happy memories. Zay would listen to all the Jeezy and old Dipset songs on my iPod and smack
me in the chest asking me after every song “what you know about…” SK would listen to the old
Lloyd Banks freestyles from 2002. Eric would play connect my iPod to the stereo through the
tape deck and play “Piru Love” by Bloods & Crips, all the gang members would B or C walk to
the six-minute gang-banging anthem.

Eric, the comedian of the program, was a part of one of the funniest and
most embarrassing moments I had in the program. Here’s how I described the moment in my
forthcoming memoir:

Eric was controlling my iPod and was flipping through the Eazy-E. In the middle of
“Real Motherfuckin’ Gs” the song suddenly stopped, and all I heard was this: “What is love?
Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me … no more—” It was blaring on the speakers.

My best friend Sam had made a playlist of ridiculous songs like that for us to listen to and laugh
at how corny yet catchy and listenable the songs were. There was nothing more Sam and I loved
than to be ridiculous, and even though he was nowhere to be found, he somehow managed to
embarrass me in front of gang members from Newark.

I was so shell-shocked that Haddaway was blaring through the speakers, that as soon as I
gathered myself I ran over to the radio like my pants were on fire and changed it, but it was too
late. Everyone had already heard it, but instead of making fun of me they all just laughed. I had
truly turned the corner with my peers.

By that time, I had been living with the kids in the program for 8 months and they’d seen
me at rock bottom and watched me fight through it. We’d spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and
Birthdays in the trenches as a makeshift family. Together we saw the Fall turn into Winter and
Winter turn into Spring. Now Summer was approaching and my time in the program was
winding down, I felt I’d finally earned the respect of the kids I’d spent every moment of the
hardest (pause) period of my life with. Along the way I became their annoying little cousin who
had somehow become a member of their crew. I think having my iPod the last month and seeing
for themselves how extensive my library of rap was solidified their respect for me. As always,
nothing brings people together like music.

Halfway House

My next and final stop in my journey to freedom was in the Halfway House that was in
the same building as the program. At the halfway house they try to ease you back into society by
having you get a job, giving you furloughs and allowing you basic freedoms we took for granted
like unlimited access to your iPod and CD Players. We still had to come back to the Halfway
House after work and answer to staff but after everything I went through, this final stage was a
walk in the park.

The first two weeks they make you work for the program as a form of cheap labor, I
mean as a way to give back to the program, you know, the same program that none of us wanted
to be at in the first place. My job duty was working in the kitchen which was great because I got
to eat as much food as I wanted. I tried to stay busy in the back where they kept all the state food
and I would sweep and mop that back room over and over again. There was a radio back there

and it seemed like “Lost Without You” by Robin Thicke was playing all the time. I was able to
enjoy the catchy single with my newfound appreciation for the
contemporary R&B. “Get it Shawty” by Lloyd didn’t have the same magic as 2006’s “You” but
it was a solid radio hit for the rising R&B artist. “Make Me Better” by Fabolous featuring Ne-
Yo and “Baby Don’t Go” featuring T-Pain were two R&B featured songs that played on the
radio all the time that summer.

“Brooklyn” by Fabolous featuring Jay-Z and Uncle Murda was the street single that
played on Hot 97 often. “We Takin’ Over” by DJ Khaled was popular then and provided Khaled
with a formula he’d replicate over and over, “We Takin’ Over” is basically an older, better “All I
Do Is Win.” By the way, am I the only person who thinks “Holla At Me” is still the best single
that came from any of those DJ Khaled albums? Has anyone ever figured out what DJ Khaled
contributes to these projects?

“Duffle Bag Boy” by Playaz Circle featuring Lil’ Wayne played on the radio all the time.
Little did we know it at the time but Tity Boi, one half of Playaz Circle, aka 2 Chainz was about
to ascend to superstardom. Poor Dolla Boy had to sit back in his rented apartment and watch his
groupmate reach a level neither of them thought possible. “Throw Some D’s” seems to be a
heavy influence to this song.

After my two weeks working in the cafeteria, I was granted a furlough and could finally
go home. On my furloughs I would do three things. First, I would eat a big meal until I couldn’t
move and spend time with my dad and dog catching up. Second, I would enjoy lots of porn.
The third thing, which took up the majority of my time, was going on Limewire and
downloading as much music as I could. Of course, the G-Unit and Game projects I missed out

on in the past year were the first things I downloaded and listened to. After that, I would
download stuff I heard SK, Zay or any of the other kids talk about that intrigued me. I
downloaded all the Styles P and LOX mixtapes I could get my digital hands on. New R&B is
something I didn’t know much about which made the search that much more rewarding and
exciting. When I came back from that first furlough, I had like 30 burned CD’s on top of
the iPod and CD’s I already had.

