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Dead Serious Track by Track

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Dead Serious Track by Track

By: Rob Parkour

 

 

 

Sometimes being outside of the echo chamber can be healthy.  Das EFX members Dray and Skoob met through a mutual friend on a road trip while attending the HBCU Virginia State University.  The man sitting between Dray and Skoob leaned back, so the two could hear each other’s raps.  Dray (Teaneck, New Jersey) and Skoob (Brooklyn) had roots in the New York City area, but this was before the internet and the two had to rely on their imagination to come out with an original sound: necessity is the mother of invention.  The two up and coming MC’s eventually formed a group and were discovered by Erik Sermon at a college talent show, who rigged the contest so the two MC’s would lose and famously gave them an easy ultimatum “would you rather have a hundred dollars or a record deal?”  The duo kept in touch with EPMD and eventually signed to their label, and what followed were words, styles, flows, references and sounds that were completely unique, but soon spread throughout hip-hop.  Let’s unpack their classic 1992 debut Dead Serious track by track.

 

“Mic Checka” – The catchy, hard driving second single leads off the album.  References to Gadzooks, Geronimo, Gladys Knight, The Flintstones and Annie in the first handful of bars lets the listener know they’re in store for something different.  The “Iggity” suffix the group added to words sets them even further apart than their unique pop culture references.  Adding iggity to the end of words came about because Skoob and Dray didn’t like pauses in their verses, so they tried to figure something to say to fill those pauses.  In conversation and music, the small moments of silence tell their own story. One would think logically that emoving these breaks of silence would hurt the music.  Wrong.  The iggity and other made up sounds the group uses to fill in the pauses actually add rhythm to their rhymes.  The iggity sound became their signature and many groups jacked the style as the group moved away from the sound after their debut.  DJ Clark Kent put it best, when he said the group using “iggity” was them playing DJ and scratching their words.

The group barely finished the song before the album because they couldn’t come up with a hook on the song, until one of the producers came up with the idea to loop one of Dray’s lines in the same song for the hook.  May seem like a lazy cop out, but it worked and proves a looped sample of a hard line is always better than a forced “melodic” hook.

 

“Jussummen” – Dray and Scoob weren’t backpack rappers, gangster rappers, pimp rappers or punch line rappers: they were just two friends getting busy on the mic.  The “La Di Da Di” Doug E. Fresh sample, “just some men that’s on the mic,” provides the simplicity needed for the track.

“Well I’m the jibber jabber, jaw like Shabba/Ranks making bank, operating like Trapper John M.D./yea, that’s what folks tell me/I plan on going far and be a star like Marcus Welby.”  If you read that opening line, you’d probably be confused and wonder why a golden age hip-hop song could make references to Trapper John M.D. and Marcus Welby, two Doctor sitcoms that, um, didn’t quite stand the test of time.  I love the logic: everyone is rapping about women, money and status, but we’re going to reference TV shows that no one will remember in 20 years.  If you have a sense of humor like mine, you’ll listen in glee as Dray and Skoob reference Shaka Zulu and Orville Redenbacher in the same line.  Who else would apologize to Mr. Keebler for loving Nabisco-Brand Vanilla Wafers, and reference Stella Doro breadsticks in the same verse?

A good sense of humor can only carry you so far.  Go back to the first line and listen to how the pauses and bar breaks are manipulated to break up Shabba and Ranks. It may seem easy but there’s a high degree of difficulty in pulling it off right. Their unique lyrics and wordplay rightfully get the attention, but their incredible knack for understanding pauses, cadences and rhythm is what makes their music flow and bump.

 

“They Want EFX” – The biggest single of the group’s career was written when the two were poor, struggling college students.  The beat came from two friends from Brooklyn, and the duo tinkered and looped James Brown’s “Blind Man Can See It,” until they found what they were looking for.

I tried getting into Das Efx many years ago, but gave up when I found out, after a deep internet rabbit hole that there’s no explicit version of Dead Serious available.  Fans hoped that the 25th anniversary release of the debut would finally give them the explicit only version of the album to no avail, and it doesn’t seem the explicit version is coming any time soon. Only an edited version being available is a unique circumstance, but oddly there’s not much information about this anomaly online, other than Das Efx fans complaining about it to each other in hip-hop blogs.  The dirty version of this album has to exist somewhere, right?  Das Efx fans deserve closure on this strange case, just tell us A.) if dirty version album exists B.) why the dirty version was never released and C.) why the hell can’t you release it, we’ll give you money?

In this particular case I was wrong for giving up.  Listening to a clean version of a Das Efx song is different than trying to listen to a clean version of “Murder” by UGK.  There are certain rappers that curse so often that censoring the curses leaves too many gaps for the listener to fill.  My best friend Sam put the clean version of Capone-N-Norega’s War Report on my phone, and the pauses were so numerous and frequent that I had to turn the album off while I cursed Sam off in my head for what I perceived as a cruel joke.  Das Efx doesn’t suffer from this fate: their curses are infrequent and the breaks and cuts used to cover curses actually sound pretty good.  I finally decided to give the album another shot a few years ago and was shocked that I immediately forgot the songs were edited, and got swept up in their sound once I stopped looking for edited curse words.

Skoob heard KRS-One say, “they want effects,” and instantly knew that’d be the hook for the song.  Other than Wu-Tang, I can’t think of another rap group that just said, “fuck making hooks, I’m either going to sample a line or forgo the chorus.” This is a great thing that could have saved us a lot of boring hooks if more groups/rappers adopted this method for a chorus.

 

Think about how creative and interesting your voice and delivery have to be to make these lines work in not just a song but a worldwide single:

“My waist bone’s connected to my hip bone
My hip bone’s connected to my thigh bone
My thigh bone’s connected to my knee bone
My knee bone’s connected to my hardy-har-har-har”

It’s not all about jokes and pop culture references: okay it’s always about pop culture references but Das Efx can sound hard too.  “A-Blitz shoots the breeze, twiddly-dee shoots his lip/Crazy Drayzie shot the sheriff yup, and I shot the gift.” Now that’s not a hard line in the Kool G Rap sense, but go listen to the line in the song and tell me it doesn’t give you that fearless, I’m-better-than-you vibe that the hardest rap instills in you.

What is the most important cultural moment for “They Want Efx?”  In the 24th episode of the 2nd season of Beverly Hills 90210, future radio host/rapper David Silver (played by Brian Austin Greene) is relaxing in a lounge chair, listening to his Walkman as he raps along to Das Efx’s breakout single.  “But I can fe-fi or fo, diddly-bum, here I come/So Peter Piper, I’m hyper than Pinocchio’s nose/’Cause I’m the supercalafragilistic tic-tac pro/I gave my oopsy, daisy, now you’ve got the Crazy I’m Crazy with the books” Poor David Silver is about to rap through the entire verse, before Steve Sanders comes over in a AC Slater style tank top and, without asking, turns off Das Efx and tells David “we have to talk business”. This is a very important footnote to the history of the group’s biggest single and should be treated as such.

 

“Looseys” ­– Das Efx holds the honor of being the first (only?) group to rap about having to take a shit in public.  In the days where all rappers were too cool for school, this humorous take on a very relatable situation must’ve been a breath of fresh air.  In hip-hop it takes big guts to rap about different subjects and situations, and not be afraid to make yourself the center of the joke.

For the fourth straight track, Das Efx samples a rapper for the hook, using a line from Special Ed’s “Hoedown” song, and again the decision pays off.  This song has maybe my favorite sequence on the whole album, “I scored 26, I caught a fake and now I’m outty/I’m takin it to the hoop and then this kid tried to foul me/Boom to the gutter, I hit the floor, I wanted to flip/I couldn’t, damn, all of a sudden I had to shit.” Having to shit in the middle of a basketball game when you have 26 points (what were they playing to, first to 50?) is funny, but I’m more impressed that Skoob didn’t settle for a contested midrange jumper, instead opting to take contact and go for the more efficient shot at the rim.  Dray and Skoob have the same chemistry in songs that a point guard and center have after doing thousands of pick and rolls: if I don’t point out the basketball and Beverly Hills 90210 references than no one will.

Solid Scheme produces every song on Dead Serious, except “They Want Efx” and “Klap Yo Handz,” which ironically are my two favorite beats on the album.  Solid Scheme (Chris Charity and David Lynch) did an incredible job producing this project: they put different spins on samples and concepts we’ve already heard.  There’s an unfounded rumor that EPMD ghost produced the album since they discovered the group and have the Executive Producer label on the album.  The production shares some qualities with EPMD’s early 90’s work and it’s common practice in hip-hop for the master to help his protégé: 50 Cent “giving half of his sophomore album” to Game, D.O.C. writing Doggystyle or Dr. Dre allegedly ghost producing Eminem’s beats.  This is not the case here: these beats have their own flavor and are plain better than any 90’s EPMD project.  Had EPMD came up with these beats they would’ve kept them for themselves.

The bigger mystery of the album is what the hell happened to Solid Scheme after 1993.  They went on to produce Das Efx’s sophomore album Straight Up Seweside, which I haven’t given a long enough listen, but strikes me as one of those albums that was rushed to capitalize on the sudden success of a debut, using cutting room floor tracks to make up the majority of the album rather than starting from scratch.  Has anyone ever compared Straight Up Seweside to With The Beatles?  Solid Scheme produced only three songs on the group’s third album while DJ Premier, Easy Mo Bee and Pete Rock handled the rest of the project that was critically panned.  Side note: I need a hip-hop 30-for-30 on how Easy Mo Bee, Pete Rock and DJ Premier in the mid 90’s wasn’t enough to make a good album for a group as talented as Das Efx.

The rest of Solid Scheme’s production career consists of three Das Efx credits from their ’98 LP, a handful of PMD solo tracks, and one track for a rapper named Crown that I’m afraid to find out more of.  That’s it. What the hell happened? How do you go from producing one of hip-hop’s greatest debuts to obscurity in two years without having a musical drop off or scandal?  Where the hell did Solid Scheme go?!  Reach out to Myriad Muzik Solid Scheme, and tell your side of story!

 

 

“Dum Dum” – Solid Scheme comes up with another great beat by sampling Otis Redding’s “The Happy Song (Dum Dum),” and Run DMC’s “Here We Go (Live at The Powerhouse).  Solid Scheme has a knack for infusing old school samples with 80’s rap hits.

This is the second straight song where Dray and Skoob get on their Slick Rick and give us story time, except this time it’s not about being away from home base when you have to take a dump.  This track is about the how females don’t want anything to do with you when you’re down and out, but when you start achieving success, they want you.  The beat is really cool, the content is fine, but overall this is the weakest track on the album.  It’s a great sign for an album that the weakest song is a solid song that is enjoyable enough that you don’t skip over it.

There is one song in particular that could take this spot.  “Hard Like a Criminal” was the B side to the “Straight Out the Sewer” single.  It’s another banger from Solid Scheme and is also a storytelling song but with more substance.  Dray proves himself to be master of the pen and Skoob better at the ridiculous pop culture punchlines.  The song appears on the 25th anniversary edition but for some reason was left off the 1992 release.  In general, its better to keep albums shorter and tighter, forcing you to cut the fat, but in this case it’s different: Dead Serious is only ten tracks, has no fillers, and clocks in at under 40 minutes.  “Hard Like a Criminal” is a great loose track that would’ve been a top 4 song on the album and should’ve been included.

 

 

“East Coast” – It’s fitting that Rakim, Erik Sermon and KRS-One are sampled in the hook of a song titled East Coast.  The bridge for the song shouts out more legends but there’s one name in there that doesn’t fit, let’s see if you notice which name doesn’t belong with the rest:

EPMD
Heavy D
Redman
Special Ed
Main Source
Slick Rick the Ruler
Brand Nubian
K-Solo
A Tribe Called Quest
Gang stiggity-Starr
BDP
Kool G Rapper

I understand that K-Solo, like Das Efx and Redman, were signed under EPMD but come on, you can’t put his name next to those legends.  When I hear the names of all those classic artists, I’m instantly brought back to their classic material, but when I hear K-Solo’s name all I think about is the Keith Murray fight, and him taking a lie detector test on Beef II to prove to ex-cellmate DMX he wrote “Spellbound,” (SPOILER: the results were inconclusive.)  I would totally watch a show where rappers took lie detector tests to settle beefs.  Come on my new Rap Lie Detector show 50 Cent, and let’s find out how much of The Documentary you actually wrote.

As I mentioned earlier, having a base knowledge, but being removed from New York City radio forced the group to come up with their own sound and style while they went to school in Virginia.  Many acts tried to copy their style like labelmates Da Youngstas. Jay-Z, who has a history of being liberal in borrowing styles (what up, Young Chris?), is said to have taken Das Efx style, but in reality, he was just using the style of his OG, Jaz-O.  Funkdoobiest and Fu Schnickens were the most brazen in their use of the duo’s distinct style.  Common before he found his voice and was still known as Common Sense also borrowed from the duo.  Dray said that everyone wanted to “wear Carhartts and Timbos.”  That’s such a great way to describe that hard, gutter, winter time sound that groups like Onyx and Wu-Tang perfected. Carhartts and Timbo music!

 

“If Only” – Another incredible beat that many choose as their favorite instrumental on the project. The beat flips Stanley Turrentine’s “The Man with the Sad Face.”  The beat is a departure from the “Straight from the Sewer” grimy, Boom Bap beats.  The beat is richer and would sound more in place on a Spice 1 album.   Doug E Fresh and Slick Rick’s “La Di Da Di” is sampled for either the second or fifth time on this album, I can’t keep track.

Dray has a hilarious line in his fourth verse where he says “I’m kniddity Gnarly Dude!” in a tone that sounds like he’s mocking a Saved By The Bell extra who won’t leave him alone.  I could transcribe their funny lyrics, but you don’t get the full effect unless you listen to the record and hear the tones, inflections, and mannerisms in their voices.

 

 

“Brooklyn to T-Neck” – Since I’m from New Jersey I get excited anytime a random New Jersey city gets shout out in a bar, let alone a song title.  For the 8th straight song, and last time on the album, the duo uses a sample as a hook but this time you can’t blame them.  Rapper Chubb Rock shouted out both of the rapper’s hometowns in his song “What’s the Word”.  When something that unlikely happens it’s meant to be.

The beat stands out as different from the rest.  Joe Tex’s often sampled “Papa Was Too” is used here as well as The Bar Kays’ “Humpin,” but with two great samples at hand, it seems like Solid Scheme should have produced something a little stronger. Like the beat, the raps are fine but leave something to be desired.

 

“Klap Ya Handz– My favorite beat and song on the album.  The beat is produced by someone from Brooklyn named Dexx.  It’s this song that the duo performed at the talent show that lead to them being discovered and signed by EPMD which forced them, against their parents’ wishes, to drop out of their senior years in college.

Similar to how Digital Underground used Parliament’s “Flash Light” on “Rhymin’ on the Funk,” then for the sick beat on “Danger Zone”, Das Efx uses the same “Blind Alley” by The Emotions sample they used on “Jussummen” for this track.  If you just went to YouTube to listen to “Blind Alley,” all you will hear is Big Daddy Kane’s “Ain’t No Half Steppin’” sample.  A great part about sampling is you can use the same song for a sample over and over because they all have tiny cracks and crevices to make the beat sound your own, despite the original song already being synonymous with another artist.

It doesn’t seem possible that the first ever recording of the group could be my favorite song, but I can’t lie, this is the song I’m most excited to hear when it comes up and the most disappointed when it’s over.  Skoob sounds like a veteran as he glides over the smooth beat.  I’m not sure why I love this beat so much but it’s just great.  I tried to look up Dexx to see if he produced anything else and not only did I not find anything else by him but I now know who Famous Dexx is. Bad Times.

 

“Straight Out the Sewer” – The hook was born when Dray, waiting in the booth for the beat to start, was messing around and said “blah blah blah straight out the sewer” and Parrish made him repeat what he said birthing the hook and the song.  I love little antidotes like this that prove that a lot of artists’ greatest sayings and lines happen by accident rather than trying to force it.