Furloughs weren’t the only time I could acquire new music. The halfway house had a PC
that was slow but still capable of burning CD’s, it would take 45 minutes but it worked. There
was this super muscular guy named Pat in the Halfway House who would stop by Best Buy after
work and buy the latest album the day of it’s release. This was great when he brought in More
Than Music Vol. 2 and I was able to finally enjoy a release at the same time as everyone else. It
wasn’t as great when I would spend over an hour of my life burning and listening to albums like
Freaky Zeeky‘s debut Book of Ezekiel.

Part of completing the halfway house was attending AA meetings. They would load up a
van with members of the Halfway House and you’d go to some grimy basement in the hood of
Jersey City and listen to a bunch of sadness. I vividly remember hearing “Umbrella” by Rihanna
and being struck by a feeling that for, better or for worse, we were stuck with Rihanna. Spoiler
alert: it was for the worse.

On a furlough later that summer, my friend Jason accidently unplugged my iPod while it
was plugged into my computer which erased and broke my iPod. The next week, I spent my
entire paycheck of $280 (40 hours at $7 an hour under the table) at Best Buy on a 64 GB iPod.
My next furlough I spent even more time building back my library. I wasn’t as mad at starting

my rap library over as I thought I would’ve been, it seemed right that I started my new chapter in
life with a slate as clean as my empty iTunes library.

SK eventually joined me in the halfway house and me and him spent many summer
nights outside chain-smoking Newports and Black & Milds while we chopped it up and stared at
the dark Summer sky. I remember making out with a Columbian co-worker one summer night
and listening to the LOX as I walked on clouds back to the Halfway House eager to tell SK over
a menthol. As you can tell, it’s impossible for me to separate a moment in time in my life from
the music I was listening to during that time. Music being intertwined with memories is one of
the coolest parts of being a fan of music. The “I don’t listen to music except when it’s on”
person is really missing out. If I didn’t hate that type of person I would feel bad for them.

I’ve been in a self-imposed golden rap era phase for over three years now and I must say
it was refreshing and invigorating to listen to the energy of the great hip-hop in the mid 00’s. In
high school, listening to The Game, G-Unit and Dipset made me feel like a confident superhero.
No other genre can make you feel as amped as high-energy rap. Hip-hop is motivation which is
why it makes the best workout/pregame music.

It’s jarring to listen to rap music from 06-07 and notice how far its fallen in just a dozen
years. The superhero rap of the mid-00’s is now replaced by generic, emotional, low-energy raps
that have no bounce or soul. I’ll save my “why rap died” points for a special article I have
coming up.

One of the more fun parts of this piece was watching all the videos from 06-07 and
noticing all the fashion trends. Pharrell used to wear clothes that weren’t from
the boys’ department. It was a glorious era in which every rapper wore baggy clothes,
throwbacks, and fitted hats that didn’t fit. The biggest change I saw wasn’t from the men, it was
from the ladies.

I was watching Bubba Sparxx’s “Ms. New Booty” video and realized the female body
has evolved more in the last dozen years than the previous 300,000 years combined. The booties
that are considered big in 2006 would not even be a blip on the radar in today’s curvy era. I’ve
watched probably 100 videos from the mid-00’s to prepare for this and let me tell you it’s
ridiculous how the female body has evolved. The steroids, hormones and whatever else
they poison our food with is making women curvier than they’ve ever been. I’m a fuckin
bartender at Red Lobster and I feel like I could bag the type of chicks that are in these mid-00′;s
rap videos.

Never forget: women’s bodies and the NBA are the only two things that improved in the
last dozen years. Another observation: women didn’t start wearing leggings until this decade.
Observe a college campus and you’ll see over half of the women wearing leggings. Leggings
becoming the go-to pants for women is great for both sides. For women it’s comfortable and
gives them confidence because females know us guys are breaking our necks trying to see what a
woman’s working with. For guys it’s great because it hugs the butt and hips and there’s only a
thin layer of spandex separating them from being naked. It can be disorienting to be surrounded
by all these curvy women wearing tight clothes but it sure as hell beats the small booty, loose-
fitting jeans days of 2006.