Creepy moment: the line “So give me the mic check, get respect, dude, I’m gnarly/
I betcha if I was Ken, then I’d be fuckin’ Barbie.” This whole time I thought the line was “I betcha if I was ten, then I’d be fuckin Barbie.” Not only did I not find it weird they were rapping about underage sex with Barbie, but I thought it was a funny Das Efx-y line. Obviously, it’s way cooler and makes more sense to say if you were Ken you’d fuck Barbie.

Das Efx was more than just a ‘new rap duo’ they were different, they were really underground, like in the sewer with rats and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles underground. This was the last song recorded from the album and the stir-crazy, high-in-the-early-morning sound comes across on the song.   Credit to Parrish for realizing that “The Sewer” would be the groups identity, shooting videos in sewers and making their logo look like the Sewer manhole covers you see in streets.

 

Dead Serious is a certified Hip-Hop classic.  Despite being only 10 tracks and 39 minutes, Das Efx’s debut deserves to be in the Top 100 all time.  The originality, great production and lack of filler stand out even in an era where there were many New York choices and different regions of the country started popping up.  Let’s see where Dead Serious ranks in the classic year of 1992.

 

Albums better than Dead Serious:

Dr. Dre – The Chronic

Redman – Whut? Thee Album

Gang Starr – Daily Operation

Pete Rock & CL Smooth – Mecca and the Soul Brother

Eric B. & Rakim – Don’t Sweat The Technique

Diamond D – Stunts, Blunts & Hip-Hop

Grand Puba – Reel To Reel

Kool G Rap & DJ Polo – Live & Let Die

Showbiz & AG – Runaway Slave

 

Albums that are on a similar playing field as Dead Serious:

Spice 1 – Spice 1

Compton’s Most Wanted – Music to Driveby

UGK – Too Hard to Swallow

 

Albums that are worth mentioning but not as good as Dead Serious:

Ice Cube – The Predator

EPMD – Business Never Personal

Boogie Down Productions – Sex and Violence

Lord Finesse – Return of the Funky Man

Common Sense – Can I Borrow A Dollar?

Da Lench Mob – Guerilla’s in the Mist

Too Short – Shorty The Pimp

Fu-Schnickens – F.U. Don’t Take It Personal

Double X Posse – Put Ya Boots On

Twista – Runnin off Da Mouth

DJ Quik – Way 2 Fonky

N2Deep – Back To The Hotel

MC Ren – Kizz My Black Azz

 

Albums released by rappers who haven’t gone through puberty yet:

Chi-Ali – The Fabolous Chi-Ali (Just wanted to mention Chi-Ali in two straight articles)

Kriss Kross – Totally Krossed Out

 

“Classics” that I can’t rank because I haven’t had a long phase with them yet:

Pharcyde – Bizarre Ride to the Pharcyde

Beastie Boys – Check Your Head

Arrested Development – 3 Years, 5 Months and 2 Days in the Life Of…

 

The early and mid-90’s were the golden age for the Hip-Hop LP.  1992 doesn’t ring in my head as the best rap year ever but the top four albums, The Chronic, Mecca & The Soul Brother, Whut? Thee Album and Daily Operation are top 25 albums.  You could easily construct an argument that Dead Serious is not a top ten album from 1992, but to me it gets the nod out of the other three choices for the 10th spot. Spice 1 isn’t as memorable and UGK hadn’t entered their prime.  Das Efx ability to truly stand out during rap’s most competitive era proves to be their biggest accomplishment.

Sex Packets Track by Track

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Sex Packets Track by Track

By: Rob Parkour

 

 

Digital Underground are best known for discovering Tupac, and Shock G’s silly nose and personas. Dig further than that and you’ll feel lucky when you unearth their 1990 debut Sex Packets.  Digital Underground has many moving parts so let’s start unpacking the album track by track.

 

“The Humpty Dance” – Shock G, leader of Digital Underground, wears numerous hats on the album.  Humpty Hump, the star on this track, is his most famous.  Big glasses, fake noses, colorful outfits, and a clown-like personality make Humpty a loveable albeit silly character.

The line “I like the girls with the Boom/I once got busy in the Burger King Bathroom” feels like it was written for my friends and I.  The song is so fun, in today’s pop climate it would be damn near impossible to release a radio single this pro-fun.

For better or worse, this song will always be associated with the group.  The beat is very recognizable, the famous drum loop is a Sly & The Family Stone sample, and the handclap snare is from a Parliament song.  There may be older, more classic beats, like “The Message,” but for me this beat is the most Hip-Hop-y beat of all time: it’s been sampled by over 100 artists.  Any true Hip-Hop head can recite Jay-Z’s opening line on Public Service Announcement, “Allow me re-introduce myself, my name is HOV, H-to the-OV,” but how many know Jay-Z’s paying homage to Shock G with that line?

This illustrates the problem of how Digital Underground is remembered: our mind pulls up images of Shock G’s ridiculous outfits and nose, but real rappers and producers know they’ve been biting/paying homage to the group for years.  Three years after “Humpty Dance” came out it had already been sampled 20 times.

Next time I get accused of body shaming at work I’m going to pull a Humpty and reply “Yeah I called you fat, look at me I’m skinny!” Should be enough to get me on the unemployment line!

 

“The Way We Swing” – I’m sure the label made the group put “The Humpty Dance” as the opening track but this is the true intro for the album. Shock G displays the sound the group is going for. This is ironic, because the group is known for their original mixture of jazz, funk and live instruments, but the beat samples the Jimi Hendrix song “Who Knows.”  This particular track doesn’t stand out, but it gives you an understanding of what type of sound you’re getting yourself into.

The cassette version of the album has “Hip-Hop Doll” following this song, an extended “Gutfest ’89” (yes, please), “Sound of the Underground,” and “A Tribute to the Early Days,” all of which do not appear on LP, CD or any streaming sites.  The songs are on YouTube: I’ve listened to them a few times but it wouldn’t feel right reviewing them because I’ve listened to the rest of the album 497 times more than those three unreleased songs.

 

“Rhymin’ on the Funk” – This is the Digital Underground sound we know and love.  The beat is the first of two on the album that samples Parliament’s “Flash Light”. Sure, other groups may have sampled Parliament in the 80’s, but no one at the time was mixing sounds like Chopmaster J and the rest of the production team.  Speaking of other Digital Underground members, we finally get introduced to our second MC of the evening, Money B. Money B has an interesting voice and a smooth flow: I’m glad he appears on numerous songs, but I’m also glad Digital Underground stuck to the Buckshot/Dres formula of giving the better rapper two thirds of the verses.  You have to give credit to Black Moon and Black Sheep for choosing to feature its star more prominently.

Growing up, I always wished that OutKast would have employed the two thirds formula and let Andre 3000 take more shots.  Since rap is so competitive, I imagine it’s not easy telling an Alpha male rapper he’s not good enough to get half the verses, but at the end of the day you should do right by the music, and I truly believe OutKast would have been even better if Andre 3000 was allowed to rap more of the verses he clearly wrote for Big Boi. Not every group has a power struggle: Pimp C, Havoc and Capone are good enough to warrant a 50/50 split, but you can’t tell me that 8Ball & MJG wouldn’t have been better if they didn’t have MJG rapping so much.  Let’s move on to the next song before I type another triple negative.

 

“The New Jazz One” – Usually I don’t include interludes on my track by track breakdown but this one is smooth and uses real instruments, remember those things?

 

“Underwater Rhimes (Remix)” – The song is delightfully silly.  Shock G performs it under his alter ego MC Blowfish, which is exactly what it sounds like, but somehow not lame.  Only an MC like Shock G and a group like Digital Underground could make a song this mindless actually bump in the whip.

The beat samples “Chameleon” by Herbie Hancock which feels like it’s been sampled a million times, but apparently it’s only been sampled by “Words of Wisdom” (check out my 2pacalypse Now review), “Money on My Brain,” by Kool G Rap (overwhelms the beat but it’s such a sick sample it sounds great), and “Cell Phones Dead” by Beck (umm). What happens when you mix a Parliament sample with a Herbie Hancock sample? A beat so good that you can sound hard on the silliest of songs ever.  This was one of my favorite songs to bump in the car, and one time at a light I was caught rapping passionately the line “Well I’m a deep sea gangster, underwater prankster/Kissin’ all the girl fish, dissin’ all the…,” and realized the car to the right of me was staring. Let’s just say I was so embarrassed that I contemplated running the red light and wrecking my car in the intersection.