To quote Johnny Gill and Stacy Lattisaw, where do we go from here? It’s easy to throw
your hands in the air and declare that rap as we knew it is dead and gone forever. Rock provides
us historical precedence for what rap is experiencing now. In the 60’s and 70’s rock experienced
one of the most prolific runs of any genre in history. Like rap, 60’s rock music was anti-
establishment music that gave us a soundtrack for the crumbling world around us. During the
80’s Glam metal aka Hair metal became the most popular form of rock. True rock fans
dismissed Motley Crue, Bon Jovi and Def Leppard for giving rock fans watered down, cheap
thrills that appealed to the lowest common denominator (sound familiar?). Poison was a
gaudy caricature of the bands that many rock fans grew up listening to.

Rock music was left for dead until guys like Beck and bands like Pavement came around
in the 90’s to bring the essence of rock back. Indie Rock went on a run that lasted over a decade
and provided rock with it’s best run since the early 70’s. Bands in the Elephant 6 collective
created a movement in the mid-90’s that would have seemed like a pipe dream to a cynical rock
fan in the 80’s. Indie bands in the 90’s weren’t trying to sound like The Beatles but it didn’t hurt
that they were influenced by them.

Even the worst music trends eventually come to an end. All the depressing mumble
rap that’s huge today will eventually go out of style, it‘s just how these things work. Our society
is in a much darker place now than it was in the 90‘s, so one could argue that it would be harder
to make good rap due to the times but, for a change, I’m more optimistic. Great rap was always
born out of the worst circumstances. I’ve been saying it since 2014, there is a
golden opportunity for a rapper to bring back the essence of rap and start the equivalent of the
90’s Indie Rock movement for the upcoming decade in hip-hop. That rapper will forever be

known as the savior of rap, the MC who gave rap a facelift and reminded us why we love the
genre. I believe people are thirsty for real bars and that alpha male energy that’s missing from
every rapper who’s been on the XXL Freshman cover the past 7 years. People may not even
realize they miss it. On the whole people listen to what people tell them to, but once it becomes
acceptable to like real rap again, they will realize how much they missed it.

As cynical as I am, I refuse to believe that rap is going to die in a sea of auto-tune and
tight jeans. Rap will become great again. And so will Hell Rell.

Filed Under: Featured, Reviews, Sub Features Tagged With: 2006, East Coast Hip-Hop, Golden Age Hip-Hop, Hell Rell, hip hop, Hot97, Jail, Lil Wayne, Max B, Mixtapes, Power 105, R&B, Stack Bundles, Young Jeezy

Beastie Boys Book Review. @BeastieBoys @BeastieBoysBook

February 7, 2019 by Dan Stuckie Leave a Comment

Hip-Hop as a genre only being in it’s mid-forties gives little to a list of current groups that survived the torrential journey that is the career of a band; Public Enemy, De La Soul, and A Tribe Called quest – though their 18 year hiatus may disqualify them for this exclusive list- are among the only bands in Hip-Hop that continued to innovate and maintain stability through the 80s to the present day. As a product of the youth of the genre their story is as close to a chronological unfolding of the evolution of the genre as it is a telling of their personal evolution.

The Beastie Boys began as a Punk Rock band, founding members Mike D & MCA actually met at a Bad Brains show, the punk attitude is always on display throughout their entire career but reevaluated through the lens this book cleans allows new comers to clearly see the band’s intent even amidst their most disingenuous ‘Licensed To Ill’ phase. Ad Rock calls it the “become what you hate” theory, Punk tends to turn concepts on their head, poke holes in facades, and mock the unquestioned accepted norm. The Beastie Boys proved that this can backfire as ‘Licensed To Ill’, their landmark debut album (selling more than 10 million copies) was more tongue-in-cheek than literal, the Punks were poking fun at jock culture, party life and macho-ism (the album’s original title was “Don’t Be A Faggot”- something they make note to apologize for in the book and also further explain that that was a satirical title based on the overly masculine jock ideology) fortunately and unfortunately for the band the public did not know this. This created immense success but also internal identity issues for the band, ex-communicated drummer Kate Schellenbach (who gets her own chapter in the book specifically to explain this crisis) states “I think it still holds up as one of the funniest comedy records of all time. But I was in on the joke- sadly most of the world wasn’t, and eventually even the Beasties forgot it was a joke.” The book does a great job in displaying the 3 MC’s true character prior to their debut and also their remorse for their behavior during that era. A product of it’s time it is also evident to note that this book dedicates a lot of time to expunging any inappropriate behavior – that any diehard fan knows is well documented(still on Youtube)- from the story. Tell-All books wont be as “Tell-All’ in today’s era and the band consciously or subconsciously lets this be know when they devote a whole section to feminists explaining why the Beastie Boys weren’t misogynistic, ironically, during their most misogynistic phase, a section that in and of itself is a give away to the fact that they obviously were. The reasons given are somewhat perplexing, (one said they just knew they were nice middle class boys at heart, another said that they were cute and let them have a pass) all reasons that in ‘cancel culture’ today may even get the defender in hot water. Had the story ended here due to the vacuum of moral absolutism MCA would never have helped thousands of Tibetan Monks escape and raise awareness of a global genocide to a public that was completely ignorant to a massive humanitarian crisis, another testament not only to the band’s evolution but the spiritual and personal evolution of every human being.

The creative evolution of the Beastie Boys obviously shows in their music, 3 completely different incarnations span over their first 3 LPs, but the creativity spills out into their book as well, which is just as innovative, unique and clever with all the anti-minimalism they are known for. ‘Beastie Boys Book’ reads like a combination between a popular blog, an AOL Instant Messenger chat room, a comic book, and a Monty Python script. Due to the fact that the Beasties may be the oldest currently active (releasing music as recently as 2011) group in Hip-Hop other than Public Enemy who’s debut didn’t come out to after ‘Licensed To Ill’ was already a success, we get to read the story of Hip-Hop itself unfold with all the humor and idiosyncratic wit of the Beastie Boys. Save for them we would only get this first hand account of one of the most unique genre’s unfolding from a journalist’s viewpoint, not a participant’s. Old friends chime in to correct accounts, Rick Rubin clarifies details about his college dorm room, Spike Jonez takes over to detail the beginning of the Beasties costume phase, Mix Master Mike radios in from outer-space, and even 3 mystery men detail time at a summer camp with MCA pre-fame. ‘Beastie Boys Book’ is one of the most unique autobiographies ever written, Mike D and Ad Rock take turns authoring chapters (til it seems like Mike D got tired and just let Ad Rock take over for chapters on end at times), the fact that MCA’s perspective is missing is sad but adds to the mystique of perhaps the band’s most intriguing member, a producer, video editor, humanitarian, avid snow boarder, photographer, and more. Though the band always acted and came across as one single entity, due to MCA’s views on life and his complex theories on religion and suffering -not to mention the most obvious 180 degree switch out of the 3 members – leads one to beg to hear his take on the career and journey of the band more than anyone else’s. This is immediately acknowledged by Ad Rock before the book even starts. Nonetheless we have a book on a band who’s perspective on Hip-Hop covers “The 80s, the 90s, 2000s and so” written almost 40 years after the band formed.

Another anachronistic trait of Hip-Hop pre-1994, when some would claim Illmatic forever altered the course of album production, is in-house beat making. Public Enemy had the Bomb Squad, De La Soul had Prince Paul -as an overseer mostly-, KRS One had BDP, and even Slick Rick was making his beats. What most don’t know is that Chuck D was part of the Bomb Squad, De La made all their beats on their first 3 LPs (and a good portion of them afterward), KRS One worked on his production as well along with Scott La Rock, and Slick Rick had his on production mis-credited to more famous producers during the making of his debut LP. Ali Shaheed Muhammad and Q-tip alternated on beats until wonder-kid J Dilla joined The Ummah after their 3rd LP. Most “Golden Era” Hip Hop was created this way, the band did everything, Ad Rock one Sway In The Morning states in a relatively recent interview how “weird” it is that bands and artists today aren’t involved in their production and even their album artwork. Hip-Hop and Punk grew up as long lost brothers (that weren’t so lost, they were actually neighbors) and the DIY (Do It Yourself) attitude was evident in both mostly as a necessity. Both were so far from mainstream the only assistance they could get in bringing their ideas into fruition was the assistance immediately at hand or their own personal impromptu learn-on-the-fly personal assistance. This kind of culture leads to extremely unique sounds and visions from each band, why the Beasties sound and look nothing like Public Enemy, Run DMC, Slick Rick or any other act of the “Golden Era”. Rick Rubin plays the role Prince Paul would play 3 years later for De La Soul, in a time when “producer” did not have the same meaning it has today, “overseer” would be more fitting. All with some sort of musical knowledge and talent (they started out as a Punk band all playing their own instruments) the Beastie never get the full credit they deserve as beatmakers and producers. Fast forward 20 years to the Kanye Producer/Rapper days and doing both is accepted and heralded -even if Kanye is the first one to bridge the gap-. Had the Beastie Boys come out in 2006 instead Ad Rock would have had an interesting and lucrative side career as a super-producer, producing hits for his contemporaries. The self proclaimed “Benihana chef on the SP12 (popular drum machine used at the time)” who “chop(s) the fuck out the beats left on the shelf” was the innovative mind that programmed the Go-Go style percussion pattern on “Hold It Now, Hit It!” the break out single of “Licensed To Ill” that was funky enough to get 3 unknown white rappers clout in the all black Hip-Hop world of the 1980s. “Hold It Now” was played in clubs and spread like wild fire, as soon as Russell Simmons heard it he told them to release it and rushed to press up copies. The Beasties get credit for the tidal wave they sent through music with their persona and hits but never enough for the soundscapes they created underneath those hits. “You be like ‘HELLO NASTY!, where you been? It’s time you brought the grimy beats out the dungeon!'” Ad Rock later states on their 1998 masterpiece “Hello Nasty” an LP when the band was fully formed, now flawlessly integrating instrumental tracks, hardcore tracks, break beats, dub and alternative rock into one album. MCA and Mike D as well had their weapons of choice when it came to beat making, MCA created a room-long tape loop of the open drum break from “When The Levee Breaks” by Led Zeppelin which ended up becoming their opening track on their debut.  MCA would later strip down a song on their last album and re-do the entire record from drums to bass without the rest of the band’s knowledge, or Nas’- the guest feature on the song- till they were ready to mix the record and finalize it. Ad Rock’s Roland 808 would also be used for many of the early Def Jam productions as well, strange how a Hip-Hop record label didn’t even have a drum machine for their artists till the Beastie Boys came along.