 

“Gutfest ‘89” –  Mix this song with baking soda and water and let me freebase it.  Gutfest is exactly what you’d think it is.  I know what the ladies are thinking: sex parties? Gross. You are way off base on this one: “Gutfest ‘89” is for men and women alike.  When you’re attending something called Gutfest, how could you not have an amazing time?  I hereby command that from this point forward all Playboy Mansion style sex parties will be called “Gutfest ‘89.”

“Gutfest ’89” is a tour de force by Shock G.  First, he plays a news reporter from Oakland California named Ted Casey who is interviewing Scott Thompson (also played by Shock G) for exclusive coverage of Gutfest.  Bill, live from the scene, tells Ted everyone is having a fun time, while the fictitious band Blue Death plays in the background.  Bill also informs the audience of the rest of the lineup which includes:

The Who: Keith Moon’s whole life was one big Gutfest party.

The Clash: Something tells me whoever wrote this lyric either thought The Clash were a British Invasion band, or The Who were a Punk band.

Digital Underground: Why not?

EPMD: Joe Strummer and Erik Sermon would’ve been like two peas in a pod.

Miles Davis, Chick Corea & Herbie Hancock: What the fuck is Chick Corea’s name doing in the middle of two musical titans.  Come on, Shock G, do better!

The Who: While The Who get announced for a second time the piano starts playing The Doors.  I really hope Shock G didn’t think “Break on Through to the Other Side” was a Who song.

The beat is up tempo and groovy.  The Dexter Wansel sample is an eclectic choice, shout out to that Philly sound.  I feel artists of his era and sound weren’t being utilized enough during the Boom Bap James Brown drum sample era.

Shock G (as himself) has a great line “Black girls, white girls, candy stripe girls, girls with lots of back fat/It’s safe to say more healthy guts then you can shake a stick at,” then Money B slides through so seamlessly you don’t even realize the transition.  Money B also provides the hook which may sound simple “crazy guts, crazy guts, it’s Gutfest ’89,” but that simplicity is all you need on a song that has this much going on.

At the end of the song, Bill and Ted continue to have a conversation that is genuinely entertaining.  I would absolutely watch a show where Bill and Ted investigated and gave coverage of any and all sex parties.  I love Shock G as a rapper but he missed his calling as the greatest voice actor of his generation.

 

“Danger Zone” – “Flash Light” by Parliament is used for a second time, but this time for the hardest beat on the album.  This beat goes in the car: you’ll be rapping to yourself hard as hell about a crackhead.  Which begs the question, why use the hardest beat of the album for a song about the dangers of crack?  I’ve turned this question over in my head many times and ultimately it doesn’t matter why they did what they did, a lot of times we overthink our outlandish impulses until we sap the fun and creativity out of what we’re doing. I’m sure if Digital Underground had an “intelligent” conversation about making a song about a Blowfish rapping about other sea animals, then they never would have made or remixed that genius song.  Digital Underground went with the flow and weren’t scared to be as ridiculous as possible: that takes a lot more courage than it sounds.

Let’s be clear about one thing: Shock G is a real MC and no punk.  When he raps “You see, your boy Shock G wrote this/To open up your mind, do you know who I am, deliverer of the rhyme/My job is to verbally slay suckers, Like an Uzi spray motherfuckers.” Sure, those lines as read on paper may not be of the, to quote Combat Jack, “Lyrical, Miracle, Spiritual” type, but you have to listen to how tough Shock G sounds while he spits theses lines.  I’m not the only one that thinks so either. Later in the album, one of Shock G’s characters is listening to same bars as he negotiates a drug deal.  Backpack rapper geeks go on XVideos and search “Dead Prez lyrics” in the search bar, but what they don’t understand is so much of rap is how pleasant your voice is to hear, your flow and the unquantifiable coolness factor that some rappers have and Wale doesn’t.

Another question has been bugging me about this beat.  Why hasn’t anyone freestyled over it?!  This beat is dying for someone to spit 100 bars of murder on it.  This beat and many other Digital Underground beats should have been used and abused during the mid-00’s glory days of freestyles over classic beats.  Sometimes you’ll listen to an album cut of a classic rap album and be like “I remember that beat from a G-Unit mixtape.”  I’m sure there’s been freestyles over some of the Sex Packets beats, but I can’t remember any of the top of my head.

DJ Kenny K has the middle verse on this song for his lone album appearance.  For a DJ, Kenny K has a natural flow that would sound good even if it wasn’t over such a great beat.  Kenny K introduces us to dope fiend Carla who “has crack every night for dinner.”  Dope fiend Carla is a great nickname for a crack head: it makes me feel like I’m watching an episode of “The Corner.”  Kenny K continues to glide over the beat and instructs Shock G to “grab the nine.”  Shock G grabs said nine, comes back on the beat. and gives me one of my favorite lines on the album, courtesy of poor, old Dope fiend Carla:

“Stuck her head in the car, it was Dope fiend Carla/She said “Can you spare five dollars?” I said “hell no”/She said “why?  I’m not asking for much”/I said “bitch, I’d rather give a crippled crab a crutch)”

Bitch, I’d rather give a crippled crab a crutch?  What can you do after a line like that other than do a chef kiss in the air?

 

“Freaks of the Industry” – I had this song, featuring the the most female grunts in the history of music, playing as I was picking up a friend of mine to go on a hike.  The problem was I forgot his girl and two kids were also coming along with us and the females grunting seemed to get louder and louder as they approached the door of my car. I scrambled to find my BlackBerry to change the song.  I was so terrified from this close call that I turned Digital Underground off all together and put on Bobby Womack for the ride.  As the kids say, this song is NSFW.

Money B sounds so good over the track that he gets first dibs on the song, but Shock G quickly comes to steal the show with a story for the ages.  Shock G is with a lady who looks like Vanessa. Money B questions, The Right Stuff Vanessa?” As if anyone past the year of 1990 would remember her crappy album or singing career.  Shock G corrects him that this young lady reminds him of another Vanessa, Vanessa Del Rio, the Reggie Miller of Porn, a trendsetting star ahead of its time.

Shock G lays out the scene in shockingly vivid detail. My favorite part is how the story starts: “You’re lying on your back with your head on the edge of the bed/The booty’s two feet from your head.” I like when my rap verses start off with hints of face sitting. Unfortunately, there was no face sitting as Shock G gave himself these choices: “A, take the time to find a condom/B, you walk right over and you pound ’em/C, tell her that you want her love/Well the answer is D, all of the above.” Despite the furniture squeaking, everything is going according to plan, that is until “the booty starts making that clapping sound,” which wouldn’t be a problem, but Shock G’s pervert friends are in the next room. “The clappin’s getting louder, you don’t want them to clown you.” What type of creepy, asshole friends was Shock G hanging around at this time?  Not only are they not giving Shock G any type of privacy but they’re going to clown him for blowing the back out of a bootleg Vanessa Del Rio?!

This brings us to Shock G’s second multiple choice question of the evening: “What do you do: A, you simply back up off her/B, you hit it just a little bit softer/C, you take it out and put it in the butt/Well, D is what I do….” Shock G is so flustered that he’s contemplating anal. Luckily Shock G figures out a solution, “I put a towel on floor by the two-inch gap under the door/Now they can’t see me anymore/Check the locks so they can’t clock, but they can listen/There’ll be no bargin’ in and there’ll be no dissin.” You see all Shock G has to go through?  He has to stop mid-strokes and barricade himself in the room like a police standoff.  Again, what kind of people is Shock G associating with that he has to worry about them looking under the crack of a door to watch him have sex with a porn star lookalike?  They know he’s having sex and he still has to lock the door. Who on god’s green earth knows someone is having sex and just walks in?