Important overlooked gems like this are essential in understanding the significance of a band and ‘Beastie Boys Book’ does a great job of shedding light on these without glorifying or overstating. Though this book is massive, diehard fans will notice some stories that can be found on interviews on YouTube that don’t make it to the book. The more juvenile or gossipy ones like the stories of their egging spree on the public once they moved to LA which is covered in the track “Egg Man” on “Paul’s Boutique” but could be taken as fiction until one sees an interview where a more matured Beastie Boys are looking back on that album and discussing each track and then they go into detail about how they literally were egging random people around town. The more gossipy stories go back to beefs with Russell Simmons, literally dissing him on records as late as 1994’s “Ill Communication” and even subliminally on “To The 5 Boroughs” and also MCA’s fling with Madonna while the Beasties were opening up for her on her first major tour. These stories are either omitted or reduced to seem innocent and wholesome, perhaps a part do to their obvious growth as people or due to a different climate in admittance to one’s past missteps or inappropriate behavior today. They do mention going on tour with a giant inflatable penis, which would be hard to breeze by such a perplexing detail like that anyway. Sure the Beasties have a lot to be ashamed of but what adult isn’t ashamed of their behavior as a teenager and a 20 year old later? They tapped into the youth of America through satire (that was not so easily picked up on) and connected with the collective teenage mind through commonality, nothing that should be looked down on or that is shame worthy, they spoke their particular truth at that time. Their work later would prove their true intent as artists, they would go on to speak up against sexual assault at festivals during acceptance speeches at award shows, racism, anti-Muslim rhetoric, oppose overt exploitative advertisement, and always give credit to the legends who came before them in a culture they were aware they were guests in.

‘Beastie Boys Book’ not only is a great read, it is an innovative endeavor in it’s scope and approach. You will literally laugh out loud, you will get a peek into the inside jokes we have heard on record but never knew we didn’t even understand. “Pray Mantis on the court and I can’t be beat/Yo Tip what’s up with the boots on your feet?” MCA raps to Q-Tip, “I got the timbo’s on my toes and this is how it goes” Q-Tip responds on the 1994 song “Get It Together”. A funny non-sequitur it seems at first until the chapter explaining Q-Tip’s appearances at their G-Son recording studio that was fixed with a skate ramp and indoor basketball court. The Beasties explain how Tip would play Basketball with one of the members of the Jungle Brothers in full Hip-Hop (of the time) attire: Dashikis, gold chains, headbands and even Timberland boots, all while being on magic mushrooms at times and missing numerous shots. They don’t even mention how this story relates to the line but any true fan would connect the dots and find how self-referential the Beasties really are, carelessly rapping lyrics that they themselves would only understand, proving that an artist true to their self will reach the world quicker than one catering to what the audience is expected to want to hear. Also further solidifying the fact that though they are a commercially successful band they are always just 3 friends enjoying life, we just happen to be enjoying the art that comes out of that friendship.

 

Rating 10/10

Filed Under: Amongst The Myriad, Featured, Reviews, Sub Features, Uncategorized Tagged With: Ad Rock, Beastie Boys, MCA, Mike D, Mix Master Mike

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