 

“Doowutchyalike” – Second biggest single of the album: there just wasn’t that many beats that sounded like this in 1990.  This track should put to rest any question of Shock G’s level of talent.  He proved his great sense of humor on numerous tracks already, proved on “Danger Zone” he could spit hard, and proved on “Freaks of the Industry,” he’s as good as a high school senior at concealing sex.  This song may not be in my top five for the album, but Shock G’s performance proves him to be one of the most versatile rappers in history.  It takes a certain skill to go bar for bar with another rapper like Jadakiss and Styles P do, but it’s a whole different ball game to go bar for bar with your alter ego.  I’m not sure how he did it but he went back and forth between Shock G and his Humpty Hump alter ego 29 times.  My favorite part of the song is Shock G’s saying “Vanessa Williams you’re so divine/Just wanted to put your name into my rhyme,” not realizing he had a Vanessa Williams (the Right Stuff?) reference in the previous song.  Shock G thought Vanessa Williams would be this generation’s answer to Marilyn Monroe.

 

“Sex Packets” – So far there’s been 8 songs and one interlude.  Including this song, there’s two songs and three interludes left on the album which would leave us with about 25% of the album left.  It’s at this point that Digital Underground decided to make Sex Packets into a concept album about a glowing, quarter sized pill that comes in a condom wrapper.  The pill is supposed to let you experience sexual fulfillment during some type of hallucination.  It’s an interesting decision to wait this long to turn the project into a concept album, but since when did Digital Underground play by the rules?  It’s also an interesting decision to follow up the strongest run of songs on the album, with Shock G crooning back and forth with some guy named Maverick.  I wish I could find more information on Maverick, but there is no information on the singer. In my head, he’s one of the creeps trying to look under the door while Shock G is having sex with a Vanessa Del Rio lookalike.

This used to be my least favorite song on the album, I thought it was slow and broke up the flow, but it really grew on me the more I listened to it.  So much in fact that I would start crooning like Shock G in the middle of work, “Nooo sex could be greaterrrr, it’s a pillllll wrapped in a paperrr,” as my coworkers looked on at me trying to decide whether they should call HR or not.

There’s a haunting moment at the end of the song where Shock G says, “It feels so real,” and some female computer voice replies, “It is real, it is real, it is real….” Digital Underground: on the forefront of the creepy virtual reality sex scene!

 

“Packetman” – Really great beat that’s dying for Jay-Z and Beanie Sigel to freestyle over.  Quick aside: we really need to bring back rappers freestyling over classic beats.  It would force rappers to actually rap, the beats sound better, and it would give the kids a history lesson.  It would help bring the real mixtape game back, and remind the old heads of classic beats they may have otherwise forgot.  I can’t even imagine my joy if a few years down the road I heard a rapper spitting over this beat.

Shock G plays the customer and drug dealer selling the sex packets.  At first, Customer Shock is skeptical until he hears about the sale going on: “3 for $10 it can’t hurt to try it.”  Customer Shock is sold on the packets once he sees his options “Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33/Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin.” Apparently Shock is in a reality where the age of consent is 17. Dealer Shock tells Customer Shock that the packets he’s looking at aren’t strong and nudges him towards the ones that last a half an hour.

Dealer Shock is all about gender equality: “By the way, I need something for my woman/Sure, I got guy packets.”  Dealer Shock cares even more about doing his share in keeping America’s divorce rate down, “If you’re married, it’s no big deal/You’re not cheating at all, you’re just poppin a pill/And if your wife’s got a headache and wants to hit the sack/It’s cool, take a packet fool.”

Eventually Customer Shock comes back a happy customer: “My god man, that was like nothing I’ve ever had in my life, it was like she was really in the room with me!” Dealer Shock gets excited thinking about his future earnings.  Customer Shock is already fiending for more packets, except he’s “kinda tapped right now, hook me up and I’ll get ya Tuesday.”  Once Customer Shock realizes Dealer Shock won’t front him any packets, he goes full stereotype crack head, “See this TV here?”.  Dealer Shock is disgusted, “Ohhhh, here we go man.  I got enough TV’s.”  Customer Shock pleads, “Come on man, it’s brand new I just paid $500 for it.”  Dealer Shock doesn’t budge, and says Customer Shock’s “wife will do cuz I can’t mess with this stuff myself”.  The symbolism of that is obvious, but the highlight of the track is Dealer Shock’s disgusted reaction of Customer Shock offering him a VCR: “If I get another VCR I’m going to hurt somebody!” How many VCR’s could Dealer Shock possibly have?  What was the over/under for the amount of VCR’s a crack dealer owned in 1990?

 

Sex Packets is rap’s most unique masterpiece. There’s no one quite like Shock G. Digital Underground’s sensibilities and humor are on another level.  It’s an album that’s so pro-fun that Shock G will make you smile on your darkest day.  It’s closer to being a top 50 album than a top 100 album.  Being weird, having a gimmick, wearing funny outfits and singing in rap is all the rage now, but do they know where it came from?

Black Sheep Track by Track

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Black Sheep Track by Track

By Rob Parkour

 

 

 

De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest are the two groups that come to mind when you think of the Native Tongues Collective.  If you’re having a conversation with an OG, he may bring up the Jungle Brothers, but often times the New York via North Carolina alternative hip-hop group Black Sheep gets forgotten.  Part of the reason Black Sheep gets overlooked is their sophomore slump, the disappointing ‘Non-Fiction’ album that bricked commercially and critically.  Another reason they’re overlooked is that Black Sheep members Dres and nymphomaniac Mr. Lawnge don’t have the star power Phife Dawg or Q-Tip have.  Regardless, it can’t be denied that 1991’s ‘A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing’ is a golden era classic.  Let’s unpack the album track by track:

 

“U Mean I’m Not” – I’ll never forget the first time I pressed play on the album and this 84 second song got me so amped I wanted to punch someone in the face.  It’s such a hard track that I literally checked my iPod to make sure I had the right album. I thought, “no way a Native Tongue group could come out the box with something this hard.”  Dres, the star of Black Sheep, goes hard even on a parody track of gangsta rap.  Obviously Black Sheep wouldn’t be who they are if they just did songs like this, but if you can make a song and beat this hard you shouldn’t be afraid to dip back into those waters every now and then.

 

“Butt….In the Meantime” – Of course Black Sheep follows up the hardest track on the album with the softest.  The listener gets so hyped off the first track and then gets brought down with the wimpiest track on the entire album.  Following up the hardest track with the most boring? I bet it was Q-Tip’s idea.  Lyrically the song is fine, it’s the beat that isn’t good. “The Bridge Is Over” sample is the only thing saving the beat from being one of those Native Tongues songs that’s so slow and boring you skip it.

 

“Have U.N.E. Pull” – Chi Ali (much more on him later) reminds current listeners what era they’re in by wishing he could fly like Jordan, and knock people’s heads off like Mike Tyson, before settling on wanting to be like Prince so he could “bag all the honeys”.  This is a typical Black Sheep song: a lot of their songs make you feel like you’re walking around with Dres as he schools whoever’s willing to listen, and Mr. Lawnge as he tries to find his next girl to smash.  Their songs take on a back and forth conversational tone. In your mind’s eye, you can picture them chopping it up on the corner after a long day.  A lot of duo’s compliment each other, but you can tell they don’t hang out with each other outside of the studio.  UGK is an example of that. It was clear from their music that Bun and Pimp C had a great working relationship, but went their separate ways once the music was done.  You don’t get that vibe from Black Sheep: they seem like best friends which makes the rest of their career that much more puzzling.

 

“Strobelite Honey” – Dres goes to a club and sees the silhouette of a shapely lady he’d like to talk to.  Said girl steps out of the club lights and Dres tells the girl “I thought you were someone else.” This answer doesn’t satisfy the young lady, she demands his number, Dres gives her a 1-900 number, and he tells her he forgot his coat, and that he’s double parked.

 

“The Choice is Yours” – The following songs are my favorite examples of when a song is remixed and fundamentally changed:

“Boyz-N-Da-Hood” (1986) – The original is on N.W.A.’s forgotten debut LP but the beefed-up version with an additional verse appearing on Eazy-Duz-It is the classic.

“One More Chance” (1994) – Ready to Die doesn’t have any tracks you feel the need to skip but this one is one of the weaker ones, unless you love hearing Biggie talk about having sex.  With a Debarge sample, along with Mary J and Biggie’s wife Faith Evans, the remix takes the original to a whole different level.  The remix is impossible to hate.

“All I Need” (1994) – Method Man was the first member out of Wu Tang to get a solo record. Tical is a gritty, raw record that gets maligned because it’s not Cuban Linx, Ironman, or Liquid Swords.  The “All I Need” that appears on Tical fits with the rest of the albums vibe, but the remix featuring Mary J Blige in one of her best moments is an all-timer, the ultimate song to play for your hip-hop appreciating girlfriend during the honeymoon stage.

“It’s All About The Benjamins” (1996) – The only song on this list where the original has its own lore.  The original version featured just Jadakiss and Sheek Louch and was released on a DJ Clue Holiday mixtape in 1996.  It was such a banger at the time that Funk Flex allegedly played it for one hour straight at the Tunnel which comes out to around 17 times in a row.  I need to know more Tunnel antidotes like this: we need a Tunnel: Oral History of rap’s greatest hip-hop club.  The remix has Missy Elliot on the hook, an incredible Lil’ Kim verse and Biggie over a beat change that he was born to spit on.  Puffy thought he could do no wrong with the concept and made Rock remix the accompanying record with a video directed by Spike Jonze.  “It’s All About The Benjamins (Rock Remix) enlists Tommy Stinson, Rob Zombie, Dave Grohl and something/someone named Fuzzbubble: it’s as ridiculous as it sounds.

“I’m Real” (2001) – The original that appears on J-Lo’s second studio album is nothing more than a filler R&B/pop album cut that’s way too long.  When Ja Rule added flavor and his verse over the new beat the rest was history.  The remix is a best-case scenario for mixing R&B and Rap.  Most importantly hundreds of thousands of pre-pubescent boys, like myself, fell in love with J-Lo during the video.  J-Lo in a pink Velour zip-up and shorts made me recalibrate everything I knew about women.

“Ignition” (2003) – R. Kelly put both Ignition’s back to back on his Chocolate Factory album.  The original is forgettable, and the remix was on MTV every hour and became R. Kelly’s last mega hit.  The universal approval of the remix is clear: anytime you’re dancing and you hear “Now usually I don’t do this but uh
Go head on and break ’em off wit a lil’ preview of the remix” everyone goes “Ohhh!” and starts dancing in a slow, melodic grind.

“Outta Control” (2005) – The original version is included on The Massacre and features one of Dr. Dre’s worst beats from his last relevant run from 2002-2005.  The remix is also produced by Dr. Dre, features newly signed Mobb Deep, and sounds nothing like the original.  Due to the remix not having an advanced single, listeners were confused and downloaded the original “Outta Control” thinking it was the remix. This caused both songs to chart. Something about the weak original “Outta Control” accidently charting and counting as a Billboard “hit” makes me laugh.  The remix replaced the original on the special edition of The Massacre, and also appeared on Mobb Deep’s lone G-Unit album Blood Money (Me, my best friend Sam, and a crackhead Sam met at a bus stop in Summit are the only people that still stand by Blood Money). “Outta Control Remix” was 50 Cent’s second to last street hit (“I Get Money”) and a sign of the beginning of the end. However, in 2005 you could not tell that to me and my friends during our epic summer fueled by G-Unit mixtapes, copious smoking, and The Documentary.

 

“To Whom It May Concern” – A song attacking all the unoriginal artists at the time who were using the cherished art form to sell out.  Mista Lawnge provides maybe his best verse on the album, complaining about artists that crossover and go double platinum. It’s been said his line gave EPMD the idea for their ironic hit single “Crossover.”  Dres has so many different ways to complain about how rap is becoming commercialized that you sense he could go on for 300 bars. My favorite part about this song though is Dres telling rappers to give the funky drummer back to James, shout out to Clyde Stubblefield.

 

“Similak Child” – White moment: I didn’t know what Similak was.  My Google research and this song tells me that Similak is a brand of baby formula, an alternative to breast milk.  I was still confused, how the hell can you look at someone and tell if they were breastfed or not?!  Who’s volunteering this information, is this a common topic of conversation?

In my mind this song takes place in the same club that Dres had issues with the “Strobelite Hoes.” Please bear with me, I’m also trying to learn if being a Similak child is a good or bad thing.  At first, I thought it was a bad thing because it meant the woman’s mother wasn’t around to breastfeed, but the more I listened to the song, I think being a Similak child is a good thing because your parents not only were there but went out of there way to pamper you.  Most importantly, because formula has lots of nutrients, it means you developed a nice body. Dres ends his verse with the line, “Your mind is brighter than your booty, it’s the carton that I seek.” I’ve spent much time contemplating what that bar means and I’m still not quite sure: again this song makes me feel very white.

 

“Try Counting Sheep” – I can’t quite put my finger on the production.  It’s not a jazzy slower beat like some Tribe songs, and it’s not ‘hard’ like a lot of early 90’s New York production: it’s an inimitable sound that belongs completely to the duo.  Some of the beats have an unusual pace that forces Dres to change his flow on a dime: his ability to be agile with his flow may be his greatest strength.  His flow isn’t the most effortless but there isn’t a type of beat it doesn’t work on.

 

“Flavor of the Month” – Mr. Lawnge’s contributions to this song are limited to him debating between ice cream flavors.  “Do I want vanilla or chocolate?” he asks himself (chocolate’s the obvious choice).  Mr. Lawnge decides neither of these options will do and asks the poor ice cream employee what the “slammingest flavor out this month?” The last time I went to get ice cream shop, I nearly went into the bit before I realized that no one except for me would know what the hell I was talking about, but by all means next time YOU get ice cream, ask them what the slammingest flavor out there is.

As usual, it’s up to Dres to do the heavy lifting which begs the question: are you part of a rap duo if you’re only rapping 30% of the time?  I haven’t done the math, but Mr. Lawnge is absent on over half the songs and on the other songs he usually has just one verse.  It works for the Black Sheep, because Dres is the better rapper, and Mr. Lawnge’s comic relief would get old on every song.  Still, not having even a third of the verses makes you less a member of a duo and more like Cappadonna “starring” in Ironman.

Because rap is so competitive the hierarchy in duo’s is clear.  Prodigy of Mobb Deep, Andre 3000 of Outkast, Bun B of UGK, Erik Sermon of EPMD, Noreaga of C-N-N, 8ball of 8ball & MJG, Kurupt of Tha Dawg Pound, Pharoahe Monch of Organized Konfusion, Billy Danze of M.O.P. and Pusha T of The Clipse.  The only other prominent album I can think of that has one group member starring so clearly is Smiff-N-Wesson’s Enta Da Stage album where 5ft was only on 4 of 14 songs, while Buckshot had 10 solo songs on the project.  Looking at it from that angle makes Enta Da Stage seem like a Buckshot solo album.  I wouldn’t go as far to call Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing a glorified Dres solo album, but it’s an interesting question.

 

“La Ménage” – *VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*

Dres gets the first verse and stays pretty clean until he “starts five play.”  The young lady informs Dres she’s about to come: Dres response?  “It wasn’t foreplay because I used my thumb.”  What a genius, right?  Dres starts his second verse, before Mista Lawnge realizes it’s a song about sex, and kicks Dres out the booth.  Mista Lawnge was born to make a song like this, I imagine he wrote 10 verses for this type of song, and Dres made him pick his best one.  In the song, Mista Lawnge enters in his drawers as the young lady questions if he lives up to his “Mr. 9.5” nickname.  Mista Lawnge ends his verse with one of his most classic lines, “Don’t get offended by the position I recommended/Doggy-style is my shit/The bottom is what I hit.”

Let me preface my Q-Tip rant:  Q-Tip is one of the best producers of all time. His production on the three classic Tribe albums are up there with the smoothest production in hip-hop history.  He held his own as an MC on those albums, and will go down as one of the 50 or so most important musicians in hip-hop history.  Before you feel bad for him, remember Q-Tip has done and said some morally questionable things in the past, and this era of hip-hop is completely different than the current climate.

With all that said, you have to chill Q-Tip.  I never understood the appeal of a two-guy threesome/running a train.  Call me old fashioned but I don’t want to see another man while I’m having sex, and don’t want a man looking at me while I have sex.  In his biography, Pimp C had a great rant about how suspect two-male threesomes are. I’d try to find it to quote, but his biography is 700 pages long.  First off Q-Tip, you start your verse by immediately referring to Mista Lawnge as Sugar Dick.  Hey Tip, I think that’s a nickname only his girlfriends call him.  Just two lines later Q-Tip challenges the said MC to, “live up to your label Mista Lawnge Sugar Dick.”  WHOA, pass the remote control so I can pause Q-Tip.  It’s weird to refer to another rapper as Mista Lawnge, and doubly weird to refer to him as Sugar Dick twice in four lines.  Q-Tip approaches the young lady to “finish the task,” but not before telling “Lawnge, she wants it.”  Yeah Q-Tip, she’s in a hotel room with three strangers, I think she’s down for some sex.  After he’s done, Q-Tip does the math of the night as Mista Lawnge is still on his mind: “Tip plus Lawnge plus ho equals wet sheets.”  Q-Tip has like 9 bars and refers to Mista Lawnge in five of them.  One thing is for certain about this studio session: Dame Dash was not there!

 

“Gimme The Finga” – Another interesting beat that sounds simple but was probably difficult to come up with and produce.  Dres’ hooks are pretty good, he uses them as a vehicle to break up a song, and often the hooks come out of nowhere.  This song has two of my favorite lines, Dres rapping about eating and washing down a Knish, and telling us his favorite show is “Who’s the Boss?” Not Fresh Prince, not A Different World, not In Living Color… nope Dres has more eclectic taste than that and only Tony Danza will do.

 

“Hoes We Know” – The most Native Tongue beat on entire album.  Dres refers to the casualness of his sexual encounter in an amazing way: “we stepped off and we Niked, we just did it”.  You’d think based on the title of the song that Mista Lawnge would have a verse, but he has a much more important role on the song.  After opening a book entitled “Hoes I Knows,” Mista Lawnge transforms into an old uncle whose voice sounds like the grandfather in The Boondocks.  The following types of hoes (their words, not mine!) are mentioned:

Black Sheep Hoes: Very promiscuous, “down to swing.” Uncle Lawnge has caught the rumors “I heard dem hoes be swinging.”

Triple H Hoes (Half and Half Hoes): AKA milky ho, very stuck up. They “act like invented poonani,” but that doesn’t stop Uncle Lawnge from yelling excitedly, “Half and Half Hoes!!!” before admitting he knows them.

Similak Hoes: Hey I know what Similak is!  Similak hoes “bring an instant erection”.

Red Light Special Hoes: “Hold the fly complexion.”  White moment: At first, I thought the red light referred to “happy ending after massage” chicks. Apparently, it refers to women on their period.  I don’t feel as bad because Uncle Lawnge was also confused: “Red…what the, what the fuck is that boy?!”

Sexual Chocolate Hoes: Complicated “like a game of a bridge”.  Uncle Lawnge is very familiar with this genre of female.  “I knows about sexual chocolate hoes, I knows.”

Goya Hoes: Are fly but “will wear anything.” They also excite Uncle Lawnge, “Wooh!!!”

Pork Fried Rice Hoes: These ladies “don’t understand the language,” but that doesn’t stop Uncle Lawnge enthusiastically yelling, “Oh, gimme some!” once Dres inaudibly describes them (cracks me up every time).

Someone, Mr. Lawnge I’m assuming, spends the last minute of the song begging to pee on a girl in the same tone of voice a child uses when asking for a toy.

 

“Black with N.V.” – My personal favorite beat and song on the album.  If Mr. Lawnge was born to rap on “Le Ménage,” then Dres was born to rap on this type of beat.  The song is about how African Americans’ history is hidden from them and the ensuing effects of such ignorance.  Native Tongue groups and backpack rappers have the challenge of rapping about conscious matters, while maintaining the bounce and confidence boosting sound hip-hop is known for.  2Pac and Rakim are the standard of how to tow that line.  Dres obviously isn’t in their league, but this song is the shining moment of his career.  He goes from rapping smoothly on the hook and immediately turns it to level 10 and starts ripping shit.  Dres does so many great things on the song: it’s his version of David Robinson’s Quadruple Double game.

 

“Pass The 40” – Is it still a posse track if it features a 14-year-old, not one but TWO A&R’s and a rapper named Hot Dog?  The glory days of the posse track were still to come but that’s no excuse.  Two years earlier, label mates De La Soul released “Buddy,” featuring The Jungle Brothers, Monie Love, Queen Latifah, Q-Tip, and Phife Dawg.  Two months earlier, label mates A Tribe Called Quest released Low End Theory, featuring the Leaders of The New School, allowing Busta Rhymes opportunity for his breakthrough verse.  In 1989, D.O.C. released the first West Coast posse track, “The Grand Finale,” a personal favorite.  If that wasn’t enough examples, Black Sheep could have just listened on repeat to the greatest posse cut of all, “The Symphony,” from Marley Marl’s In Control Vol. 1 album.  You’re on a label with De La Soul, Queen Latifah, Monie Love, Jungle Brothers and A Tribe Called Quest, and all you could get was a teenager, two A&R’s and a flunkey Jamaican rapper?

Let’s start with Chi-Ali because his story is interesting.  Being billed as a rap prodigy at such a young age must come with certain baggage. Being the Tracy Austin of rap must be hard.  Wait, you’re telling me there’s no cross section of golden era hip-hop and 70’s Women Tennis?  As a grown man I can’t imagine chopping it up in the studio with some of history’s best rappers, but that was Chi-Ali’s life before he even started high school. Imagine being an 8th grader, having a rap video on Yo! MTV Raps, and having your own album (while wearing Infared 6 Jordans on the cover).  After his debut, Chi-Ali didn’t pursue a rap career any further, and stayed out of limelight, until in 2000 he fled New York after being featured on two “America’s Most Wanted” episodes.  He served 12 years of a 14-year manslaughter sentence.  After coming home, he briefly dipped his feet back into rap and released a single for a song titled “G Check,” featuring Jadakiss.  The video looks like a lost episode of Money & Violence.  A documentary about Chi-Ali’s life is set to release in 2019.  If rap had 30 for 30s, Chi-Ali’s life story would have been one of the first handful of episodes.

It’s great to finally hear Chris Lighty’s voice on an album.  Just kidding, it’s terrible.  Chris Lighty fans can rejoice for he had the best A&R verse on the album.  The second best A&R verse belongs to someone named Dave Gossett who raps with a hitch in his flow and these little yelps at the end of his lines that make me physically cringe every time.  These A&R’s must have have had some serious dirt on Dres or something.  Chris Lighty was probably in bed one night and his girlfriend was like, “it’d be so cool if you also rapped.” He turned to her, “oh you wanna hear me rap, babe?” and proceeded to call Dres and demand a verse on the album.  When Dres told Chris Lighty he didn’t have enough people for a posse track, Chris gathered the most motley crew in the history of posse tracks, and grabbed whatever A&R’s, teenagers, and struggle rappers he could find.  I don’t think we’ll be bouncing our grandkids on our knees telling them about the time we heard two A&R’s rapping on a same song.

This brings us to Mr. Hot Dog.  Black Sheep bucked the popular trend of having a reggae influenced track on their album, opting instead for a Jamaican rapper.  If Hot Dog doesn’t sound like a rapper, that’s because he’s a dancer.  Hot Dog is a member of the A.T.E.E.M. not to be confused with Ransom and Hitchcock’s A-Team.  You’re probably familiar with A.T.E.E.M.’s star member, Chubb Rock. In 1992, Chubb Rock was one of most popular rappers following his radio friendly singles on his 1991 sophomore album.  You’re definitely familiar with the production duo Trackmasters who are known for “Juicy,” “I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need To Get By,” “If I Ruled The World,” and many others.  The A.T.E.E.M.’s debut album is entirely produced by Trackmasters and has the greatest album title in the history of hip-hop: “A Hero Ain’t Nuttin but a Sandwich.” I’ve never heard the album, but based off the title, it’s made my sacred top 100.  “A Hero Ain’t Nuttin but a Sandwich” needs to be discussed and referenced more often. I just need that album title in my life, someone make it happen.

It’s a shame Dres had to run with the bench unit for this track but he does his best to clean up at the end of the track.  The beat on the song is one of the better ones on the album, but I guess you have to have a good beat if half the rappers on the songs are A&R’s.  In no particular order here is a list of my favorite dozen posse tracks (not including the already mentioned classics):

B.G. ft. Big Tymers & the Hot Boys “Bling Bling” (1999)

Main Source ft. Nas, Joe Fatal, & Akinyele “Live at the Barbeque” (1991)

Jay-Z ft. Beanie Sigel, The Lox & Sauce Money “Reservoir Dogs” (1998)

Master P ft. Fiend, Silkk the Shocker, Mia X & Mystikal “Make ‘Em Say Uhh!” (1997)

Nas ft. AZ, Foxy Brown, & Cormega “Affirmative Action” (1996)

LL Cool J ft. Fat Joe, Foxy Brown, Keith Murray & Prodigy “I Shot Ya (Remix)” (1995)

Heltah Skeltah ft. O.G.C. “Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka” (1996)

Ma$e ft. Black Rob, The LOX & DMX “24 Hours to Live” (1997)

Snoop Doggy Dogg ft. Nate Dogg, Kurupt & Warren G “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)” (1993)

Noreaga ft. Nature, Big Pun, Cam’ron, Styles P & Jadakiss “Banned from T.V.” (1998)

The Luniz ft. E-40, Spice 1, Shock G, Richie Rich, Dru Down & Michael Marshall “I Got 5 On It (Remix)” (1995)

50 Cent ft. The Game, Lloyd Banks & Young Buck “Y’all Niggas Ain’t Fuckin With Us” (2004)

 

“Choice Is Yours (Revisited)” – Classic hook and classic beat.  The song is frequently listed on all the greatest rap singles lists.  KRS-One, Nas and N.O.R.E. have all made songs paying homage to the iconic single.  The tragic part about the song is it will forever be known as “the song that’s in the KIA Hamster commercial.”  To be clear, I’m not mad that Dres and Mista Lawnge got a check for the commercial, it’s great that without having to get up off the couch they can guarantee money for future generations of their family. But at what cost?  If your greatest artistic achievement is forever linked with driving Hamsters, does that make the money worth it?

“Yes” – The song is fine. It doesn’t stand out, and would have been better served following, “U Mean I’m Not.”  I’m not so much against the song as I am with the placement.  Having a ho-hum song wrapping up the album is a curious enough decision, but placing it after your best and catchiest song is unforgiveable.  Going from “Choice is Yours (Revisited)” to “Yes” is a bummer…and then the album ends.

A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing certainly deserves to be in consideration for the Top 100 rap albums of all time.  The uniqueness of Dres and the album probably gives it the edge over albums that may otherwise be a more enjoyable listen.  As far as Native Tongues albums go, I have it ranked either fifth or sixth.  It’s clearly behind the first three A Tribe Called Quest albums and De La Soul’s 3 Feet High and Rising.  I struggle with placing it above De La Soul Is Dead, because of the incredible Prince Paul production, but I think Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing deserves the nod for fifth because it’s more consistent and has much more actual rapping.  Until next time Dres and Mista Lawnge (who now goes by the more professional Mr. Long).

Lil Wayne ‘Tha Carter V’ Album Review

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For nearly a decade Lil Wayne had the entire rap section of the music industry on lock. 2004’s ‘Tha Carter’ was the beginning of Wayne’s domination, the following year’s second installment of the series elevated his profile to immense proportions. The rise didn’t stop till the series did. 2008’s ‘Tha Carter III’ literally made Wayne “The Best Rapper Alive” a self fulfilling prophesy and self spoken affirmation turned reality. Label politics aside Wayne’s status is solidified with his triumphant return in a time where a musician’s window of opportunity has been sized down by social media and the super speed of the media cycle. Super producer Mannie Fresh returns, Wayne brings past staples into the present seamlessly, with a 2018 version of ‘Special Delivery’ on ‘Uproar’, an Ashanti feature which sounds like a YMCMB compilation album crossover single, and rhyme schemes and flows long forgotten in the ‘mumble rap’ days of the current.

This feat is pulled off simply because Wayne is the influencer who birthed the current culture. He can bring things from his past easily into the modern paradigm because he is the one who shaped it. Every rapper today claims to be a ‘rockstar’, and proudly professes their diverse influences and rock fandom but it was only Wayne who allowed this to be accepted, pulling out guitar solos with zero practice had more of an influence on music than a purist would have ever anticipated.

 

‘Tha Carter V’ boasts introspective and honest tracks like ‘Open Letter’ ‘Mess’ ‘Don’t Cry’ ‘Famous’ -which features the rappers own mother- and ‘Let It All Work Out’. This openness is an attribute often overlooked when analyzing Wanye’s artistry. Production on the LP is pristine and inventive, at times though also dated, not negatively- his rhyme schemes are dated as well but due to the direction lyricism has gone songs like ‘Let It Fly’ featuring trailblazer Travis Scott shows why Wayne is lyrically miles ahead of the pack, he takes a limited rhyme concept and stretchs it out to near limitlessness extending on a self-created lyrical meme to an extent that seems almost impossible. In the streaming era Wayne, though never one to really release short albums, manages to make a daunting 23 track album have enough twists,turns, and changes in emotions to keep the listener interested. In it’s entirety ‘Tha Carter V’ is the much needed stamp on a legendary career, a polarizing figure in Hip-Hop where purist at times would place Wayne in the position of the person solely responsible for the commercialization and downfall of the culture, ironically with his return his talent is the one elevating the new generation conceptually, lyrically, artistically and emotionally.

 

Rating 8.3/10

Album Reviews: Travis Scott “Astroworld”

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“Who put this shit together? I’m the glue!” this lyric plays as a mission statement from Scott as ‘Astroworld’ is a return to form. Curating seems to be Travis’ strength above all else. As an artist who started out as a producer (yet has no producer credits on any of his own albums) then transitioned to rapper it only makes sense he was taken under Kanye West’s wing and it seems Scott has taken Ye’s ability to glue together polar opposites to new heights. Stevie Wonder playing a harmonica solo on a psychedelic trap song no longer is something only bedroom sampling producers would concoct, Travis manages to get Drake, Tame Impala, Stevie Wonder, Frank Ocean and more all seamlessly on a sporadic psychedelic soundscape all seen through a trap lens.

Travis Scott’s previous two efforts “Birds In The Trap Sing McKnight” (a step down from the fabulous debut ‘Rodeo’) & collabo album “Huncho Jack” both lacked the spirit and creativity of his all encompassing debut. Now becoming a full tabloid figure with his relationship with mega celebrity Kylie Jenner listeners would expect Travis’ originality and rebellious energy to be completely subdued and prepare for a career of bland generic trap as fame is a full time job and art we would assume would take a back seat. Surprisingly ‘Astroworld’ is a resurgence of that’Rodeo’ energy and hunger. ‘STARGAZING’ has Scott back to rapping bars similar to his XXL Freshmen days, something fans haven’t gotten since the opener ‘pornography’ on his debut.

Less nihilistic than his previous efforts ‘Astroworld’ has heart but still lacks focus in the content department.  “STOP TRYING TO BE GOD” hints of introspection but never delivers a clear thought, “SKELETONS” sonically is set for depth but only has glimpses of meaning. “WAKE UP” seems to be a  ‘Shiloh-esque’ instrumental (the mysterious Vine star who’s 6 second guitar work and unfinished musical sketches brought him fame), akin to rapper XXXTENTACION’s fully fleshed take on this sound on his debut “17” (which actually sampled Shiloh). Travis continues his mind boggling beat switches more than ever on this LP, changing what many on twitter thought was the better beat on “SICKO MODE” twice- and both worse than the last- only to have a Drake feature on the weakest of the 3 beats. Schizophrenic beat switches like this are a page right out of Madlib’s book, once a ‘weird’ move only used in the underground/alternative scene. Travis shows his broad musical palette on the production with Beastie Boys samples, Bigge’s “Give Me The Loot” stabs and a complete Goodie Mobb remake, a rare stroke of genius in a time where artists have zero concern for what came before them. “COFFEE BEAN” has Scott the most sharp and focused we’ve ever heard him and is a great end to an amazing LP that shows Scott will be around for a long time and will continue to push the genre of Trap to new territory.

 

Rating 8.1 / 10